Bewitched Moon
by Janie83
Summary: A SEQUEL TO MAGICAL TWILIGHT. A young witch Bella Swan continues to live in Forks with her father, where she spends nearly all her time practicing advanced magic so she could go back to Britain if needed. But will her boyfriend and his vampire family just let her go?
1. New Information

**A/N: Hello again! So I'm back with the sequel like I promised. First, I'd like to thank all of you who read, alerted and even reviewed my first story and I hope you'll like this one too. I have no idea how long this one's going to be, but I can promise that there will be a battle in the end :)**

 **Now, enjoy!**

 **Chapter one**

" _ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!"_ Renee squeeled into the phone so I had to hold it away from my ear. "I can't believe you didn't tell me before! How long has it been going on?"

"It's pretty new, Mom," I said with a sigh, rolling my eyes.

"How new is _pretty new?_ Does your father know? And _why_ didn't you tell me before? I'm your mother, I have the right to know these things!"

I knew why I had been putting off telling my mom about my relationship with Edward Cullen. I'd never had a boyfriend before and Renee had spent a rather big part of our month together in August encouraging me to finally find someone and that surely every girl my age had a boyfriend already. I was sure she also hoped that finding someone _here_ will keep me from ever wanting to go back to Britain, not that I'd ever told her that I wanted to do exactly that at some point anyway.

"Um." I hesitated, preparing myself for yet another one of Renee's outbursts. I saw Edward snicker on the bed, where he was writing his English essay, and I threw him an annoyed glare. He grinned widely but quickly turned his eyes back to the paper in front of him. It didn't make me feel much better though since he could still perfectly hear the whole conversation from both sides of the phone. I gritted my teeth and turned my attention back to my mother, who was huffing impatiently. "About a month?" I admitted, closing my eyes, expecting the worst.

Renee didn't disappoint.

 _"A MONTH?_ You have been dating a boy for a month without telling me? Why would you do this to me, Bella?"

"I'm sorry, Mom." I took a deep breath before I said what at least somehow resembled the truth. "But I was just too busy with school and stuff and then you were busy with taking care of Phil so I was waiting for the right time to tell you."

Well, she'd always cut our calls short these last few weeks while her new husband was in the hospital with a broken arm and I _was_ busy with school but not in the sense she thought. I didn't go to school anymore. Instead I learned most of the things I needed to know at home, having a sort of a private tutor who came to see me a few times a week. But I couldn't tell her that because these were things she didn't need to know since I was sure she would overreact.

"But does Charlie know?" she asked again impatiently.

"Um… yes."

"Why didn't _he_ tell me anything? I'll have to talk to him about it," she said and I quickly decided to warn my dad as soon as this phone call was over. "But now, tell me all about this boy of yours. What's his name? How old is he? Is he from Forks? Is he good looking?"

I groaned, letting my head drop on my knees, which were bent in front of me on the couch. I felt my face going red. The booming laughter I heard from downstairs didn't help either. Why I had chosen to make this call in a house full of vampires with superhearing was beyond me.

"Um… his name's Edward and he's… seventeen, like me," I stammered out, tightly closing my eyes against my knees. "And yes, he lives in Forks." I felt the surface of the couch next to me bend slightly and a pair of strong cold arms snaked around my shoulders. Edward gently kissed my temple and I leaned into him with a sigh. As usual, his presence had a strange, calming effect on me, even now when I was talking to my mother about him.

"And?" Renee apparently wasn't ready to give up her questioning any time soon. "What does he look like? Is he handsome?"

I turned my head to look at Edward's face. Handsome didn't really describe his looks. I would go with _gorgeous, hot, attractive, charming_ and probably many more adjectives but I had to remind myself that I was talking to my mother and that I was actually too shy to say these things aloud. "Yes, very," I finally said. Edward chuckled softly in my ear, causing my whole body to tremble slightly.

"Really?" Renee squeeled again and I closed my eyes tightly, trying to ignore Edward's lips that were currently nibbling at my earlobe. "You so have to send me a picture, Bella!"

"Um… yeah." I nearly gasped as Edward started tracing his lips along my jawline and down my throat. I had to concentrate on my breathing because I really didn't want to start panting into the phone right now. "Mom, I have to go. Um… someone's at the door."

Edward chuckled at my quickly made up excuse and I only hoped Renee wouldn't suspect that something's going on. She could be surprisingly perceptive sometimes. Fortunatelly she didn't seem to notice anything off and only quickly reminded me to _really_ send her a picture of my boyfriend.

After I finally ended the call, I quickly texted Charlie to warn him of Renee's impending call and then I threw the phone on the couch next to me. I moved even closer to Edward and tilted my head slightly to give him a better access to my throat. "What are you doing?" I asked, stifling a moan.

"Calming you down," he murmured against my throat, making me shiver. "You seemed stressed."

"Mmm," was all I could manage. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the very nice feeling of Edward's lips on my throat. He'd become increasingly bolder lately as he'd been getting used to my scent. I definitely didn't complain.

Edward groaned softly and pulled back, keeping his arms around me. I opened my eyes and looked at him curiously. "Toby's going to be here in five minutes," he explained with a sigh.

Tobias Jackson was the tutor that came here to teach me things that couldn't be taught at an ordinary school. He taught me magic, or more specifically, advanced defensive and offensive spells I could use in a fight. It might come handy if I was ever summoned back to Britain to help my friends against Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters, who'd taken over the wizarding Britain a couple of months ago.

I sighed as well and Edward let go of me so I could get up off the couch to get ready for the practice session. I was feeling quite excited. A few days ago, I'd finally managed my first non-verbal spell. Sure, it was just a simple Levitation charm, but after nearly a month of practising emptying my mind and nearly two weeks of failed attempts it truly felt amazing.

"Come in, Alice," Edward mumbled at the same time as his pixie-like sister burst into the room. I just managed to turn to her when she grabbed my arm and dragged me toward Edward's bathroom. He smiled at me apologetically and left the room.

"Alice, what - "

"I need to do your hair before you start your lesson, of course!" she explained and I shook my head but let her lead me to the bathroom where she pointed at the stool in front of the mirror. I sat down obediently and let her work.

It was a compromise we'd agreed on. I had reluctantly agreed with her buying me new clothes as long as it was nothing extravagant but she had no right to tell me what to wear until I specifically asked for it. On the other hand I was only happy to let her do my hair whenever she wanted. She'd admitted that she rarely had the chance to do it before, since her own hair was too short and Rosalie never let anyone touch hers. Only Esme allowed it sometimes but only on special occasions.

Alice combed my long hair and in a few more seconds created a perfect French braid. She turned me around to face her and eyed me criticaly.

"Bella," she started slowly. "The pale blue shirt I bought for you would - "

"Stop!" I put up my hand and she stopped talking, looking at me like she was being tortured. "There's nothing wrong with this t-shirt, Alice. And it's a practice session, not a fashion show."

"I know, I know," she said with an exaggerated sigh. "I had to try."

A few minutes later we entered the living room just as Toby was stepping out of the fireplace with a smile on his face. He quickly cleaned the ash off his clothes while I sat down in one of the armchairs, pulling my wand out of the pocket of my jeans. The Cullens had gathered in there too, as usual – they loved watching me learn new spells – though they always gave us space and stayed in the corners or sat on the stairs.

Sometimes, Charlie joined the Cullens to watch me too, but today he'd gone fishing with one of his friends from La Push, the small Indian reservation near Forks.

"So, Bella," started Toby after he'd sat down on the couch, while pulling a small old-looking book out of his bag. "Did you practice the spells I'd told you about?"

"Yes," I said, nodding. After I'd managed my first non-verbal spell, Toby had given me a short list of simple spells I was supposed to try non-verbally on my own.

"And?"

"Um." I hesitated, scratching the back of my head. "I think I can do the Summoning spell and Engorgement charm…"

He nodded, putting the book on the coffee table. I glanced at the title. It said: _Apparating Handbook – Everything You Need To Know._

My eyes popped out. "Really? You think I'm ready to apparate?"

Toby smiled, slowly shaking his head. "I'm not saying you're ready to start now. But I think you should know everything there is about it. You find everything important in this book." He tapped his finger on the fragile looking cover. "Read it and if you have any questions, you can ask me in our next meeting."

I nodded, taking the Handbook in my hand and lightly carressing the front cover. "Before you're ready though, you have to work hard at the non-verbal magic, Bella," Toby said and I looked up at him. "Continue with the list I gave you until you can do all the spells on your first try. Then we can start with apparating."

I felt excited but scared at the same time. Apparating was something I'd always wanted to learn but ever since I'd had the experience of side-along apparation I'd been a little more aprehensive about it. Toby must have noticed my expression because he tilted his head and frowned.

"I thought you were looking forward to it."

"Yes!" I said quickly. "It's just… um…" I stuttered, not sure what I wanted to say.

"Do you have any experience with apparating, Bella?" Toby asked, watching me closely.

"Well, yeah." I fidgeted in my seat and muttered, "I threw up after."

I should have known better than admitting something like that when Emmett was nearby. He let out another booming laughter which was followed by a smacking sound. I turned around and saw Edward standing next to him, glaring at him. I shook my head and turned back to Toby, who had been watching their exchange with amusement.

"I would be surprised if you didn't, Bella," Toby said, waving his hand. "Most people vomit the first time. I remember never wanting to do it again, and look at me now." He grinned.

I breathed out in relief and placed the Handbook back on the coffee table. Toby straightened up in his seat, looking at me curiously. "So, Bella. What do you know about duelling?"

"Um." I hesitated. "I know the basics. Our defence teacher in my first year tried to teach us but it never got past the first lesson and then Harry taught us a little about it in one of our DA meetings."

I had already told Toby about the Dumbledore's Army and at first he was somehow sceptical that at the time fifteen years old Harry Potter could know enough spells to actually teach us something. Only after I reminded him of Harry's involvement in the Triwizard Tournament, about which he had already heard, he seemed to accept it with a thoughtful nod.

"Good," Toby said, nodding his head. "So I don't have to explain the rules then. I'd like to try it with you today – " I frowned, confused, but before I could voice my objection he went on. "- even though I don't suppose there would be an actual duelling in a fight. I already know you have decent reflexes but I want to see your creativity and how quickly you are able to decide on which spell to use."

But before I had the chance to show him how fast my thinking was, I felt a sudden burning in my backside pocket. I jumped to my feet with a gasp, pulling the burning thing out of my jeans. It was my enchanted Galleon, a golden coin that was about the only means of communication with my friends in Britain. The burning meant that a secret message had been sent to me and I had to read it quickly, before it disappeared. It was only the third time it had happened since I arrived in Forks nearly two months ago. I squinted at it, trying to read what it said, aware of everyone watching me.

 _2 short taps. Pswrd: Fawkes._

I knew what it meant so I turned around, opening my mouth to say what I needed but Edward had already run upstairs and was back in three seconds, thrusting something in my hand. I smiled gratefully at him and at Alice, who winked at me, and then all the Cullens and Toby gathered around me to watch.

I placed the small radio on the coffee table and pulled out my wand. I had moved all my wizarding things into Edward's room shortly after I'd started my lessons with Toby – it was only logical since I'd been spending a lot of the time here lately anyway, being limited only to Charlie's house and the Cullens'.

I glanced around before raising my wand, pointing it at the radio. Everyone was watching me with curious expressions. Edward had been with me when I listened to the first Potterwatch broadcast three weeks ago and I knew he had told the others about it. The Potterwatch was a secret radio programme that had been set up by some people from the Order of the Phoenix – a group of wizards and witches who were trying to fight against Lord Voldemort back in Britain.

From the corner of my eye I could see Edward sitting on the arm of the chair. He started rubbing my back gently. I took a deep breath and followed the coin's instructions.

 _"…to our second Potterwatch,"_ said the voice of Lee Jordan from the radio. He was my fellow Gryffindor and a former Quidditch commentator. " _My name is River and I'd like to apologize for not reaching you sooner but it has become quite difficult to find a safe place that isn't infested by Snatchers or Death-Eaters."_

I frowned. I didn't know what or who „Snatchers" were but I pushed the thought aside, concentrating on Lee's next words.

 _"To those of you who didn't catch our last broadcast I'm going to repeat in short what the Potterwatch is. We're trying to give you the real news about what is really happening in our country because the Ministry controlled media give us not quite truthful information. We have two regular correspondents who will tell you what the official media never will_.

 _"I'm not sure how much time we have so let's move on quickly. Here is our first correspondent. Hello, Royal."_

 _"Good evening, River,"_ said Kingsley Shacklebolt, a man who'd always worked as an Auror and had a very prominent position at the Ministry but he was also a member of the Order so I had no idea what he did now.

 _"So, I mentioned the word Snatcher earlier. Can you tell our listeners, who haven't been lucky enough to run into them, who they are?"_

 _"Death-Eaters don't want to waste their time to do the dirty work so they hired outcasts and men who were in desperate need of money to do it for them. They're called Snatchers and are paid by the Ministry to catch the Muggle-borns and blood traitors. Officially, they are not among the Ministry employees and the media don't talk about them so people wouldn't be more careful about what they do or say. But the Snatchers are everywhere and have already caught many careless people."_

 _"Speaking of carelessness,"_ said Lee, " _I know you have a warning for our listeners, Royal."_

 _"You're right,"_ Kingsley agreed in a grave voice. " _Do not, under any circumstances, say You-Know-Who's real name aloud. A jinx has been put on the name, so whoever says it, will be caught immediately. A few people I know have been caught that way."_

 _"I have to admit that it's very clever, though,"_ said Lee thoughtfully. " _He knows it's only the members of the Order who say his name so that way he gets the big names."_

 _"Members of the Order and of course, Harry Potter,"_ Kingsley said what I was thinking right now.

I knew Harry had no problem saying his name so I wondered how they still hadn't caught him. I listened to Lee and Kingsley talking about how it was possible and what could have made Harry stop saying Voldemort's name. They eventually concluded that he must have heard about the jinx and had been careful since then.

 _"But you have some good news for us as well, don't you, Royal?"_ asked Lee and I leaned closer to the radio so I wouldn't miss a word.

 _"Yes, I have. I'm very happy to say that the Creevey brothers, that had been missing since the death of their parents, were found alive and are now safe."_ He didn't say where they were but even knowing that Colin and his brother Dennis were alive and safe sent a huge wave of relief through my body. I leaned back against Edward's side, my eyes still on the radio, listening for more information.

 _"Sadly, not all people were that lucky,"_ continued Kingsley and he went on announcing names of those who had gone missing or had been killed since the last broadcast. I went pale when he mentioned Dean Thomas and Ted Tonks among the missing people. Dean was another of my fellow Gryffindors though a year older than me. I'd gotten to know him a little better when he was dating my best friend Ginny about a year ago, and even though I'd never met Ted, I'd gotten to know his daughter who had been a frequent visitor to the Borrow during the times I'd spent there visiting Ginny.

 _"I'd like to remind you that many people in the missing list are actually in hiding,"_ said Kingsley. " _But since we have no information about them, we included them among the missing people. If you know where any of them are or if any of you are on the list, please try and contact your families if you can."_

 _"Thank you, Royal,"_ said Lee. " _And now let's welcome our second correspondent, Romulus, and our feature called Pals of Potter. Good evening, Romulus."_

 _"Hello, River,"_ said the voice of Remus Lupin, our former Defence teacher. He sounded tired, exhausted even.

 _"So, do you have any new information about Harry Potter?"_

 _"No,"_ said Lupin. " _There has been no sighting of him since the Ministry break-in in September. But we still think it's a good sign because I have no doubt we would have heard about it had he been captured."_

 _"Even though we have no information about Harry Potter himself, I heard something big had happened at Hogwarts. Would you tell our listeners the details, Romulus?"_

I was only dimly aware of Edward's fingers running down my arm soothingly, my whole attention was focused on the radio.

 _"Yes,"_ Lupin said with sigh. " _A report from Hogwarts was sent to some parents, informing them about an attempted robbery in the Headmaster's office. Apparently a small group of students tried to get to the office to steal a historic artefact that had been kept there. They were caught by the Headmaster himself and punished."_

I gasped, gaping at the radio with horror, my head swirling with images of the torture they had undoubtedly gone through. I had to make some effort to listen to Lupin's next words.

 _"The full extent of their punishment remains unknown, but we heard it involved going into the Forest, which is now even more dangerous than ever before. As far as we know though, all students involved in the incident should be all right, or at least with no permanent injuries."_

I closed my eyes and buried my face in my hands, trying to get images of acromantulas, werewolves or other deadly things out of my head.

 _"It's surprising they were not expelled though,"_ wondered Lee.

 _"I think Snape is under the instructions not to waste more ‚precious' pure blood than is absolutely necessary because You-Know-Who doesn't want the magical race to die out,"_ pointed out Lupin _._

 _"Yeah, especially with that new law that says that all students who get themselves expelled from Hogwarts would be considered blood traitors and their families hunted down and put to Azkaban."_

 _"Exactly,"_ agreed Lupin.

 _"Well, this is where we end tonight's Potterwatch. The next password is Moony but I can't tell you when we will be back. Those of you who received our little message, keep the little coin close, we'll try to contact you as soon as we can. Have a good night and keep faith."_

With those words the radio went into static and after a few more seconds the room fell completely silent.


	2. Dead Friend

**A/N: Hi! This chapter is a bit shorter but it took me ages to finish it. I had to rewrite it several times before I was even remotely happy with it. There will be another A/N at the bottom because I have an idea which I'd like to share with you.**

 **But for now, enjoy!**

 **Chapter two**

I couldn't sleep tonight.

It was after midnight and I was lying in bed, wide awake, still thinking about everything I'd heard on the radio this afternoon. Edward wasn't with me now, he'd gone hunting with Carlisle but he'd promised to be back soon.

After the Potterwatch had ended, it took me a while before I was able to focus on something else, but I still was too distracted. Eventually Toby had decided to end the lesson early and moved it to another time. Edward had looked worried and didn't really want to leave but I'd told him I was fine.

Now I regretted it.

I'd gotten so used to him being with me at night, that falling asleep alone would have been hard for me even without the news from Britain.

I couldn't get the images out of my head. Everytime I closed my eyes, I saw the faces of my friends, imagining them getting beaten or cruciated or chased by acromantulas. Lupin's assurance that they hadn't been injured permanently didn't help much.

There was also the mystery of the unknown artefact they had wanted to steal. What was it and what had they needed it for? They must have known that Snape's office would be closely guarded, not to mention you needed a password to get inside. It seemed absolutely crazy that someone would try to steal from there. I'd never been in the Headmaster's office myself but I knew there were portraits of former headmasters and I was sure that at least some of them wouldn't keep a robbery to themselves.

I felt a light breeze from the window and a second later familiar cold lips were pressed against my temple. Edward's dark figure then sat down on the bed next to me, leaning back against the headboard.

"It's late. Why aren't you sleeping?" he murmured, pulling me to his chest.

"Can't sleep," I said with a sigh, looking up at him. It was dark so I could only make out his outlines but I still couldn't resist looking at him.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked, sounding concerned. I sighed, not really sure if I should tell him, afraid that he would think I was overthinking it or something. When I didn't answer immediately, he inhaled through his nose impatiently. "Bella, you've barely said two words since Toby left. Talk to me, please."

I sighed again. I knew he wouldn't let it go. Not being able to read my mind was driving him crazy especially at times like this, when I was lost in thoughts, not really wanting to talk about it.

"I was thinking about the Potterwatch," I admitted, closing my eyes. He was quiet so I went on telling him about Dean Thomas and Ted Tonks and how I knew them. And how worried I was about Ginny and the others who had tried to steal from Snape.

"You don't know it was her, Bella," said Edward quietly, tightening his arms around me.

I finally opened my eyes again and looked up at him incredulously. I wanted to laugh but there was nothing funny about it. "I do. There's no way she would have missed being involved in something like this. And I'm sure Neville and Luna were there too."

I had told him once about the members of DA so I was glad I didn't have to remind him who I was talking about.

"How can you be so sure?"

I closed my eyes again, taking a deep breath. "Because they were always the most dedicated members of DA, right after Harry, Ron and Hermione."

"And what about you?" Of course he would ask that.

"Well…" I hesitated, knowing he wouldn't like what I was about to say. I felt him tense beside me. "Ginny is my best friend so… yeah… me too."

"What does it even mean that you were the most dedicated? What did you do?"

I hesitated again. I knew he wouldn't like it but on the other side I wanted him to know. I took a deep breath. "We might have gone to a mission with him in my fourth year. And there was a sort of a battle in school in June we somehow got involved in."

His arms tightened around me a little but other than that he was quiet. I refused to look at him, instead I decided to elaborate a little. I still wasn't feeling too tired anyway.

"At the end my fourth year, Harry got convinced that You-Know-Who had kidnapped his godfather and held him at the Ministry," I started, deciding on not going into too much details. I heard Edward take a sharp breath and I spoke quickly before he could ask. "Don't ask me how Harry thought so. It's complicated and I don't really understand it myself." It was true. "Anyway, I got involved by chance, really.

"Ginny, Luna and I overheard Harry shouting about something and we just got curious, you know. Before we knew it, we were persuading people not to go into the corridor where Umbridge had her office, so Harry and Hermione could check through Umbridge's fireplace if his godfather had really been taken or it was just a trick…"

So I spent the next hour or so talking about our trip to the Ministry. I had planned on leaving out the details but I ended up telling him everything after all. I still remembered many details rather vividly and when I got to the point where we had been surrounded by the Death Eaters, I was clutching Edward's shirt so tightly, that he had to gently take my hand away or I would have made a hole in the thin fabric.

Edward was quiet the whole time, rubbing soothing circles on my back when I became particularly stressed. I'd never talked about it, not even with Ginny who had been there too. But maybe it was _because_ we had both been there that we'd never talked about it.

"So you saw him? You-Know-Who?" Edward asked when I finished, feeling completely exhausted.

"Yeah. It was just a glimpse, really. But I'll never forget it." I closed my eyes and of course the greyishly pale noseless face and vibrant red eyes filled my vision. "You know what I always thought was weird? He had red eyes but I know he's not a vampire."

"Hmm. That _is_ strange," he muttered into my hair, sounding thoughtful. "Maybe you should ask Toby about it."

"Mmm," I hummed, yawning loudly.

"Get some sleep now," was the last thing I heard before drifting into surprisingly dreamless sleep.

* * *

When I opened my eyes Sunday morning, I was immediately blinded by a bright light coming from the corner of my room. I blinked several times before I realized what it was.

"Sorry," Edward muttered sheepishly, getting up from my rocking chair. He quickly drew back the curtains on my window and the room became dim.

He walked to my bed and sat down next to me, taking my hand and placing a gentle kiss on my knuckles. I could finally see his face, now, when the room was protected from the surpising bit of sunshine that had found its way to my window. He smiled but I could tell something was bothering him.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, frowning.

"Of course." He lifted one corner of his mouth into my favorite crooked smile. "I was just thinking."

He didn't elaborate and I didn't ask. For now, anyway.

* * *

"I think I heard your owl last night," Edward said while he was watching me eat breakfast.

My owl, Agnes, had been enjoying her freedom since I'd arrived in Forks and I had been seeing her even less since I'd started seeing Edward. The rare times I did see her she looked annoyed and soon flew away again.

"I think she's angry with me," I said with a sigh, stirring my cereals with a spoon.

"Angry?" He laughed incredulously. "She's an owl, Bella. They don't get angry."

I giggled at his patronizing tone. He sounded like a parent who tried to be patient with their five-year-old.

"Magical owls are more inteligent than normal owls, you know?" I said, shrugging. "They have feelings, emotions."

"In that case we should ask Jasper if he can feel something from her." He smirked, clearly not believing me.

I rolled my eyes and got up to put the empty bowl in the sink. Then I crossed the room back to where Edward sat and he, seeing my intention, opened his arms for me so I could climb onto his lap. I put my arms around his shoulders, just as he hugged me closer to his chest, and then I snaked my hands slowly into his hair on the back of his head. He closed his eyes and hummed in appreciation.

"Why is it so hard for you to believe that our owls are intelligent?" I asked, gently massaging his scalp.

He kept his eyes closed while answering. "I don't know. Maybe because they don't look magical unlike unicorns or dragons. They're just owls." He shrugged, finally opening his eyes that were smiling at me now.

"Well, you'll see for yourself when you meet her." If I ever managed to persuade her to come into my room again in the first place.

"So, what are we doing today?" Edward asked after a few minutes of silence, changing the topic. We were alone in the house again, Charlie had gone fishing as nearly every weekend.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I should probably practice the non-verbal spells but I could use a little break from magic just now," I admitted. I was still a little flustered from yesterday's news so I just wanted to clear my head and think of something else for a while.

"Let's go to the meadow then," he suggested and I happily agreed.

* * *

The sun had long disappeared behind the clouds but it was still warm enough to enjoy the day out. I was happy to be outside for a change since I had spent the last few weeks either at the Cullens or at home, rarely going out except for the practice sessions in the clearing behind the Cullen house. I wasn't allowed to go into town because officially I didn't live here anymore. The only other place I was allowed to visit was the house of my friend I'd met at Forks High School Angela Weber, but she'd been busy with school and taking care of her little brothers so we had yet to make arrangements for my visit.

The wildflowers that had been in full bloom in the meadow last time I had been here were gone now but the place had lost none of its charm. It was still green thanks to the everpresent rain and the trees surrounding it had gained the autumn colours now.

Edward lay down on the ground and closed his eyes, much like the first – and only – time I had been here with him about a month ago. And just as the first time, I sat down beside him, watching his handsome face, how his lips curled up into a gentle smile or how the breeze played with his messy bronze hair. He looked so calm and peaceful, carefree even, no doubt enjoying the quiet without any disturbing thoughts invading his mind.

"What are you thinking about?" he mumbled without opening his eyes and I had to laugh out loud. This made him look up at me with raised eyebrows. "What?"

"I was just thinking how you must be enjoying the quiet. But clearly I was wrong."

He chuckled and took my hand in both of his, placing it on his chest. "Well, I am enjoying it. It doesn't mean I'm not curious though."

"You don't know what you want," I teased but he just shrugged and started to play with my fingers.

After a while, I got an idea and started patting my pockets for my phone.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked curiously and lifted himself on his elbows.

"Well, Renee wanted a picture of you, didn't she?" I grinned triumphantly as I pulled out the phone out of my jeans.

"That she did."

"So…" I frowned at the little device, trying to figure out how to take a photo with it. Edward chuckled and took it from me. His fingers blurred across it for half a second and then he gave it back to me with a smirk. I scowled at him playfully but eventually I managed to snap a picture of him, half lying with a playful smirk on his handsome face.

I checked the screen and laughed. "Renee will be ecstatic."

He rolled his eyes, lowering himself back on the ground. "Are you going to send it to her now?"

"Yeah, and then I'll turn the phone off for at least a week."

I briefly considered actually doing it but then I changed my mind and put the phone back into my pocket. I would send it to her later. Instead I lay down next to him, resting my chin on his chest. Edward grinned at me and placed his right hand on my lower back and his left under his head, looking completely at ease with my close proximity.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, feeling suddenly shy so I kept my eyes on his chin.

"Sure."

"Um…" I hesitated, biting my lower lip.

"What is it, Bella?" He sounded curious, probably intrigued by my blushing.

"Well," I started again, clearing my throat nervously. "I was wondering… You seem much more relaxed around me lately. Like my scent doesn't affect you anymore…"

"It looks like that, doesn't it?" He murmured and I looked up into his eyes that were gazing intently into mine. Then he sighed, shifting his gaze on the cloudy sky. "Like I told you before, the more time I spend with you, the easier it gets. But it doesn't mean your scent doesn't affect me anymore. I still have to control my every move around you… But maybe it's become more automatic." He shrugged and looked back at me. "What is your question?"

"I was wondering," I said again, mentally cursing my natural shyness. I took a deep breath and just blurted it out. "Will it ever be possible for us to get more… um… physical…?" His eyes went wide so I hurried with explanation. "I mean, I'm not ready yet and I don't think you are either but maybe sometime in the future… if it's even possible…or…" As if I wasn't already feeling embarrassed enough, a horrible and completely humiliating thought crept into my mind – and of course I had to blurt it out as well. "…or if you're even interested in me that way." I hid my face in his shoulder after I finished, praying the ground would swallow me whole.

The silence that followed seemed to last forever but then I could feel his body shaking with laughter. I raised my head, feeling my cheeks go impossibly even redder. I narrowed my eyes at him and he immediately stopped laughing.

"I'm sorry, Bella. That was rude of me," he apologized, looking sincere, his lips curled up in a gentle smile. "But the idea that I'm not interested in you _that way_ is completely ridiculous." This time _my_ eyes went wide at his honest confession and he chuckled seeing my expression. Then he grew more serious. "But you're right that we're not ready yet."

"Yet?"

"Yet," he confirmed with a nod.

"So, you think it will be possible?" I was genuinely surprised. I had been a hundred percent sure he'd say no and I'd have to beg him to even hear me out.

He sighed, looking thoughtfully at a strand of my hair that he'd been playing with. "We'll have to be patient, though. Even if the bloodlust weren't the issue anymore, I'm still so much stronger than you." He looked at me sheepishly. "I'll have to learn how to touch you like that without hurting you. I can't lose control even for a second."

I swallowed hard but nodded. "So we'll take it slow then."

"Yes, slow," he whispered and, gently cupping my face, he lifted his head to kiss me on my lips.

* * *

When we got back to Charlie's, it was late afternoon and I was starving. I hadn't eaten since breakfast and it was my grumbling stomach that had prompted Edward to take me back. We had to come through the forest behind our house, using its cover so I wouldn't be seen by our neighbors across the street or some random passer-by. I hated having to hide like that but I understood it was necessary.

I opened the back door, coming straight to the living room, and stopped in my tracks when I saw Charlie, still in his fishing clothes, pacing around the room, looking very upset. He stopped pacing when he heard the door open and turned around quickly.

"Dad?" I said with concern and walked to him. I glanced at Edward questioningly but he just stared at Charlie with a deep frown.

"Where have you been, Bella? I tried to call you but you weren't answering."

I pulled out my phone, seeing it was dead and sighed. "It's dead."

"What happened, Charlie?" asked Edward quietly, looking intently at Charlie's very stressed face.

Charlie threw both his hands into his hair. "My friend Harry Clearwater. We went fishing together and now he's… he's dead."

 **A/N: Okay, so I was thinking, while writing (and rewriting) about Bella telling Edward about the Ministry, that I'd like to write some kind of compilation of outtakes about Bella's past at Hogwarts or different POV of already written chapters of MT or BM. So I want to know if you're interested in something like that. I think I'll write it anyway for myself but should I post it here as well? If so, please let me know in reviews or PM. And if there's something in particular you'd like to read about then I'm open to suggestions. Thank you!**

 **J.**


	3. Peace And Quiet

**A/N: Yes, I'm really here with another chapter. I can't believe I wrote it so fast either :)**

 **I just want to say a few words about my last A/N. I'm happy that most of you want to read about Bella's past and I feel like I should explain more clearly what exactly I meant. I don't want to include it in this story. It will be posted separately so it wouldn't be in the way of the plot. It will be a series of one-shots, short peeks into Bella's past. I will not repeat whole parts of HP books just with Bella in it though. It will be more about her life at Hogwarts, who she was friends with or how certain events affected her. I'll start posting it in a few days, hopefully.**

 **Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Now, enjoy!**

 **Chapter three**

I didn't really know much about Harry Clearwater. I'd met him twice when I was in Forks spending summer breaks with Charlie. Both times Charlie had taken me fishing with them, probably hoping I would enjoy it. I never had but I couldn't say I had a bad time either. Harry was a nice man and I remembered that he'd always talked about his wife and two kids. A girl who was a few years older than me, and a boy who was about twelve now. I didn't remember their names.

"How did it happen, Dad?" I asked hesitantly after Charlie had calmed down enough to sit with us at the kitchen table. I had made him a cup of strong, black coffee and he was now staring into it blankly.

"He always had a weak heart," he said in a quiet voice, not looking up from the coffee. "I had told him to go see a doctor. So many times. But he never did. He always refused to go to the hospital." He finally looked up, right into Edward's eyes.

"Because of Carlisle," Edward said in an equally quiet voice. I reached to take his hand under the table and squeezed it gently but his eyes were fixed on Charlie. "I'm sorry, Charlie."

"I don't blame you or Carlisle for that matter." Charlie shook his head sadly. It broke my heart seeing him like this. "I told him Carlisle was a good man. Or that he could see another doctor or go to Port Angeles."

"Why didn't he go?" I asked, my voice sounding too loud in this grim atmosphere.

"Money, I think. Leah has just started college and Seth is still in middle school. Sue, his wife, has some basic medical knowledge so he thought it was enough."

"I'm so sorry, Dad," I whispered but he looked lost in thoughts so I wasn't sure he heard me.

"We went on the lake this morning," he continued. "He wasn't feeling well but he was looking forward to it. When we were on the boat, in the middle of the lake, a big fish jumped out of the water. He… gasped and clutched at his chest. His face went all grey and sweaty…"

I reached out with my free hand and touched his arm. "Dad, you don't have to…"

But he just shook his head, determined to tell us everything. "He collapsed. I tried to get us to the shore as quickly as possible but we were too far. And there was no signal on my phone. My car was parked about a mile away, we had walked on our way there, there is really no proper road, you know? Just a path. I had to carry him on my back but he was heavy and it just took so long." Then he looked at Edward again. "When we finally got to the cruiser, I was surprised to see Carlisle's car just pulling over. Apparently Alice had seen what happened and called him but he had to take a detour to avoid the res. He took Harry in his car, it was faster. Harry was unconscious and Carlisle looked really worried. I followed them to the hospital. He went to the surgery but it was too late. Even Carlisle couldn't do anything…"

Edward was now frowning, looking confused. "Alice saw it happen? But… wasn't Harry Clearwater a Quileute?"

"She can't see the Quileutes," I mumbled, biting my lip. Then I turned back to Charlie but he wasn't paying us any attention. He just stared into the still full mug of coffee. I shook my head, pushing the mystery of Alice's gift out of my mind for the time being and stood up. "I think you need something stronger than coffee."

I walked to the living room for a bottle of Firewhisky I'd bought for Charlie when I'd been shopping with Angela at one of the magical shopping places in Los Angeles. He hadn't opened it yet, leaving it for special occasions but I thought he really needed it today. I placed the bottle on the table in front of Charlie and before I could turn toward the kitchen cabinet, Edward had beat me to it and placed an empty glass right next to the bottle.

Charlie looked taken aback, his eyes flickering between the bottle and the two of us.

"Believe me, it will help," I said, opening the bottle with a flick of my wand. I poured the liquid into the glass and shoved it right in front of him.

"How do you know?" he asked suspiciously, momentarily snapping out of his grief.

"I might have taken a sip once," I admitted, sitting back down next to Edward.

"So, you were drinking alcohol at school? I don't think underage drinking is allowed even in your world," Charlie said gruffly, scowling at me, the cop in him taking over.

I stifled back a chuckle – he was mourning his friend and it would have been inappropriate – and just shook my head. "Of course I wasn't drinking at school, Dad." I sighed, taking Edward's hand again and leaning my head against his shoulder. "When I was at the Weasleys this summer, a member of the Order died. So I was allowed to have a toast with the others since I was nearly an adult anyway."

Charlie looked like he wanted to ask something else but then he changed his mind and sighed. He took the glass and knocked it back in one gulp. I didn't even have time to warn him before –

"Goddamnit!" he choked out, his face going red, tears in his eyes.

"Well… it _is_ strong," I said with a shrug, watching Charlie gradually calm down, his hand touching his throat and then his chest. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks." He straightened his back, which had been hunched since he'd sat down. "I promised Sue to come and help her with some things." Then he glanced at his empty glass. "But I just had a drink…"

"Go to bed, Dad. You can go there tomorrow."

He just nodded, stood up and slowly walked out of the kitchen. In the doorway he turned back to us. "Thank you," he said quietly and then left. I could hear his slow steps on the stairs before the door to his bedroom closed with a click.

"I should go to see the family," said Edward, getting up and pulling me with him.

"I'm going with you."

"No, Bella. Stay here with Charlie."

I frowned, wanting to argue but then I realized he was right. My dad had just lost his friend and even though he'd gone to bed now, it would still feel just wrong to leave him here alone.

"Okay."

Edward smiled slightly at me, cupping my face in his large hands and kissed first my forehead, then the tip of my nose and finally my lips. "I'll be back later."

"I'll be waiting."

* * *

I didn't see much of Charlie the next few days. He was either at work or in La Push, coming home just to get a few hours of sleep. I didn't really want to be home alone so I spent even more time than usual at the Cullens, since I didn't have to be home for dinner with Charlie. He ate at the Clearwaters.

I resumed practising non-verbal spells Monday morning and by Wednesday night I was able to do most of the spells from Toby's list on the first try. I was really eager to start with apparating so I couldn't wait for the next lesson, that was supposed to be on Friday afternoon. We usually had a lesson on Tuesday but this time Toby excused himself, saying it was for family reasons. He'd never talked about his family so I could only guess what it could have meant.

Thursday morning I finally managed the last non-verbal spell, Alohomora, so after lunch I started reading the Apparating handbook Toby had given me. It was a very interesting reading and I got so lost in it that I didn't notice the time until Alice startled me by plopping on the couch in the living room, where I had been sitting, right next to me.

"Hey, Bella! I have an excellent idea!" She was beaming at me excitedly, so I put the handbook down and raised my eyebrows curiously. The others joined us then, sitting around us on the couch and armchairs, Emmett immediately turning on the TV. Edward sat down on the other side of me, kissing me on my cheek.

"Okay," I said slowly, when she didn't elaborate. "I'm listening."

"It's Halloween tomorrow!"

"So?"

She rolled her eyes dramaticaly. "So. Why don't we throw a Halloween party?"

There was a series of amused chuckles and laughs from the others but Alice ignored them, her eyes stayed fixed on me.

"A Halloween party," I repeated slowly, making sure I'd heard right. She nodded, smiling brightly at me. "And who would you want to invite? People are not supposed to know I'm still here."

"It could be just us and Angela, maybe Toby. He's going to be here tomorrow anyway. And Charlie…" she suggested but I shook my head.

"The funeral is tomorrow, Alice. He won't be in a mood for a party."

Her face fell at the reminder of Harry's funeral. I had asked her on Monday about her vision of his heart attack and she explained, that while she still can't see the Quileutes, she could see Charlie telling me about the incident. The vision had come to her unexpectedly and it took a while before she was able to determine the rough time when it would happen. She was still upset that she hadn't been able to see everything and save him.

"Okay. No Charlie, then." She nodded but then her face lit up again. "But Angela can bring her brothers. It will be fun, Bella!"

"But I wanted to be home with Charlie tomorrow. I don't want him to be alone after the funeral."

"Bella, he's going to be in La Push most of the day." Then Alice looked up somewhere behind me and grimaced in disappointment. I turned my head and saw Esme shaking her head.

"It's not a good idea, Alice. It would be disrespectful throwing a party while Bella's father mourns his friend."

"Esme's right," I said, feeling bad as I saw Alice's sad face. I tried to think of something to make her feel better. "You know what? Christmas is around the corner. We can have a party then. Maybe I can even make an official appearance if you wanted to invite someone from school."

Even before I'd finished speaking, Alice's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Oh, Bella! That's an amazing idea!" she squealed, jumping up off the couch. "I have to make a list of things I'll have to do! The decorations! Clothes! Music! There's so much to do!" And with that she was gone.

I gaped after her with my mouth hanging open. "What. Was. _That_?"

"You unleashed the monster, Bella," said Edward gravely, but when I looked at him I saw his eyes twinkling with amusement.

"Christmas is still nearly two months away. Any chance she'll forget about it by then?" I asked, trying to sound hopeful but knowing it was in vain.

"Even if she wasn't a vampire with perfect memory, it's Alice we're talking about," said Jasper, who had been watching us from one of the armchairs. "But I'll try to keep her in check," he added with a wink. Then he stood up and slowly walked up the stairs where Alice had disappeared.

I sank into Edward's chest with a sigh and he wrapped one arm around my shoulders, kissing the top of my head. Suddenly, I felt his head snap up. I looked up to see him glare at Emmett, who was grinning at us with mischief in his eyes.

"What?" I felt confused.

"You want to know the latest Forks High gossip, Bella?" Emmett asked gleefully, completely ignoring Edward's glare.

"Emmett," groaned Edward, dropping his head on the back of the couch.

My eyes flickered between Edward and Emmett and I could see that even Rosalie looked up from the magazine she had been reading. Esme sat down in Alice's previous spot next to me, looking curious as well.

"What happened?" I asked again.

I heard a giggle and Alice was suddenly back in the living room with Jasper in tow. He sat down in his armchair, pulling Alice in his lap.

"Really, it's not _that_ interesting," Edward protested but the others clearly ignored him.

"Now I'm really curious." I tried to sound patient but failed miserably.

"So," Emmett drew the word out dramaticaly, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "You know that the other kids at school have always avoided us, right? They always found us intimidating even though they didn't know why…"

"Yeah."

"Well, when you started going out with our little Eddie,- "

"Don't call me _that_!"

I chuckled but Emmett went on like he hadn't been interrupted, " – he became more soft around you." He chuckled for some reason and Edward sighed exasperately next to me. I glanced at him and he was pinching the bridge of his nose, eyes shut tightly. I turned back to face Emmett, narrowing my eyes at him, but again, he went on like nothing happened. "You made him more approachable. So when you left, some people thought they had to take care of his broken heart."

 _"What?"_

"Really, Bella, it's nothing -" Edward started but I put my palm on his mouth to stop him talking.

"I want to hear it. Who was it, Emmett?"

Emmett grinned widely. "Lauren Mallory. She waited for a while after you'd left and this week she decided to take matter into her own hands. She asked him out."

Edward gently took my hand away from his mouth so he could speak. "I refused, of course."

I kept my eyes on Emmett, silently asking him to continue. "Well, he apparently wasn't convincing enough because now she keeps telling everyone that they are secretly dating." He finished with a triumphant grin.

I spoke through gritted teeth. "That evil - " I stopped, glancing at a frowning Esme, knowing that she wouldn't appreciate my choice of words so I just shook my head. The others looked at me with amused expressions and even Edward chuckled. I took a deep breath and started again. "I wish I could just walk to school and scratch her eyes out so she wouldn't look at something that doesn't belong to her."

For a few seconds there was a complete silence and then Emmett guffawed so loudly that the glass in the windows shook slightly. The others joined him and I felt my face heat up immediately. Edward rubbed my arms soothingly but I could feel him shaking with silent laughter as well. I straightened up fighting my own laughter. My outburst really _was_ funny.

"Mallory does it because she wants to make Crowley jealous," said Edward after they'd all finished laughing. "She doesn't really have feelings for me."

"That's true," Jasper agreed, still chuckling.

"Well, that's even worse. She's just using you to get what she wants."

"I don't care," said Edward with a casual shrug. "It's not like I've fallen for it."

"Yeah, but still. I don't like it," I said stubbornly, frowning at him. He lifted his hand to smooth out the frown on my forehead with his fingertips and then lowered his head to me, ending the conversation with a kiss.

* * *

Later tonight, I was trying to finish reading the Apparating handbook but it was nearly impossible with the distractions Edward was providing. I was sitting on my bed, leaning against the headboard with the handbook propped against my bent knees. Edward was sitting next to me, his lips making a slow, torturous way from my throat up to my jawline and then to my earlobe.

I swallowed hard but other than that I tried to ignore him, keeping my eyes stubbornly on the page I was attempting to read.

Then he did something that nearly made me throw the handbook across the room and do something we both would regret - he kissed the soft spot right under my ear and gently nibbled at it with his cold lips.

"Edward," I said. My voice sounded hoarse so I cleared my throat. "What are you doing?"

"Practicing resisting your scent," he mumbled in my ear and his cold breath made me shiver.

I carefully closed the fragile book and put it on the bedside table. Then I lowered myself on the pillows, which left Edward hovering above me. He lay down too, so his head was the same level with mine. I felt his hand travelling up my arm and then he cupped my cheek, carresing it with his thumb. I soon got lost in his intense eyes until his low chuckle and amused expression brought me back to my senses.

"What's so funny?"

"You."

I frowned, confused. "Why?"

"I liked how you got all possessive about me this afternoon," he said with another chuckle.

I rolled my eyes, grimacing. "I guess I got carried away a little."

"You can get carried away whenever you like," he whispered in my ear. He sounded different, his voice was a little deeper and huskier than usual.

I felt the blush creep in my face and my heart was beating so fast I was afraid it would jump out of my chest.

"How many women have you been with?" The question was out of my mouth even before I finished forming it in my head. I didn't know why I'd asked it. My brain to mouth filter must have been seriously damaged. I wished I could take it back since I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

I avoided his eyes, tugging at the comforter to cover myself, preferably my head too, but Edward grasped my wrist to stop the movement. His cold fingers then touched my chin, turning my head so I would look at him. "Sorry," I mumbled, feeling embarrassed.

"Don't be," he said, smiling gently. "Though I have to admit I didn't expect it." He suddenly looked shy, embarrassed even.

"God," I groaned. "That bad? No, wait, don't tell me, I don't want to know." I covered my face in my hands.

I heard him sigh and then his fingers were on my wrists again, taking my hands in his. "Look at me, Bella," he said quietly, waiting until I obeyed. "I've never been with anyone. You are the first and only woman I've ever been attracted to."

I blinked, my mind slowly processing what he'd just said. "You… you've never…"

"No."

"But… but you're over hundred years old!"

"Believe me, I'm aware of that."

I chewed on my lower lip before asking the next question. "Don't you… miss it?"

He stared somewhere behind my shoulder, clearly thinking about the answer. Then he looked back at me and smiled. "Well… I want it now," he admitted slowly. "You've awoken that part of me. But before…" He shrugged and went on. "Esme was worried, you know? That I was too young when Carlisle changed me, that something went wrong."

"What about when you were human? You were seventeen. Weren't you interested in girls back then?"

Again, he was quiet for a moment, staring into the space with a distant look. "I don't know. But I think I would have remembered if there had been someone who I… was close to." Then he looked back at me, his lips turned up in a small smile. "I think I was too obsessed with the idea of being a soldier that I didn't think much about girls."

We fell silent after that. I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling his lips touch my hair. I thought about the number of women, either human or vampire, he must have met in his long years. And yet, he'd chosen to be with me. There had been a time, when I was sure that he had been interested in me just because of my magic. That if I were just an ordinary girl, he wouldn't have noticed me. But now I wasn't so sure.

"Edward?"

"Mmm?" he hummed, breathing into my hair.

"Do you think that… um… that you would have been still interested in me, if I weren't a witch?" My voice was so quiet that I was sure that a human wouldn't be able to hear me. But I knew Edward could. I closed my eyes, wrapping my arm around his chest tightly, needing to feel him close to me even if it was his answer I was afraid to hear. "Be honest, please."

"Why do you ask that?" he asked after a few endless seconds of silence.

"Well," I hesitated. "You would have been able to hear my mind. I would have been just an ordinary girl. There would have been no secret for you to find out." I finished with a shrug.

"Bella," he said with a sigh, planting another kiss on the top of my head. "My… interest in you has nothing to do with you being a witch."

"But if you could read my mind - " I started but he pressed his finger against my lips.

"If I could read your mind, I'm sure I would have still felt the same."

"But my thoughts are so boring," I said against his finger so the words sounded somehow muffled. He let me take his finger away from my mouth so I could go on. "How do you know they're not the same as… I don't know… Jessica's or Lauren's."

"Bella," he said with another sigh, this time sounding more frustrated. "You are nothing like those two. There are a lot of people with kind thoughts and I'm sure you're one of them." The he suddenly chuckled and I could feel his smile against my temple. "Maybe it would have been you trying to discover _my_ secrets because I wouldn't have been able to stop chasing after you."

I giggled, feeling better. He went on more quietly. "I think that we were supposed to meet. That it would have happened even if you hadn't been forced to go into hiding."

"Yeah, Charlie lives here," I mumbled.

"Exactly."

With one of my worries being chased away, I let out a contented sigh and soon drifted to sleep.


	4. Careful

**Chapter four**

I spent Friday morning with Charlie. He'd taken the day off so he could attend Harry's funeral and then, just as Alice had predicted, he planned on spending the rest of the day with Sue and her family. From what he'd told me, the kids took the death of their father pretty hard, especially Seth. The boy had spent most of his time this week alone in his room or on the beach, not wanting to talk to anyone. Leah was a little better, she'd helped her mother a lot but she too had been more quiet than usual. I felt sorry for them even though I'd never met either of them.

Charlie walked in the kitchen dressed in his new black suit, courtesy of Alice who had delivered it earlier this morning, saying that he just couldn't go among people in his " _old moth-eaten monstrosity_."

"Wow," I said, looking up at him from the kitchen table where I had been eating my late breakfast. I was surprised how good he looked in it. Last time I'd seen him in a suit was at my grandparents' funeral when I was ten years old.

He smiled slightly but then grew more serious. "Bella?" he said, shifting his feet uncomfortably.

"Yeah?"

"I… um… I'm sorry I haven't spent much time with you this week." He was standing behind one of the kitchen chairs, gripping its back with both hands. "It should get better after today."

"It's okay, Dad," I hurriedly assured him. I stood up and crossed the space between us in two steps. "Don't worry about it."

He nodded and then looked me in the eyes. "I'm really glad you're here, you know?"

"Me too." I smiled and hugged him tightly. He seemed taken aback because it took a few seconds before he hugged me back but then he tightened his arms around me and held me for what seemed like a very long time.

"Thank you," he murmured and with a nod walked out to the hall. I went after him and watched him put on the black coat Alice had brought with the suit. I had to give it to her – she knew what she was doing.

After Charlie and I said goodbye, I headed for the fireplace. I decided to ask Esme if she wanted to bake cookies for my dad with me.

* * *

Esme was thrilled when I suggested the cookies so we spent the rest of the morning in the kitchen. I really liked spending time with her and with a twitch of guilt I realized that I felt more comfortable around her than around my own mother. I loved Renee but since I'd found out I was a witch there had always been some sort of a gap between us. I hated that I couldn't really talk about the magical things with her. She'd ask about school but never wanted any details, only was interested in my grades and if I had friends.

Or boyfriends.

Ever since I'd sent her the picture of Edward, my mother bombarded me with questions about him and asked repeatedly when she was going to see him. When I'd told Edward, he laughed and said he had no problem with going to visit her with me at some point. I was dreading it, to be honest. Unlike Charlie, she didn't know about the existence of vampires so we would have to be on our guard all the time. And the fact that she lived in Florida, probably the sunniest place in the US, didn't help either.

"Bella?"

I was brought back by Esme's worried tone. I blinked at her, confused. "What?"

She smiled and pointed at the oven. "I said that the cookies should be done by now. Do you want to check on them or should I?"

"Oh." I quickly stood up and went to check on the cookies. I pulled them out of the oven and put them on the counter to cool down, noting that they looked rather tasty. "Not so bad, huh?" I turned back to Esme who was still watching me curiously. "What?"

"What were you thinking about? You seemed really far away."

I shrugged and walked back to the table to sit down. "My mom." Esme raised her eyebrows and I decided to elaborate a bit. "She wants to meet Edward and I was just wondering if it's a good idea."

She smiled and sat down too. "Well, it's only natural for a mother to want to know her daughter's boyfriend."

"I know, it's just…" I frowned, leaning back in the chair. "… I've just so gotten used to not having to keep secrets anymore that I'm not sure if I'll be able to pretend Edward is… well…"

"Human?" Esme offered the word I'd been looking for.

"Yeah."

"You'd been doing fine with Charlie before we told him. And at school," she gently reminded me.

"I know, but Renee… sometimes she can be really perceptive. And she knows about magic even though she likes to pretend otherwise."

"You can always tell her the truth, Bella. I believe she would be as protected from the Volturi as Charlie because she's your mother."

"Yes, but I doubt she would be as understanding. And then there's her husband. I'm not really sure the rules apply to him as well. He doesn't even know about magic." It was true. Renee had kept this little detail about me from Phil, telling him simply that I'd been studying abroad. It had become more tricky when I started bringing my owl with me but fortunatelly when I'd first arrived with Agnes, he didn't ask any questions. I'd always been wondering what Renee had told him but decided not to worry about it too much.

"You should talk to Edward about it," Esme suggested gently. "I'm sure you two can come up with a satisfactory idea."

"Yeah, I'll do that," I said with a nod. "Thank you, Esme."

"You're welcome, dear." She smiled brightly. "Now, why don't you try the cookies?"

* * *

Toby arrived later this afternoon and shortly after him, Angela appeared in the fireplace. Apparently she had been invited by the others because no one, except for me and Esme, looked surprised.

"Hey! I didn't know you were coming!" I beamed at her. I hadn't seen her for some time and it felt nice having someone else here for a change. Most of the time the only people I was allowed to see were the Cullens and Charlie. I didn't complain but sometimes I missed interacting with other people.

"Alice invited me," Angela said and hugged me briefly. "She thought you would appreciate seeing someone else than a bunch of vampires and your dad."

I looked at Alice who just shrugged, grinning knowingly. I smiled gratefully but then looked around at the others. "It's not that I don't like you guys around - "

"Bella," said Esme, putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked at her and she smiled. "It's normal wanting to see other people."

I nodded with a blush but then Toby cleared his throat loudly. "I hate interrupting but maybe we should start with the lesson."

"Right." I moved to the couch where Toby was sitting and sat down. The others were, as usual, standing or sitting nearby, watching but at the same time giving us the space we needed. Angela sat down on the step leading to the dais with Edward's piano with Alice and they were chatting quietly. Apparently, they had become friends at school.

"So," started Toby, turning to face me. "Your homework. How is it going?"

"Well, I can do all the non-verbal spells on your list."

"On the first try?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, show me."

I did. One by one I meticulously performed all the spells with hard concentration. When I was done, I looked at Toby expectantly.

He beamed at me. "That's great, Bella. I didn't think you would manage it so quickly." I blushed at his compliment. "You still need to focus too hard but it will get easier in time." I nodded. "Of course, I highly recommend doing all spells non-verbally from now on, not just the ones on the list."

"Okay."

"Now the Apparation. Have you looked into the handbook?"

"I've finished it."

"You have?" Toby looked surprised. "You sure don't waste your time."

"Well, there's really not much else to do, so…" I trailled off, shrugging.

"Maybe you should find a new hobby," smirked Toby and I could hear a deep chuckle from Emmett and a quiet groan from Edward, who was perched on an arm of the couch I was sitting on. I rolled my eyes but kept looking at Toby, ignoring those two.

"The Apparition?" I prompted Toby impatiently.

He laughed but returned to the actual lesson. "Okay, so, since you've already finished the book, you should know the rules and theory how to do it. Right?"

"Right."

"You said you already experienced a side-along Apparition but you were sick after." I grimaced, feeling the blood rising to my cheeks again. "So you need to get used to the sensation," Toby continued. "I'm going to take you on a few trial jumps so you get used to it."

"Jumps?"

"That's how we call it at MACUSA," he explained and stood up. "So, let's go."

"Now?" I said in a much higher voice than usual, my eyes wide.

"Why not?" He tilted his head. "Or are you afraid?"

"Of course not!" I stood up quickly, straightening my back. I looked around and the others were standing up too, Alice and Angela had already disappeared outside. I gulped. I didn't really want them to see me vomit again. Seeing Emmett, I knew it was exactly what he hoped would happen.

I could feel cold fingers wrapping around my wrist and looked up into Edward's face. Smiling gently, he tugged at my hand. "Come on. It's going to be fine."

I weaved my fingers through his and together we followed the others out the back door. Once we were outside, Toby motioned for me to join him. I took a deep breath and, squeezing Edward's fingers for the last time, I let go of his hand and made my way to Toby.

"So," Toby said when I stopped right next to him. „You see the tree?" He pointed at one of the tall cedars surrounding the Cullen house. I nodded. "That's where we're going to apparate. Now, hold onto my arm." He offered me his arm and I gripped it tightly. "Ready?"

"No," I mumbled. "Let's do it."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Then Toby's arm jerked and a moment later I could feel my body being squeezed from all sides. It felt like it was trying to fit into a really tiny space.

Thankfully it was over really quickly and when I opened my eyes, we were standing next to the cedar. I blinked a few times, feeling completely numb. It took a few seconds before my senses caught up with my body. I kept my eyes shut, the nausea already settling in my stomach, threatening to rise up and through my throat.

"She's green!" I heard a frantic, familiar voice right next to my ear and a cold hand touched my forehead. It felt nice.

Then someone thrust a small vial into my shaking hand. "Drink it," Toby ordered calmly. I did as I was told and almost instantly the nausea was gone, instead a warm calmness spread through my body. "Better?"

I nodded, sagging into Edward's arms that immediately tightened around me. I opened my eyes and saw everyone standing around me, including Carlisle, who had returned from the hospital. They all looked worried or concerned. Even Rosalie, who stood farther behind the others, seemed uneasy. "I'm fine," I mumbled with a weak smile.

"What was in that bottle?" asked Carlisle, who'se face turned rather excited now that I apparently looked better.

"Just a simple anti-sickness potion," Toby said with a shrug.

"It's amazing how she looks completely normal after just a few seconds," Carlisle still enthused over it. "It takes at least minutes for normal medication to take effect."

I did feel completely normal now but Edward kept running his hands up and down my arms soothingly. "I'm fine, really," I said, looking up at him.

"I don't like this," he muttered into my hair, dropping a small kiss on the top of my head but he removed his hands.

"So, can we try again?" I turned my eyes to Toby.

He grinned approvingly at me. "That's the spirit!" He clapped his hands, offering me his arm. I glanced at Edward, who was running his hand through his hair, not looking very happy with the idea.

"Do you have more of these anti-sickness potions?" I asked Toby, just to be sure.

"Don't worry, Bella, I came here prepared." He winked at me and I grabbed his arm right before I could feel the now familiar squeezing sensation and I quickly closed my eyes.

After two more tries, the nausea was still there, only fractionally better.

"Why does it affect me like this?" I asked Toby when we were again back in the living room. "I don't remember anyone from school talking about such a reaction last year."

"Everyone is different, Bella," he said. He didn't look concerned so it calmed me slightly. "And just because they didn't talk about it doesn't mean they weren't sick."

"It took me ages to get used to it," piped up Angela from the step she was again sitting on. „And I never apparated alone, obviously."

I laughed, feeling better. "I thought it would be like a Portkey," I admitted. "I mean, I don't much like Portkeys either but they don't make me sick." They'd only ever made me lose my balance so I always ended up on my butt. But I wisely chose not to mention this right now.

"What's a Portkey?" asked Jasper curiously.

"It's an object that is enchanted to transport people from one place to another," said Toby and it sounded like he recited its definition from a textbook. Then he looked back at me with a raised eyebrow. "That's interesting, Bella. Many people have worse reaction to a Portkey than to Apparation. I think…" He paused, pressing a finger against his chin thoughtfully. "I think your nausea is caused mostly by the magical energy, not the sensation itself."

From the corner of my eye I could see Carlisle sitting with his elbows on his knees, leaning forward, his face excited. I smiled widely but returned my attention to Toby.

"What's the difference?" I asked.

"Quite a big one, actually," Toby said. "With other means of magical transport, the magical energy is concentrated in the object itself. Brooms, Portkeys, even the Floo Powder. But with Apparition, the energy goes from the person directly. Even in side-along Apparition the energy went from me to you, it's a little different from the energy accumulated in objects so the effects are different too. I'm not going to go into details here because I don't really understand the nuances myself but if someone," he looked at Carlisle, „were interested, I can get the materials for further study."

"I'd love that!" Carlisle beamed at him and everyone laughed at his boyish excitement.

"What is the point?" asked Emmett, shaking his head. "You have no magic in you."

"Knowledge, Emmett!" Carlisle mockingly glared at him. "Information! One can never get enough of those."

* * *

Later tonight I was lying in my bed with Edward, who was flipping through the Apparating Handbook, which Toby had allowed me to keep for now. I was reading a normal book for a change, a Jane Austen novel Pride and Prejudice I'd borrowed from Esme. After a while I felt Edward stiffen beside me and I knew immediately what had made him react like that.

" _Splinching_ ," he read aloud through his gritted teeth. " _A sepparation of random body parts that can be caused by insufficient determination or concentration_." I could feel his eyes piercing my skull now so I kept my own eyes on my book. "You forgot to mention this."

"Yeah, that can happen," I said matter-of-factly with a shrug.

"Bella," he warned, his voice indicating that he was deadly serious.

I sighed, putting the book on my bedside table, and slowly turned my head to face him. He looked angry, his lips pressed into a thin line, eyes hard. I knew he hated when I downplayed any potential danger, but I still tried to sound like it wasn't a big deal. "Really, Edward. It's nothing you should worry about. It's the same as if I was driving a car. There's always danger of a crash."

His eyes got even harder. "But you don't necessarily _die_ in a car crash, Bella."

"I don't think I would necessarily _die_ if I got splinched." I rolled my eyes. Seeing the incredulous look on his face I explained. "There are ways to reattach the body parts. Otherways there would be quite a lot of one-legged or one-armed wizards around. I've never seen anyone - " Then I paused, remembering Mad-Eye Moody's wooden leg and backpedaled a little. „- um… okay… I knew one man without a leg but I'm pretty sure it wasn't caused by splinching." Okay, I _wasn't_ a hundred percent sure Moody's injury hadn't been caused by splinching but I couldn't imagine him not being able to succesfully apparate.

Edward didn't look too impressed by my little speech but at least his features softened a little. "I hate this," he said quietly. He snaked his arm around my lower back and pulled me against his side. "Just the idea of you being hurt, no matter how small the injury might be, is painful."

I shifted even closer so I could reach his face with my lips and kissed his jaw. "I'll be careful. I promise."


	5. Seattle and Date

**Chapter five**

"Bella!" Charlie called from downstairs. "Alice's here!"

I groaned, burying my face deeper into the pillow. A soft chuckle next to me revealed that Edward was still here and a second later I felt his lips in my hair. "Send her away," I mumbled into the pillow but right at the moment there was a loud knock on the door just before it opened with a bang.

"Alice!" I heard Edward hiss warningly.

"Get up, Bella!" Alice's high voice sounded annoyingly close to my ear and she clearly ignored Edward's warning. "We're going to Seattle."

I lifted my head and turned to glare at her. "What?"

"The weather will be perfect and you still need more clothes," she said and the next second she was standing before my closet. "Charlie thinks it's a great idea."

"You haven't even talked to him yet," said Edward, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Okay, he _is going to_ think it's a great idea." Alice waved her hand dismissively, now rummaging through my clothes, and then held up a pair of dark skinny jeans.

I glanced at the alarm clock, seeing it's only 7:30 AM and groaned again. Then I looked at Edward, pleading with him with my eyes to do something. He smiled apologetically, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, once she's set her mind to something, there's no stopping her."

I stared at him disbelievingly. "Traitor," I hissed at him through gritted teeth and then turned back to Alice. "What do I need more clothes for? I don't go out!"

"One can never have enough clothes." Alice turned back to me, placing the jeans and a dark green long-sleeved t-shirt on the bed. She looked calm, not in the least fazed by my grumpy mood.

I huffed, crossing my arms. "I promised Charlie to spend today with him." I wasn't about to give up that easily.

Edward wrapped his arms around me from behind, kissing my cheek. "Bella, Billy Black is coming to visit Charlie this afternoon," he said in my ear. His cold breath sent a shiver through my body. "You would have to leave anyway."

"I still can spend the morning with him." I saw the two of them exchange a look. "What?"

"Bella," Alice started, sitting down on the bed next to me. "The visions of Charlie this afternoon are blurry at best but it's possible that Billy Black won't be alone. Either Jacob or another Quileute will be with him and if it's someone who has already gone through the transformation, they will be able to smell you. And us."

"They can smell you in their human form? And me?" I asked, confused.

"Yes," said Edward. "Their senses get enhanced by the transformation."

"You know a lot about them," I pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

He shrugged. "They weren't very careful with their thoughts in the meeting." He and Carlisle had met with the Quileutes after Victoria had run across their territory.

I sighed with resignation. "Okay."

Alice beamed at me and jumped up, clapping her hands together. "Angela and Esme are coming with us. I tried to convince Rose to come too but… well, she had other plans. Anyway, it's going to be fun!"

"Are you coming too?" I asked Edward, hoping to have at least some distraction from the torture that was shopping with Alice.

"God, no. There are things I'd rather avoid."

* * *

Charlie was indeed okay with me gone today. Edward and Alice explained to him, without revealing that the Quileutes were shape-shifters, the importance of me not being here all day. He also agreed to air out the house to get rid of mine and the vampire scents but said he would later want an explanation. The two vampires exchanged a look but eventually Edward reluctantly nodded.

The day turned out to be better than I'd expected. We took Edward's Volvo and with Alice's fast driving we arrived in Seattle in under three hours. Together with Esme and Angela we managed to talk Alice out of a crazy shopping spree she'd planned out. Instead we had a light lunch in a small, cozy restaurant that had a beautiful view of the Lake Union. Well, Angela and I had lunch while Esme and Alice pretended to sip from a glass of water.

After that, Alice finally dragged us to a department store to do some shopping. Esme wanted to go to a furniture store and Angela was excited about a new book which she wanted to buy. I intended to go with Angela to the bookstore but Alice tugged at my arm, looking at me with her big, puppy eyes.

"Alice, you can buy me clothes without me in there. You did it before!" I whined.

"Please, Bella. I just want to spend some time with you." I knew she meant well but I'd prefer to spend time with her doing anything but shopping. She batted her eyelashes at me, much to Angela's and Esme's amusement, until I gave up.

"Okay, let's go," I said with a resigned sigh.

She beamed at me, grabbing my arm. We said goodbye to Angela and Esme, agreeing on meeting here in an hour, which Alice immediately corrected to two hours. Rolling my eyes, I let her drag me away.

We passed many various shops including the ones with clothes but to my utter surprise Alice didn't stop to go inside. She continued leading me to a very far end of the department store until we stopped in front of a small café. Alice gently pushed me inside and seated us at a table for two. She bought me a cup of hot chocolate and then turned her big golden eyes at me.

"Um, I thought you wanted to buy me clothes," I said, confused.

"That can wait," she said, waving her hand. "I just wanted a little girl to girl chat."

I sipped the chocolate, which was delicious, and sat back in my chair. "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

Alice frowned a little, her face growing serious. It was quite an unusual sight, I was so used to her nearly constant cheerful mood.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, suddenly feeling anxious.

"Well, it may be," she said cryptically.

"What do you mean?"

"Bella," she started, taking a deep breath, "I know it's none of my bussiness but you're aware there are no secrets in my family, right?" I nodded slowly, wondering where she was going with it. "I don't want you to feel pressured and you don't have to answer… in fact you can tell me to mind my own bussiness… " She was rambling now and I grew impatient but before I could point it out she fell quiet, her eyes glazing over just for a second. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling." She smiled apologetically.

"What's going on, Alice?"

"It's about Edward," she said quietly. I raised my eyebrows, wordlessly asking her to explain. "Before he met you, he'd been… well, not exactly unhappy, but he didn't really live, he just… existed. He had his music and books but even though he's a bit of a loner, I know he felt very lonely. Especially when the rest of us spent the time with our mates."

I could just imagine that. Edward sitting in his room or at the piano, alone while the family were enjoying the time with their significant others. Something tugged at my heart and I felt the sudden desire to be with him, to just hold him and never let go.

Alice's voice interrupted my silent musings. "When you came here, he became a new man. I'd never seen him like that. There's light in his eyes I'd never seen before." She paused, looking me right in the eyes. "I know you care about him, Bella. But… do you love him?"

I was sure she knew my feelings for Edward. Her husband was an empath and even if he didn't tell her, she must have known since I'd realized I was in love with her brother. But for some reason she wanted me to say it.

"Yes," I said. "But you knew that already."

She grinned at me. "I did, but you needed to say it." Then she turned serious again. "Bella, you have to tell him."

"I've been meaning to… but…" I trailed off, shrugging.

"You don't know how?"

I nodded. "And he didn't tell me he loved me either," I admitted. I'd been rather glad he hadn't told me but since I'd known my own feelings I'd prefer him to tell me his first.

"But you know he does." It wasn't a question. I narrowed my eyes at her. Her Gift was much more intrusive than Edward's mind reading and I felt uncomfortable that she knew so much about me. Alice must have sensed my discomfort because she reached her hand and touched my forearm. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just can't help it."

"I know, Alice, it's just… uh…" I threw my hands into the air. "I don't know if I ever get used to this."

"I'm sorry," Alice said again, looking sincere and sad. "I really want us to be friends and if I seem too… pushy, I'll try to - "

"No, it's okay," I interrupted her. "We _are_ friends, Alice." She beamed at me, relief clear in her face. "Just… ease up a little, okay?"

"Okay." She grinned, bouncing in her seat. I had to laugh, she looked like a five-year-old in front of a Christmas tree. Then she suddenly turned serious again. I shook my head, not understanding her fast mood swings.

"What now?"

She bit her lower lip in a very human fashion, looking nervous. "There's something else. And it's about Edward too." Then she started to speak so fast that I had to concentrate to catch it all. "And I know I said I wouldn't be pushy and I don't want to pressure you but you have to know and don't tell anyone and… I'm sorry."

I blinked several times, gaping at her. "What?"

She took a deep, relaxing breath and reached to take my hands in both of hers. "Sorry about that. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous." She smiled weakly. "I'm going to tell you something but you have to promise you won't tell anyone. Not even Edward. _Especially_ not him."

I nodded, starting to feel slight panic building in my stomach.

"I know Edward told you all about the night when James came for you," she started and I nodded again. "When Victoria escaped, I had a vision that she would attack you." I knew that too so I nodded for her to continue. "Edward took off after her before it could happen but then… I had another vision." Alice closed her eyes tightly.

"What vision, Alice?" I whispered urgently.

"He decided right then…" She looked like she was about to cry and I squeezed her hands. "I saw that if you… if something happened to you… if you died." She paused, sniffing. "He would seek death too."

" _What_?!" I squeeked, causing several people to look our direction. I lowered my voice a little. "What are you saying, Alice? He wants to kill himself?"

I couldn't believe it. This was just a dream or some stupid joke because why would Edward want to kill himself when I died? I knew he loved me but this was ridiculous. He was immortal, he would live forever even after I died. I wasn't that important. I wasn't worth it.

"Bella? Bella!" I heard a distant voice calling my name and then something cold touched my forehead. "Calm down, Bella, please."

Then I felt something being pushed into my hands. I blinked, staring at the bottle of water I was clutching. "Come on, Bella." Alice's voice again – yes, it had been Alice before, too. I was being pulled to my feet and led out of the café into the crowdy space outside. Alice then gently dragged me to a quiet corner near the toilets with a couple of bean bags where she lowered me down into one.

"Drink," she ordered, opening the bottle quickly. I obediently took a draught, feeling slightly better. "I knew it would happen but I still hoped you would be able to control it," Alice muttered, sitting into the other bean bag next to me. "I'm sorry, Bella."

I sniffed and Alice took my hands again. "But why, Alice? Why would he want to do that?"

She moved her bean bag even closer to me and put her arm around my shoulders. "You know," she said quietly. "If something happened to Jasper, I would do the same." My eyes snapped to her face but she went on before I could protest. "Bella, first you have to understand vampire nature. We spend years, decades, some of us even centuries, looking for our mate. And when we find them, that's it. There would be no other person a vampire could fall in love with. So when our mate dies, there's nothing left. Then we have two choices. Spending eternity alone with neverending grief and misery, or just end it. Many seek revenge first but then they choose death too."

I remembered Victoria and how crazy she'd been after James' death. Edward had told me that she'd basically asked him to kill her or she wouldn't have stopped until she got her revenge.

"What can I do?" I whispered, leaning into Alice's embrace. I could feel people staring as they passed us but I couldn't bring myself to care.

Alice was quiet for about a minute and when I looked up I could see her eyes were glazed again. Then she blinked and gave me a sad smile. "There's really only one thing you can do, Bella."

I raised my eyebrows, not really understanding what she'd meant. "I'm human, Alice. I will die eventually." I would live longer thanks to magic but I was still mortal. Suddenly it hit me like a freight train. It was so simple and yet so scary. As I thought about it, I realized that it had been in the back of my mind for quite some time now, only I'd been too scared to really think about it. "I have to become like him." My voice was barely louder than my breathing but I knew she'd heard me.

"You don't have to do anything," Alice said, shaking her head. I frowned but she went on. "Yes, that is the only solution but Bella, it must be _your_ choice. No one can force you into becoming like us." She paused, sighing. "Actually, even without my visions I'm pretty sure that Edward will try to talk you out of it."

"He doesn't want me to become a vampire?" I said the last word in whisper.

Alice smiled, shaking her head. "That's something you have to discuss with him." I opened my mouth to argue but she stopped me before I could say a word. "There's something else I want to tell you about my brother."

"There's more?" I groaned. "Okay, it can't be worse than him wanting to kill himself. What is it?"

"First, you mustn't tell him what I'm about to say now. He would rip my head off." She grimaced. "Promise me, Bella. Please?"

I wanted to roll my eyes. Like Edward would ever hurt her. But just to humor her I said, "I promise I won't tell him."

She looked relieved, probably already seeing that I would keep my word.

"Good. Thank you." She smiled briefly. "Now, I really shouldn't be telling you this but I have the feeling it's the only way to stop him from doing something really, really stupid."

My eyes went wide. "More stupid than killing himself?"

"In a way, yes." She hurried with explanation. "If he killed himself it would only affect the family. It would be really bad and I don't think things would ever be the same."

I sensed a but coming. "But?"

"But it wouldn't concern you since you'd be dead by then."

"So the really, really stupid thing would?" I was getting tired and therefore my sarcastic side made an appearance. I didn't want to think about Edward's death or even mine without risking another panic attack.

Alice narrowed her eyes at me but continued calmly. "Yes. He's thinking about leaving." I suddenly lost the strength to form coherent words or even thoughts so I just stared at her blankly. "He hasn't decided on when, yet, so I can't give you a fair warning but I do see him leaving at some point. I think he waits for something to happen that would prompt him to do it." She sighed frustratingly. "I can't see what it is. "

I finally found the ability to speak. "But…why?"

"I can't see the reasons behind someone's decisions, Bella."

I sighed, burying my face into my hands. I didn't get it. Why would Edward think about leaving? If he didn't want me to be like him, then I would think he would want to spend as much time with me as possible. It simply didn't make sense to me. I raised my head, looking at Alice, who was watching me with a sad expression.

"Why can't I just talk to him about it now, Alice? You know he wouldn't really hurt you."

"Maybe not physically, but it would be bad enough to make Jasper defend me," she said sadly. "They would get into a fight and, Bella, it wouldn't be a friendly fight."

"So what do we do? There must be something we can do."

She just shrugged. "We have to wait."

"That's it?"

"Yes, that's it." Seeing my expression, she explained. "Now that you know about it you won't be surprised when it happens. I'll be watching him more closely now and maybe I'll be able to catch something and warn you in time."

"But he can read your thoughts, Alice. You can't hide them from him all the time," I pointed out sceptically.

Alice smirked. "He spends most of the time with you anyway and the rest I just won't think about it. Don't worry, I know how to keep him out of my head."

I laughed despite myself. Esme had said almost the same words to me once.

"Now," said Alice, standing up and reaching out to me to help me to my feet, "we're going to do some shopping!" She was back to her normal self, apparently.

I groaned, letting her lift me up. "Aren't we supposed to meet Angela and Esme?"

"Please, Bella." Alice rolled her eyes dramaticaly. "We still have almost an hour left." Then she hesitated and turned to face me. "Remember what I said. Don't tell Edward about what we talked about and do tell him about your feelings. As soon as possible."

I nodded. "Okay." I started thinking of a way to tell him. Maybe tomorrow, after I'd spend enough time with Charlie, I could ask Edward to take me to the meadow –

"Tomorrow is going to rain all day," Alice interrupted my planning, dragging me into an underwear store. I stopped in my tracks, glaring at her back. She turned around to face me and shrugged. "Just trying to be helpful."

I grudgingly had to admit that the information actually was helpful. "What do you suggest, then?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Why not do it today?" She waved her hand casually, proceeding to the nearest hangers with sets of bras and panties of various kinds – most of them lacy and too sexy for my taste - and started skimming through them with her skilled fingers.

"Um… it's going to be dark outside when we get back," I pointed out. It was already nearly half past two and it was three-hour drive to Forks even with Alice behind the wheel.

"I'm sure you're going to think of something," she smiled at me brightly and threw at me at least three pairs of lacy underwear.

* * *

When we finally got to the Cullen house, it was nearly seven and the sky was pitch dark. I doubted that Edward would want us to go to the meadow at this time but Alice had been trying to convince me that I should at least suggest it to him. At last I just shrugged, thinking that it wouldn't hurt to ask him. Esme and Angela had been throwing us curious glances but fortunately they didn't ask what all of this was about. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell them but at the same time it felt somewhat private and it was enough that Alice knew.

Edward was waiting for us on the porch, his elbows resting on the wooden railing, As soon as Alice parked he was beside my door, opening it for me. He pulled me out of the car and into his arms, causing the backpack I had been holding to drop on the ground, and buried his face into my hair.

"I missed you," he breathed out and inhaled my scent.

From the corner of my eye I could see Esme vanishing inside the house. Alice honked impatiently. She was supposed to drive Angela home and we were still standing between the open door and the backseat. Edward pulled away slightly and rolled his eyes but then he lifted me a few inches off the ground and stepped back. My arms were still wrapped around his neck so my feet were literally swinging in the air. He finally kicked the door closed so Alice could drive away.

When we were alone at last, he kissed me without putting me down on my feet. We kissed for several minutes, exchanging light kisses between longer, more sensual, though still closed-mouthed ones. It was probably the longest kissing session in all the time I'd known him. I barely resisted the urge to wrap my legs around his waist and it was only the thought that other members of his family – namely Emmett – might be watching us that kept me from actually doing it.

We were both panting when he finally put me down, resting his forehead against mine.

"Wow," I mumbled when I caught my breath.

He chuckled. "I told you I'd missed you." Frowning slightly he added, "I'll never let Alice drag you away for that long again."

"It's been just eleven hours," I said with a small giggle. Edward just shrugged and took my hand, picking up my backpack from the ground with the other. Just as he took the first step toward the front steps, I remembered my original plan. I tugged at his hand. "Edward?"

"Yes?" He stopped and looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

I bit my lower lip, wondering how to begin. Then I grinned as the idea sprang into my mind. I straightened myself and asked, "What's your plan for tonight?"

He looked puzzled but curious. "I was planning on spending it with my girlfriend." I felt my cheeks heat up. He'd never actually called me his girlfriend before. "Do you have something particular on your mind?"

"Actually, I do." I cleared my throat before saying, „Edward Cullen, would you go on a date with me?"

He blinked in surprise but then he let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back. I blushed even more but I somehow knew he wasn't laughing _at_ me. He suddenly stopped laughing, probably sensing my discomfort. "I'm sorry, you just surprised me. So you're asking me out? Shouldn't I be the one doing this?"

I shrugged, trying to ignore the fact that he still hadn't given me an answer. "Well, you know… it's the twenty-first century – emancipation and all that."

He chuckled, pulling me in his arms. "I'd love going on a date with you, Bella," he whispered in my ear. Then he tilted his head, curiousity now clearly written on his face. "Where are we going?"

"Well," I said, suddenly feeling shy, "since it's too late to actually drive somewhere and I want us to be alone… there's just one place that comes to my mind."

"The meadow," he said, smiling widely. Then his smile faded a little. "But it is too dark, Bella. There's no light in the meadow at this time."

I grinned teasingly. "Are you afraid, Edward? I promise I'll protect you."

He rolled his eyes and before I could blink I was on his back. Edward handed me my backpack which I slung over my shoulders and then we were off.

After what seemed like ten minutes of running I knew we were close to the meadow. Since my eyes had adjusted to the darkness in the woods, I was able to spot the thinning of the trees in time. Edward had been gradually slowing down so now he was just jogging, still in much higher speed than the fastest human.

"Stop right here," I whispered in his ear right before he stepped into the meadow.

He did as I asked and lowered me on the ground. I stepped around him so I could look into his face. I'd had perfected my plan while we'd been running through the forest and now I only hoped Edward would play along.

"Now, close your eyes and wait here," I ordered and raised on my tiptoes to kiss kim. He kissed me back but I could feel his smile against my lips. He then closed his eyes and stood still like a statue. "No cheating," I added sternly. I couldn't see his face properly in the darkness but I heard a low chuckle escaping his lips.

I turned around and stepped into the meadow, pulling my wand out of the backpack. Lighting it up, I walked into the middle of the grassy circle where I put the backpack on the ground and opened it. I pulled out a red and white blanket Alice had had the foresight to buy today and spread it on the ground. The ground was dry, it hadn't rained for three days, but it was still cold so the blanket was a great idea. Then I slowly turned around, wondering which way was the forest least dense. It was hard to see even in the light from my wand and I didn't want Edward's help. He was still standing where I'd left him but I couldn't see if his eyes were still closed. _I'll find out soon enough_ , I smiled to myself and started making my way to the trees that looked more sparse.

"Where are you going?" Edward's voice said behind me but when I glanced at him he was still in the same spot.

"I told you not to cheat," I replied with a sigh but kept walking into the trees.

"I don't have to see to know you're going into the forest, Bella." Of course, he could still hear me perfectly. I gritted my teeth, cursing my own stupidity. Fortunatelly Edward still hadn't moved to stop me so I made a few more steps. I stopped walking when I saw exactly what I needed. Tree branches and twigs were laying under the trees, some of them too long but with a little work they would do.

Using my wand I gathered a decent pile of firewood which I sent flying in the air. It landed just where I wanted it – several feet from the blanket. The same way I collected some stones and sent them to the same spot as the firewood.

I returned to the blanket and after a few more minutes of wordless wand waving, which was a great way of practicing non-verbal magic I realized, I made a small campfire. There was still enough firewood left so we wouldn't have to leave for a few hours.

There was only one thing left. Reaching into the backpack I pulled out the iPod Esme had lent me when I had started with meditation to calm my mind. I had packed it at one point so I could use it when I was at home but then I forgot about it and it stayed in the backpack. I'd just remembered it on our way here and thought it would be perfect for our date.

I chose slow classical music I knew Edward liked and placed the iPod carefully on the edge of the blanket, pressing play. As the first tones filled the meadow I straightened up and turned to face Edward.

"You can open your eyes, Edward," I murmured, suddenly feeling anxious. What if he didn't like it or thought it wasn't enough?

I watched as he slowly approached me, the flames illuminating his handsome features. A gentle smile was playing on his lips and his eyes were sparkling in the light of the fire. He stopped right in front of me. "This is nice," he said quietly and stooped to kiss my forehead.

"You like it?" I breathed out, relieved. "It's not much and I know you could probably guess what I was doing anyway but – "

He kissed me again, this time on my mouth to shut me up. "It's perfect," he murmured against my lips. After a while he pulled away and looked straight into my eyes, tilting his head. "Is there a reason behind this?"

I bit my lip, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Actually, there is." I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and said, "I want to tell you something."

Edward's body tensed under my arms and his smile faded. "Tell me what?"

"It's nothing bad," I assured him quickly and immediately I felt him relax a little. "It's just that I…" Damn, it was harder that I thought.

"You what?"

"I… I love you," I said, my eyes fixed on his chest.

There was a few seconds of silence. "I know."

My eyes snapped to his face. He was smiling crookedly at me, looking amused. "What? How?"

"Bella, did you know you talk in your sleep?" He was clearly enjoying himself.

I groaned, dropping my head against Edward's chest. Yes I knew I talked in my sleep. Ginny had been making fun of me about it for five years. But I'd never even thought about it since I'd arrived in Forks.

"God, this is embarrassing," I mumbled.

I felt his finger under my chin and he slowly lifted my head so I would look at him. "Don't be embarrassed, sweetheart. It's nice to finally hear it when you're conscious." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest, resting his chin on the top of my head. "You're everything to me, Bella."

I closed my eyes with a smile, breathing in his scent, as he started swaying us slowly to the music. I was determined to never let him go.


	6. Apparition

**Chapter six**

Our date was perfect. We swayed to the music for some time and after that we sat on the blanket and talked about what we had been doing today. Of course I left out my talk with Alice but other than that I told him everything. In return, Edward told me about his day with his brothers. They'd spent most of the day playing videogames, which Edward enjoyed for some time but then he got bored and spent the rest of the afternoon playing the piano.

Then we lay down and stared at the sky, which was surprisingly clear. Edward tried to show off by naming the stars but I'd had Astronomy at Hogwarts so I wasn't that easily impressed. He pouted playfully, nudging my shoulder gently with his.

The fire kept me warm for quite a long time but when it was nearly eleven we decided to go home. I was hungry, the last meal I'd had was a sandwich at a gas station about halfway from Seattle, so we packed the blanket and iPod and put out the fire. I wanted to put the meadow to its original state but Edward told me to leave it like that, at least for now.

I'd already sent a message to Charlie that I'd be late so he didn't have to wait for me. When we got home the house was quiet, the only sounds were the humming of the fridge in the kitchen and a slight snoring from Charlie's room. There was a familiar smell coming from the kitchen and when we got there I switched the light on and saw a pizza box on the table. A small note laid on top of the box and Edward laughed out loud as he read it. He handed the note to me and I giggled. It said _You're welcome. A._

"I think I'm in love with Alice," I said with a happy sigh and opened the box. It didn't surprise me that it was my favourite kind – pepperoni with extra cheese. It was still hot so Alice must have been here not so long ago. I wondered if Charlie had let her in or if she'd sneaked in through the window.

"Should I be jealous?" said Edward with a grin and moved to sit down.

"Definitely." I grinned back and took one slice of pizza. It tasted delicious but I noticed that Edward wrinkled his nose. I knew human food smelled bad to vampires so I suggested he waited for me in my room. He refused, saying he didn't mind the smell that much.

After I finished eating, I cleaned the kitchen and went to take the shower while Edward waited for me in my room. When I entered the room, he was laying on my bed, ankles crossed and his hands behind his head. He smiled and reached out his hand to me. I took it and he pulled me to him so I was laying on his chest. I giggled and he rolled us over so we laid on our sides, facing each other.

"Thank you for tonight, Bella," Edward said, his face turning serious.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." I shrugged, snuggling closer to his chest, and wrapped my arm around his waist.

"I did. You have no idea how much." I didn't see his expression because I had my face pressed against his chest but I could hear the smile in his voice. I smiled too and felt his lips touching my forehead.

"What else did I say in my sleep?" I asked to keep myself awake. I felt exhausted but I didn't want this night to end yet.

He was quiet for a few seconds and then said, "My name." He paused and added, "A lot." I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat up. "You miss your friends in Britain. And your mom." That surprised me. I didn't think about Renee that often. "But mostly it's unintelligible."

"Even to your superears?"

He chuckled. "Even to my superears."

I couldn't suppress the yawn and that ended our conversation because Edward ordered me to sleep. Just before falling asleep, I realized that Edward had never told me he loved me back. But it didn't really matter. I knew he did love me. He proved it with everything he did. With these thoughts I drifted to sleep.

* * *

I wanted to spend the Sunday with Charlie so in the morning Edward kissed me goodbye and left. I sighed. I did look forward to spending some time with my dad but hated being away from my boyfriend. I knew it wasn't for too long though. Yesterday in Seattle Esme had invited me and Charlie for dinner tonight. She wanted to cook for us without my help and was quite excited about it. She'd invited Angela as well but Amelia would be at work today so Angela would have to be at home with her brothers.

When I walked in the kitchen, Charlie was sitting at the table with a mug of coffee in one hand and a fishing magazine in front of him. While I was making scrambled eggs for breakfast, I told him about Esme's invitation. He was surprised but otherwise seemed pleased.

After breakfast we moved to the living room. Charlie turned on the tv but it only served as a background. I asked him about the Clearwater's and the funeral, since I'd barely seen him since Friday morning. It had taken place in La Push so the whole tribe had been there including the Blacks. Billy had indeed come to visit Charlie yesterday, bringing with him not just Jacob but also Sam Uley and his new girlfriend.

"They were acting a little weird," Charlie said with a frown. "I think Sam was suspicious, he kept glancing at the ceiling and looking around a lot. But I swear I'd aired the whole house out just like Edward and Alice told me to." He looked around uneasily, like he was afraid that Sam might jump inside through the window any minute. Suddenly he narrowed his eyes at me. "You promised an explanation." He pointed his finger at me accusingly.

"Edward did, not me," I corrected him.

"But you know what's going on too."

I bit my lip nervously. It wasn't that I was afraid that Charlie would freak out. He was used to the weird things in my life by now. Revealing someone else's secret without their permission was another matter altogether.

"I think we should wait when we're at the Cullens, Dad," I said slowly. Charlie frowned again but fortunatelly agreed with a nod.

* * *

I used the fireplace to get to the Cullens while Charlie took his cruiser. He was supposed to be at work for a night shift tonight, covering for one of his officers who had requested a few days off.

Edward was waiting for me in front of the Cullen's fireplace so when I climbed out I stumbled right into his arms. I lifted myself on my tiptoes to kiss him and felt him smiling against my lips.

"Hello," he muttered softly.

"Hi."

Right then Edward sighed. I raised my eyebrows and he explained. "I think you should clean our clothes…" He gestured towards his formerly white shirt that was now covered with ashes in several places from my pressing myself to him. I glanced around him and saw Alice standing at the bottom of the staircase with her arms crossed, glaring at us. I rolled my eyes and pulled my wand out of my handbag, taking care of this clearly very offensive matter.

When Charlie arrived about five minutes later, Esme led us to the kitchen. She said she'd first thought about seating us in the dining room but then she'd changed her mind, thinking the table in there is too long for just two people. I inwardly thanked her for that. It would be pretty awkward especially if the rest of the family decided to watch us eat.

The dinner looked delicious even though Esme seemed a little nervous. I smiled at her encouragingly before sitting down in a chair that Edward had pulled out for me. I smiled at him and turned to my dad who had been watching us. He nodded approvingly at Edward and sat down too.

Esme then served us lasagna which she knew was one of my favourite meals and one that we'd practiced a few times. It tasted great and Charlie even asked for seconds. Then she brought the dessert – an amazingly looking and equally amazingly smelling apple pie.

After dinner Carlisle, who had been keeping us company while we ate, took us to the living room where the rest of the family were watching TV or were engaged in other activities. He offered Charlie a beer and we all sat down. I leaned into Edward's side and he put an arm around my shoulders. I was feeling bloated and a little drowsy – the dinner was really delicious.

"So, Charlie," started Carlisle, who was sitting in one of the armchairs opposite us, "I've heard that you wanted to know about the Quileutes."

"Well, yeah," Charlie said, taking a swig of his beer. "Bella already told me a little but I'm sure there is more." He paused, his eyes flitting between Edward and Alice. "I had to air out the whole house yesterday before the Blacks and Sam Uley came for the visit. And I want to know why."

Carlisle looked at Edward and there seemed to be a silent conversation going on between the two of them. I heard Emmett clear his throat impatiently; I knew he hated when someone communicated with Edward that way. I chuckled quietly and it seemed to bring Carlisle's attention back to Charlie.

"It's complicated, Charlie," he said, leaning forward on his elbows. "You have to understand that they trust us not to reveal their secret." Charlie started saying something but Carlisle put his hand up to stop him. "I know you're in on our and Bella's secrets and that we can trust you not to tell anybody but we have to be sure that you manage not to slip in front of the Quileutes either."

"You have my word," Charlie said, straightening himself up in his seat.

Carlisle nodded shortly. "Alright then. Some of the members of the Quileute tribe have some kind of magic in them that enables them to transform into big wolves."

Charlie's eyes popped out. "Like werewolves?"

"No, Dad," I cut in and he turned to me. "More like shapeshifters. They don't need the full moon for the transformation."

"They serve as protectors of the tribe," said Edward. "Most of the Quileutes don't even know about their ability or about vampires."

"Protectors against what?" asked Charlie.

"Vampires," said Edward.

"They can kill you?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

Dad was quiet for some time, looking thoughtful, occasionally sipping from his beer. Then he looked up at Carlisle again. "Are they dangerous? I mean, I know you said they are protectors but… " He paused, looking uncomfortable. "… I saw some very ugly scars on Emily's face and if Sam is one of them…" He turned to Edward now. "… is he one of them?" After Edward's nod, Charlie continued. "Well, it makes me think that the scars are not from a bear attack like they said." He finished with a shrug.

Again it was Edward who answered. "They can be. Especially when they're young and new to the shape shifting, they are unpredictable and quick to anger."

I shuddered. I didn't know about the violent nature of young wolves or about Emily, who I guessed was Sam's girlfriend. I wondered why would she want to be with a man who had hurt her. Charlie's next question brought me out of my thoughts.

"How many of them are there?"

"Three so far, at least that we know of."

"I think Jacob might be one of them soon," I piped up. Charlie looked at me with wide eyes and I hurriedly explained what Jake had told me last time I'd seen him, which was nearly a month ago, about how Billy seemed like he couldn't wait for Jacob to join the "gang", as he'd called it.

"Hmm," said Charlie thoughtfully. "It seems like he's been growing up a lot recently. Does it have anything to do with it?"

I could see Edward and Carlisle exchanging another look and then Carlisle said, "Yes, we believe that it's one of the first signs of impending transformation."

Charlie was quiet again for a few minutes and then said, "Thank you for telling me. I promise I won't tell them that I know."

"We appreciate it, Charlie," said Carlisle with a grateful smile.

There was a short silence after the topic was over but then Emmett apparently thought it was time for some fun. At least what he thought was funny.

"Hey, Bella, have you ever seen a real werewolf?"

I groaned internally. He had to choose this moment to ask this question, when not only my overprotective boyfriend but also my dad were present. Emmett was watching me eagerly and I could feel Edward squeezing my shoulder a little. I chose not to look at Charlie but I felt all the eyes in the room on me.

"Um… yeah," I mumbled and took a deep breath. Why not just tell them everything? At least there would be one less thing to keep from them. "Actually, one of my teachers at Hogwarts was one."

Silence. And then…

" _What?!"_ Both Edward and Charlie said at the same time. Edward turned me around to face him and I saw an incredulous look on his face. "They let a werewolf teach at a school?"

I rolled my eyes and looked at Charlie whose face was getting dangerously red. "Calm down, you two. Lupin is one of the kindest men I've ever met. It's not really his fault that he's a werewolf."

"Lupin?" said Jasper, who had been sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall with Alice perched between his legs with her back against his chest. "Wasn't he one of the men on the radio?"

"Yep, that's him." Seeing Charlie's confused expression I realized I'd never really told him about the Potterwatch, so I quickly explained it to him. When I finished, he frowned a little and nodded, now looking a little calmer. Then I looked around. "Lupin's a good guy. He's in the Order, helping fighting You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters."

"Still, had I known one of your teachers was a werewolf, I wouldn't have let you go back," grumbled Charlie.

I sighed. "Yeah, that's actually why he was our teacher for just one year. The word got out to the parents about his condition and he had to quit. He's been unemployed ever since." I'd always thought it was unfair and hated that some people treated others badly for things that weren't their fault.

"But surely, not all werewolves are good," pointed out Edward, who had finally calmed a little too.

"They're not. Some of them are really evil," I admitted, thinking of Fenrir Greyback, one of the foulest creatures that I knew of.

Charlie checked his watch and stood up heavily. "I have to go." Then he looked at me with a speculative expression but before he could say something else Alice jumped to her feet.

"Hey, Charlie, why doesn't Bella stay here tonight? You're not going to be home anyway and we could have a movie night together!"

Charlie's face lit up and he beamed at Alice. "That's a great idea, Alice." He turned to me and there was a relief clear on his face. "You want to stay, Bells?"

"Sure, if it's okay with Carlisle and Esme…" I said with a shrug. They both seemed delighted so it was settled. I felt a little disappointed actually. I'd been looking forward to spending the night with Edward in an empty house and hoped that maybe we could start exploring the physical side of our relationship a little. I noticed that Jasper smirked at me and heard Edward chuckle. I frowned. Sometimes I really hated their Gifts.

* * *

Alice decided to educate me in the romantic comedy genre, or rom-com as she called it, so we watched both Bridget Jones's Diary movies. I didn't find it particularly good but it wasn't that bad either. There were some good moments and I spent the evening snuggled against Edward's side so it was a plus. Also the way his hand kept slowly tracing up and down my arm was quite enjoyable.

Later when I was changed in my pyjamas (Alice had gone to my house to get it for me earlier – on foot, she still refused to use the fireplace) and laying in Edward's huge bed, the feeling of disappointment from earlier was back. I wondered why had Charlie suddenly wanted me to stay here when he knew that Edward had been staying in my room nearly every night for the last month. Maybe he'd felt he was somehow in control of our activities while he was at home. I snorted. I'd been regurarly putting the Muffliato spell on my door so he wouldn't hear anything even if he didn't usually fall asleep about a second after he got in bed.

Edward lifted an eyebrow at me, as usual curious about what had been going on in my silent mind. He climbed on the bed and sat next to me, pulling me into his arms. "What are you thinking about?" he asked and I smiled to myself.

"Why did Charlie want me to stay here so badly? He knew you'd have stayed with me at home so I wouldn't have been alone anyway," I asked innocently.

He laughed quietly, kissing my temple. "I don't think he trusts me that much," he said quietly, probably aware of some potential eavesdroppers. "Even though I can't hear his thoughts, I guess that sometimes he just likes to pretend that we are normal teenagers." I felt him shrug.

"I didn't think of that," I said with a slight frown. Okay, I could do that. I could give my dad a small resemblance of normalcy. God knows he hadn't had much of it lately.

* * *

The next few days passed very quickly. Tuesday afternoon there was another lesson with Toby. We covered a few more defensive spells and he told me that in the next lesson, which was supposed to be on Friday, he'd want me to try to apparate on my own.

I was terrified and at the same time I couldn't wait. I was sure that it would take a while before I would be able to succesfully apparate and that I'd have to be patient. That calmed my nerves a bit.

On Thursday afternoon I caught Edward talking to Alice in a hushed voice. I didn't understand what it was about and as soon as they noticed me he stopped. When I asked what it was about, they both just shrugged and smiled at me.

"Nothing to worry about, Bella," Edward said and put his arm around my shoulders, leading me to the kitchen to help me find a snack. I didn't feel like arguing with him right now and soon I forgot about it.

I remembered it again in the evening when I lay in bed with my head on Edward's shoulder.

"What were you and Alice talking about earlier?" I asked, looking up at his face.

He glanced at me and then stared at the wall opposite me, looking thoughtful. I waited patiently, giving him time to think. Then he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alice keeps having these flashes of visions," he said, dropping his head against the headboard. "It's nothing specific and it usually takes a fraction of a second. Sometimes there's Jasper's face followed by a scream but it's gone so quickly that we can't make out what it means." He looked at me then, pulling me closer to his chest. "We think that there might be an accident at school but we don't know when."

I frowned. I knew that if there was an accident like this that the Cullens would have to act quickly to cover it up and quite possibly leave the town before people got suspicious. "You can prevent it, right?" I asked anxiously. "Like keep him form school until the danger's over or something."

He shrugged. "Maybe. We have to discuss it with Carlisle. And with Jasper as well. He won't be happy about it. He hates feeling weak."

* * *

For the whole Friday I'd been on pins and needles, not able to stay still or concentrate on anything important. I knew it wasn't such a big deal but I'd been waiting for this day for ages and now when it was here I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Nervous, excited, scared. I knew it was like learning any other spell but to me it was like learning to drive. Apparition would give me even more independence and also the idea of being faster that the Cullens excited me.

Charlie wanted to come and watch but he got stuck at work and called he wouldn't make it. In a way I was glad. I was already nervous and with my dad here it would be even worse.

Toby arrived at five like he'd said. His appearance surprised me. He looked tired and his mood wasn't as cheerful as usual. When Esme asked if everything was alright he just said that he'd had a bad day at work but that everything was okay now.

"So, Bella, are you ready for your first try?" Toby asked me, putting a smile on his face.

"I guess." I shrugged. I looked around and noticed the others had all gathered in the living room, ready to watch. Alice had been unusually quiet all afternoon and I remembered what Edward had told me last night. I glanced at Jasper and he was watching his wife intensely, a slight frown on his face. I didn't know if they'd talked to Carlisle yet but now I didn't have time to think about it.

The others went outside to get the best watching spots, as Emmett said jokingly, while Toby and I stayed inside for a while longer, going through the apparation rules. He gave me a few tips and also suggested to put a protective charm around at least a part of the clearing, just in case.

Once we were in the clearing, Toby conjured a ball of light that he sent up in the air, so I would see where I was supposed to apparate, and cast a shield charm around half of the backyard. It didn't cover all of it since neither of us really expected I'd succeed today.

I glanced around at the others. They were standing outside the shield and were spread around in little groups, usually couples stood together only Edward was leaning against the wall not far from Alice and Jasper. He smiled at me encouragingly but then he slightly frowned at the back of Alice's head. Right then Toby called my name and I turned back to him, pushing Edward out of my mind for now.

"Now, Bella, you will try to apparate here." He pointed at a rock about ten feet from me. "As you know, people don't usually manage it on their first try and it takes a lot of practice to perfect it. So don't be disappointed if nothing happens today. Okay?"

I nodded, my eyes fixed on the small rock in front of me. I closed my eyes, picturing the rock in my head, and took a deep breath. Without further thinking I turned on the spot and…

… nearly fell on my butt. I somehow managed not to actually fall so I ended up waving my arms around wildly, feeling like an idiot. I heard chuckles from behind me and Emmett's booming laughter and my face burned with embarrassment. I decided to ignore them and straightened up my shoulders, facing the rock with new determination.

I tried again. And again. And again. Toby stepped in occasionally to give me more suggestions and I took his advice seriously. After half an hour I started to feel exhausted.

"Let's call it a day, Bella," said Toby, checking his watch.

"One more time."

He nodded and I once more closed my eyes, imagining the rock. The exhaustion started taking its toll on me because instead of the rock, an image of Edward's face came to my mind. I lifted my leg to make the turn.

Half of a second later I heard a scream.

Before I could open my eyes to find out what was wrong, my body suddenly jerked and I felt like I was being squeezed into an inch wide pipe. It took only a few seconds and I felt the ground under my feet again.

But something didn't feel right.

There were loud noises around me, screams mixed with growls. I didn't understand the words that were being shouted. My balance was off somehow and one of my feet felt strange. I snapped my eyes open and thought I'd ended up in a horror movie.

Jasper's face was mere inches from mine, looking wild and scary. His eyes were pitch black and he was baring his teeth at me, growling loudly. He was held back by Edward and Emmett but Edward looked to be in a similar wild state as Jasper and Emmett's lips were pressed into a line.

I opened my mouth to ask what had happened but right at that moment a sharp pain shot from my right ankle. I gasped and looked down.

It had seemed like ages but only a few seconds must have passed. The whole time I'd been balancing on one foot because the other was missing and I was standing in a pool of blood.

Somehow I must have apparated outside the protective circle, I realized.

And then I passed out.

 **A/N: Sorry about the cliffhanger. I promise I'll try to write the next chapter as quickly as possible ;)**


	7. Decisions

**Chapter seven**

I was slipping in and out of consciousness for an immeasurable amount of time.

"Get him out of here!" someone shouted.

"… call Amelia!"

"Get it here, quickly!"

I felt that I was being lifted and moved and another sharp pain shot through my ankle and I heard a scream. It might even have been me, I wasn't sure.

Some time later some liquid was forced through my lips and I was laid down on a soft surface. I heard soft, calming voices talking to me but yet again I couldn't make out what they said. The pain slowly subsided and I heard nothing else.

* * *

The first thing I was aware of was someone's presence not far from me. But I wasn't feeling scared. On the contrary, a pleasant wave of calm was flooding my body. I didn't feel like opening my eyes yet. I'd had some strange dreams. There were screams and blood in them but I couldn't make sense of it. I frowned, trying to remember more.

Something cool briefly touched my shoulder and I sighed. Why didn't Edward let me go back to sleep? I knew he could tell when I wasn't sleeping but I didn't have to get up early anymore.

"Bella?"

I frowned again. I knew this voice but it didn't belong to Edward. Or Charlie. I opened my eyes and blinked in surprise.

"Jasper?" I croaked. My throat was dry so I cleared it and lifted myself on my elbows. "What… what are you doing here? Where's Edward?"

Then I looked closer at him.

Jasper was crouching beside my bed but he kept his distance. He watched me anxiously, his face looking somber and… guilty?

I heard faint voices from downstairs that were growing louder.

"… here? I can't believe it!"

"No, Charlie! Please, he needs to do it. He won't hurt her," pleaded another voice, female this time. I recognized it as Alice's.

I frowned again, utterly confused. I turned back to Jasper who had been looking intently at the door. The voices downstairs became more quiet again, so I couldn't understand what was being said anymore.

"Are you calming my dad?" I asked.

Jasper nodded. "It's necessary. He's too upset, he wouldn't let me do it." He said the last few words in a whisper.

"Do – " I started to ask when I was aware of a strange sensation in my right ankle. I threw away the comforter and my eyebrows shot up. My foot was wrapped in white bandages.

I gasped as the memories began coming back. I blinked, the image of Jasper's wild face flooding my vision.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Jasper said in a strained voice. "What I did was inexcusable. I won't hurt you, I promise," he added quickly.

I couldn't deny it, I was a little scared. But I could see the sincerity in his eyes so I said, "It's okay, Jasper. It wasn't your fault." I closed my eyes, remembering what had probably caused this whole situation. "It was mine. I was too tired, I shouldn't have insisted on the last try."

Even before I finished speaking, Jasper had been shaking his head. "No, Bella. I nearly killed you. I'm sure I would have if my brothers hadn't stopped me."

I shuddered internally, avoiding his eyes. My gaze fell on my injured leg. Apparently, my ankle had been reattached but I couldn't see how bad it looked because of the bandages. Also, I just realized that I didn't even know how long I had been out of it.

"What time it is anyway?" I muttered, trying to change the subject, and glanced at the alarm clock on my bedside table. It was after 4pm. I frowned.

"It's Saturday," said Jasper. "You were sleeping for about 22 hours." Then I heard him take a deep breath but he immediately hissed and when I looked back at him, I noticed that he'd moved to the slightly open window, breathing in the fresh air.

"Are you okay?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.

"Yes, I'm fine." He nodded but stayed by the window. "Listen Bella. There's another reason why I and Alice are here. It's about Edward," he said cautiously.

"Yeah. Where is he?" I had been wondering about Edward for the whole time I'd been speaking to Jasper. It was strange that he wasn't here. I'd thought he'd want to be with me at a time like this.

"Bella, he's… " He paused, clearly not sure how to continue. I waited with raised eyebrows. "He's decided to leave Forks."

I groaned, burying my head into my hands. I wasn't really surprised. Since my talk with Alice a week ago I'd been prepared for this possibility.

"When?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Soon."

I closed my eyes tightly. When I opened them again, Jasper was still standing by the window but his gaze was turned down on the floor. He could probably hear Charlie and Alice talking and judging by his frown, he didn't like what he heard.

"What can we do to stop him?"

He looked back at me, giving me a weak smile. "Alice said that only you might be able to stop him." He took a step toward the bed but then stopped again. "I wouldn't ask this of you," he paused again, gesturing to my injured ankle, "but it seems to be the only option… We have to go see him now, Bella, or it might be late."

"Of course, Jasper." I started to climb out of bed but Jasper took two long steps and stopped a few feet from me, putting up his hand.

"You probably shouldn't step on your foot yet," he warned.

I stopped my movement, having barely managed to pull away the sheets. "Okay, but how am I supposed to get to Edward?"

Closing his eyes, Jasper took another deep breath and winced slightly. When he opened his eyes again there was clear determination written in them. "I'll carry you."

I couldn't stop myself from gaping at him. "But… but…," I stammered after I somehow composed my expression, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Jasper… maybe Alice could do it."

I was half expecting Alice to burst through the door by now but nothing happened. Yet I was sure she must have heard us talking. My eyes snapped back to Jasper who had moved even closer to me, reaching out his hand. As an automatic reaction I flinched slightly away but seeing Jasper's expression made me regret it immediately. He looked guilty again. "Sorry," I muttered.

He lowered his hand and crouched down in front of me. "I swear I won't hurt you, Bella. I'm in full control of my thirst." Then the corners of his lips twitched slightly. "And Alice wouldn't have let me do it if there was any danger."

"Okay." I smiled back at him and allowed him to gently scoop me up in his arms. He held me as far from his body as possible but I knew it wasn't anything personal. I glanced at his face and he gave me a tight but resolved smile. I also noticed he'd stopped breathing.

Before I knew it we were out of the room and down the stairs, heading for the living room where the sound of Charlie's grumbling was coming from. Jasper stopped in the doorway and I could see Alice sitting on the couch with her hands in her lap, watching Charlie pacing in front of her.

"… thought you weren't dangerous. I thought you were protecting her – "

"Dad," I said and he whirrled around, clearly startled. At the sight of me in Jasper's arms his face turned dangerously red.

"YOU!" he yelled, pointing his finger at Jasper. "Put her down at once!" Suddenly his expression began to gradually relax and he lowered his hand. "Stop using your tricks on me." He sounded calmer now but his eyes were still narrowed angrily.

I opened my mouth to say something but Alice shortly shook her head at me and stood up, facing my dad.

"Charlie," she said in a firm voice and crossed her arms. She waited until he begrudgingly looked at her before she continued. "I've already explained everything to you. I'm sure Jasper won't hurt her, besides, she can't step on her foot yet. And no, he can't put her on the couch because we need to get Bella to our house before Edward leaves."

Charlie had crossed his arms too so he was now mimicking Alice's position. "Well, let him do it then. Bella would be better without him. Safer."

I gasped, shocked at what I was hearing. Charlie had always liked Edward. Alice glanced at me but then fixed an angry glare at my dad. "She would definitely not be better without him, Charlie. They would both suffer greatly and trust me, you don't want to see Bella like this."

"She's young. She'll get over it."

"Dad!" I tried again and this time Alice let me speak. Charlie turned to me, still frowning, and I knew it was only thanks to Jasper that he didn't start yelling at me. "I'm going with Alice and Jasper now. We can talk later."

I could see that the firm tone of my voice surprised him but then he gritted his teeth. "We're not done talking about this, Bella," he said but he sounded resigned.

I just nodded and turned my head to Alice. "I can't use the fireplace, Alice," I said, lifting my injured leg a little.

"I know, we'll have to run." Then she ran out of the room and was back in a few seconds, handing me my winter jacket and a pair of thick, red, woolen socks. Jasper put me down just long enough for me to put the clothes on and then took me in his arms again. Alice winked at him and started leading us to the back door. Right at the door she turned around looking at Charlie. "She'll be safe with us, I promise."

* * *

About half a way to the Cullen house Alice lightly touched Jasper's arm and they both stopped running. Jasper had moved me on his back just before we took off, saying it would be more comfortable for him if he had access to fresh air, and apologizing profusely. I didn't mind at all, glad that I could make it somehow easier for him. I still wondered why he'd insisted on carrying me but it was apparently important to him to do it.

"What's wrong, Alice?" I asked, looking around for any sign of danger. Jasper looked calm though so I relaxed too.

"We're just about to reach Edward's hearing range and I have to tell you a few things without the risk of him overhearing us," she said with a small sigh. I raised my eyebrows, nodding for her to go on. "I can see him talking with Carlisle so we still have some time." She frowned slightly, shaking her head before looking back at me. "You have to listen to me now, Bella," she continued urgently. "Edward is one of the most stubborn creatures I know. When he gets something in his head, it's nearly impossible to change his mind. He won't be happy to see you. He's decided to leave without even saying goodbye." She gritted her teeth angrily.

I swallowed the gasp that had threatened to escape my lips. I couldn't believe Edward would do something like that. "Why?"

Jasper put his hand on Alice's shoulder and she smiled at him gratefully. Then she turned her big eyes back to me and shrugged. "I told you before, Bella. I can't see the reasons behind decisions." Her face was apologetic. "Anyway, it's possible he'll try to do anything to persuade you to let him go. Including lying to you. I can't see what he's going to say but you must remember what we talked about in Seattle."

I nodded.

"Good." She smiled shortly. "One more thing. He wants all of us to go, not just him. None of us wants to leave, we love it here and we love you. The problem is that he always moved with us after anyone of us had messed up and he never complained. He thinks we owe him."

"He can't make you leave!" I started to feel angry at Edward. What the hell gave him the right to make decisions for other people? More than ever I was now determined to fight with Edward not just for myself but for his family as well. "I won't let him go, Alice."

Alice's face went blank for a few seconds and then she smiled slightly. "I think you can do it, Bella."

* * *

Before I could come up with things to say to Edward we were crossing the backyard of the big white mansion. Jasper and Alice had agreed on hiding their thoughts from Edward for as long as possible so he wouldn't bolt even before I had the chance to talk to him.

As soon as we entered the living room, Esme was greeting us with a hug. Jasper helped me down and I, hopping on one leg, leaned against Esme's side. After assuring her that I was okay I looked around and was quite shocked by what I saw.

Emmett was sitting on the couch, his back hunched and his head in his hands. Next to him was Rosalie who was soothingly running her hand up and down his back. She looked at me then and her expression was… pleading? I stared at them, not sure if I should say something, when Emmett lifted his head.

"Hey, little witch," he said with a weak smile but his voice lacked its usual exuberance. "Please, do me a favor and kick his ass for me, would you?"

I glanced at my bandaged foot and then back at Emmett, grimacing. "You know what, Emmett? I'll leave the kicking to you after I'm done with him."

He blinked but then his face spread into a half grin, though his eyes were still rather blank. "Deal."

"Is he still in Carlisle's office?" I asked Esme who was still supporting my weight.

"Yes. I'll take you there," she said with a gentle smile and easily lifted me into her arms. I looked closely into her face and even though she was smiling, I could see it was with a great effort.

Once we were on the second floor Esme slowed down and walked to the door at the end of the hallway. She put me down, holding my waist so I wouldn't fall, and lightly knocked on the door. I knew both Carlisle and Edward must have heard us coming but apparently manners were important to at least some members of this family.

"Come in," called Carlisle's voice from inside and Esme opened the door.

I'd been in Carlisle's office only once when Edward had given me a tour of this house the first time I was visiting the Cullens. It was an unspoken rule not to go there unless you needed to talk to Carlisle or he personally allowed it. Everyone understood that it was his personal space. It was a big room with walls covered with shelves full of books. There was a comfortable looking armchair in the corner and by the window, which was actually a wall made of glass since the office was situated on the same side of the house as the living room or Edward's room, stood a large wooden desk.

Edward was standing by the window looking outside while Carlisle was next to him, his hand on Edward's shoulder. Carlisle looked up, clearly not surprised to see me, and walked over to us.

"Bella," he said, giving me a short hug. "How is your leg? Does it hurt? I should say that you should have stayed in bed but I'm really glad you're here."

It did hurt, a little, but I just shrugged. "It's okay. This is more important."

He helped me to get to his desk where I leaned against it, keeping my leg lifted slightly so it wouldn't touch the floor. Then Carlisle gently patted my shoulder, briefly looked at Edward and together with Esme they left the room.

Edward was still staring out the window, not moving, like he hadn't even acknowledged my presence. Suddenly I didn't know what to say. I wanted to both yell at him and to beg him to stay.

A few more minutes passed in silence and he still hadn't moved. I could see his face in the reflection of the window, he still stared ahead of him but his jaws were clenched. My patience was slowly wearing off so I decided to make him look at me and without thinking took a step toward him.

I gasped as a sharp pain shot through my ankle, barely swallowing down a curse. I guess whatever painkiller I'd been given must have worn off. Before I could straighten myself though, two strong arms gripped me by my waist and the next second I was sitting on Carlisle's desk.

I looked up and Edward was now standing a few feet from me, his expression unreadable. At least he was finally facing me.

"Thank you," I muttered.

He looked down at my injured ankle. "Go back to bed, Bella," he said quietly, not meeting my eyes.

Something about his tone, or maybe it was the fact that he wouldn't look me in the eyes, made me suddenly furious.

"Why? So you could run away like a coward without so much as saying goodbye?"

His eyes snapped to me and he pressed his lips into a thin line. Making him angry hadn't been my original intention but if it made him less in control of his reactions, I could get to him and have him talk to me.

He was quiet now, staring at me with narrowed eyes, probably trying not to snap at me. So I went on.

"Is this how you deal with problems, Edward? Instead of facing them like a man you run away?"

I knew I was playing with fire but at the same time I was sure he wouldn't hurt me. I crossed my arms, waiting for his reaction.

Edward closed his eyes, breathing through his nose like he was trying to calm himself. "You think I'm a coward?" he said coldly. His eyes snapped open and it was now that I realized they were black. A shiver ran through my spine but I wasn't about to back off.

"Why do you want to leave then?"

He gritted his teeth, his expression turning hard. I was sure it was just a mask but I still hated it. I missed his smile and the warmth of his golden eyes so much it made me want to cry. But I wouldn't break down in front of him now.

"I let it go too far between us," he said. "I'm sorry about that. I should have ended it long time ago."

I blinked a few times, not really expecting this. "Why are you saying this?"

He took a deep breath, looking me right in the eyes. "Because we don't belong together, Bella. It was a waste of our time." He winced slightly when he said this, apparently reacting to the thoughts of his family downstairs.

I couldn't believe he could be so cruel. Did he really regret spending time with me? I started doubting myself and my ability to make him change his mind. Alice must have been wrong, I thought. But then I remembered something else Alice had said. " _He'll try to do anything to persuade you to let him go. Including lying to you."_

I wouldn't give this up. Not that easily anyway. "How can you say this? You love me!"

At this he merely smirked. "I never said I did."

It felt like a dagger cut through my heart. I bowed my head, trying to calm my breathing. I knew he was lying. He had to be. I took one more calming breath and raised my head. For a split second I thought I caught a glimpse of pain on his face before he composed his expression into the same cold mask as before.

That was enough for me.

"That's bullshit," I said calmly. Edward blinked in surprise, clearly not expecting me to use such a language, but before he could react I went on. "Maybe you didn't say those words but you show it with everything you do." He opened his mouth but I pressed on. "Even now. I bet everything I have that you want to leave because you think I'd be somehow safer without you." Then I let out a short, not really amused laugh. "Or I could just ask Jasper. I'm sure he can tell me just how much you don't love me."

He stared at me like deer in the headlights, his mask gone. His hands shot up and he gripped his hair tightly in his fists. I wanted to reach out and grab his hands before he could pull his hair out but right then he shook his head and loosened his grip.

"This can't go on, Bella," he said, now looking at me with pleading eyes. "This… relationship… it would never work. We're too different, I can't give you what you need."

I crossed my arms again. "Really? And what exactly do I need? You apparently know it better than I."

He sighed, turning back to the window. "You need someone who can make you happy, who can give you a future, children… Someone who wouldn't put you in danger everytime you're with him."

"Edward."

I waited for him to look back at me. He didn't so I carefully slipped down off the desk and hopped to him on one leg. Without turning to me, his hand shot out to catch me by the arm before I could lose my balance. He kept his hand on my arm to keep me steady but still wouldn't look at me.

"Okay, then," I muttered to myself with a sigh. "I think I can decide for myself what I need. And I have everything I need with you. I am happy and safe - "

"Safe?" he snapped at me, finally turning to face me. "Weren't you there when my brother tried to kill you? And I wasn't too far from lunging at you myself!" He dragged his free hand through his hair again.

"What happened yesterday wasn't your or Jasper's fault, Edward! I was stupid enough to try again even though I was tired and it was harder to concentrate!"

He shook his head. "That's not the point, Bella. It's a miracle something like that didn't happen sooner. You could have easily cut your finger or scratch your knee and anyone of us could have lost their control. Even Esme or Alice."

I swallowed hard, fighting off the tears that had started gathering in my eyes. "You…" I started but then shook my head to get a better grip of myself. "You do have a point, I guess," I admitted reluctantly. "But it still doesn't give you the right to make decisions for me, Edward. Being in a relationship means that it involves more than one person so we should discuss things together."

"There's nothing to discuss, Bella. We're too dangerous." His face turned back into the hard mask and I wanted to scream. There had to be a way to make him change his mind but I doubted yelling at him would help.

Trying to remain calm, I reached out my hand and touched his face. Edward automatically closed his eyes and leaned into my palm before he realized his mistake and pulled away.

"You wouldn't hurt me. Besides, without you I would have been dead by now. You are all I need to be happy. I've never really wanted children and we can decide about the future together."

Even before I finished he'd started shaking his head. "You're seventeen. Maybe now you don't want children but it can change in a few years." I opened my mouth to protest but he pressed one of his fingers on my lips. "I'm sure that one day you will meet someone who will make you really happy and you will have the life you deserve."

I jerked my head to shake off his finger and he let his hand drop. "What about you? Will you meet someone who will make you happy too?" He just shrugged, lowering his eyes. "I know you won't. Do you really think that I could be happy with someone else knowing that you are out there feeling miserable?"

He shrugged again, his eyes still fixed on the floor, and muttered something that sounded like, "I don't matter."

I opened my mouth and closed it again. I didn't know what to say to that. What he'd said was so wrong that I didn't even have the strength to yell at him.

"You matter to me," I finally said after I calmed myself down a little. "And to your family."

Edward started shaking his head again but I went on. "Listen to me now, Edward Cullen. You're not going anywhere. I won't allow it."

He blinked at me in disbelief. "Bella… you can't really stop me," he said slowly like he was talking to a child.

I didn't let his tone discourage me. "Not physically, of course." I shrugged. „But since you can't force your family to follow you, they will be here to help me find you and drag you back."

He frowned and blinked a few times. "No, they… they will come with me."

I crossed my arms, not needing to try keeping my balance since Edward was still keeping me steady. "No, they won't. You can't make them, Edward. They finally don't have to hide their true identity from everyone. They love it here. Alice has finally some friends beside the family. How can you take it away from them?"

He gritted his teeth and lowered his head so it was the same level as mine and looked me right in the eyes. "Because your safety is more important than any of this," he growled.

I would have taken a step back had he not kept his hold on my arm. A lump had stuck in my throat and again I could feel tears gathering in my eyes. I blinked furiously several times to keep them back but I couldn't stop one tear that escaped and was now running down my right cheek.

Edward's expression softened considerably. „Please, don't cry, Bella," he whispered, his voice breaking at the last word.

I could see his resolve wavering a little so I decided to use the opportunity. „Don't leave me then," I said with a sniff. „I love you, Edward and I need you here. We can figure things out together. Please," I pressed on when he closed his eyes, his expression torn, „I would follow you anyway, I'm sure there are magical ways to do it and I wouldn't stop until I found you."

He examined my face closely, like he was trying to find out if I really meant it. And I did mean it. I would try to find a way to find him, no matter how long would it take.

"Why, Bella?" he said pleadingly. "Why can't you just let me go?"

I sighed in frustration. Hadn't I just told him? "Because _I love you._ Just the thought of you being miserable is killing me, Edward. Don't do this. _Please_." Tears were now running freely down my face and I didn't even try to fight them anymore.

He closed his eyes again and his shoulders sagged. I could feel both his arms wrapping around me and he pressed me against his chest, burying his nose into my hair.

Wait… did it mean…?

I heard a squeal from downstairs and I sighed in relief. Edward had just decided to stay.

"Thank you," I whispered into his chest as his arms tightened around me.

 **A/N: So as you all probably figured out, this was my version of the infamous break-up scene in NM. I decided that Edward would stay a long time ago. I always hated that part in canon, especially the fact that no one of the Cullens didn't really try to stop Edward from leaving. I never understood how Alice, who claimed to be Bella's best friend, could just leave without a word, even though she must have known what their leaving would do to both Edward and Bella.**

 **Uh... sorry, I could rant about this for ages :) Thank you for reading and if you can, leave me a review.**

 **J.**


	8. Reasons

**A/N: Hello! I'd wanted to update sooner but then I got the flu and didn't really feel like writing. Also I wanted to reply to a question I got in a review by an anonymous reader. They asked if there would be more about the Quileutes. So, the Quileutes won't play such a big part in this story but I won't ignore them completely. There will be no love triangle between Edward, Bella and Jacob though if that's what you're asking :)**

 **Now, enjoy!**

 **Chapter eight**

We still stood in an embrace when the door burst open and the rest of the Cullens poured in. Edward barely had time to sit me back on Carlisle's desk and suddenly I found myself in Alice's arms and then in Esme's and Carlisle's.

I tilted my head slightly at some point and saw Emmett slowly walking toward Edward with a strange expression. "What…" Edward started but right then Emmett punched him in the shoulder with such force that it nearly knocked Edward off his feet. Emmett then grinned like nothing had just happened and patted still shocked Edward on the same shoulder.

About half a second later I was engulfed in Emmett's bear hug. "Good job, little witch," he boomed into my ear, still grinning.

I was relieved to see him back in his usual mood but I still frowned at him playfully. "You're hurting my ear, Emmett."

He was then dragged away by Rosalie, who, to my surprise, gave me a small smile. Edward was still holding me by the waist and rubbing his left temple with his free hand. I frowned. It looked like he was having a headache but I knew that was impossible. "I know! I overreacted, alright?!" he nearly whined with exasperation.

I felt bad for him, clearly the others had been bombarding him with not very pleasant thoughts. Before I could say anything, Esme stepped in. "Leave Edward alone, now," she said, looking around with narrowed eyes like she was trying to find out who the culprit was. I looked around too but was unable to say who could have thought anything offensive. Even Rosalie seemed relieved, rather than angry. A few seconds later Edward's expression cleared and he breathed out in relief.

Right then Alice gasped, clapping her hand on her mouth. Everyone turned to her but I looked at Edward for explanation. His eyes were on Alice but he didn't look like he was panicking. It was more like he felt… guilty?

Alice suddenly grabbed Esme's arm and, mumbling something unintelligible, she dragged her out of the room.

"What was that about?" I asked, frustrated.

It was Carlisle who answered. "We have a visitor," he said with a slight frown and he too left the room.

"Charlie," I said with a hiss. Of course, he must have gotten impatient and decided to come and see what had taken me so long.

The others shook their heads though and now I noticed that Jasper too had a guilty expression on his face. I opened my mouth to demand some answers when I heard voices from downstairs that were getting closer. I frowned, recognizing Amelia Weber's voice and it sounded quite angry.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward said, tightening his grip on my waist a little. "You shouldn't have left the bed."

I could hear fast steps on the hallway now and a few seconds later the door flew open and a furious looking Amelia marched in. Her eyes swept around the room before they fell on me. I cringed instinctively and Edward took a small step to me so now he was standing in front of me.

"What do you think you're doing, Bella?" said Amelia in a surprisingly calm voice even though her face looked far from calm. "Can you explain to me why are you out of bed?" I took a breath to answer but she went on. "Splinching can't be taken lightly, not one of such extent as yours." Her eyes then flashed to Edward. "It seems like you had something to do with it, Edward." While she was speaking, she'd walked to me and lifted my leg, gently pressing my ankle with her fingers. I hissed in pain. It hadn't hurt that much while I'd kept my leg off the floor, I'd felt only a dull throbbing which was quite easy to ignore. Now it hurt like hell.

Edward looked at me anxiously. "I… I didn't think she would try to stop me," he said quietly, dropping his eyes.

Amelia sighed, shaking her head. "Well, you clearly thought wrong," she said without raising her eyes from my ankle. "Now, Bella, how did you even get here? Please tell me you didn't use the fireplace."

"No, Jasper carried me."

She looked up, lifting her eyebrows in surprise and turned to Jasper who had been standing in the doorway with Alice. "Hm. Someone will have to tell me the whole story after I take care of this," she said, gesturing to my leg. Then she straightened up. "We need to get you to bed, Bella. You lost a lot of blood last night and the Blood-Replenishing Potion I gave you needs some time to take full effect. You must be exhausted. It's a miracle you haven't passed out yet."

When she'd said those last words, I suddenly became aware of a slight nausea in my stomach. I blinked, feeling Edward's arm around my shoulders.

Amelia frowned thoughtfully and then turned to Carlisle and Esme. "Actually, I think it would be better if she stayed here. She will have to stay in bed for at least two or three days and it will require constant care. She can't be left alone."

"But Charlie - " I started to protest only to be cut off by Carlisle.

"We will talk to him, Bella, don't worry."

"But… he was really upset…" I tried to argue but suddenly I felt all blood draining from my face. I closed my eyes tightly as the pain in my ankle got nearly unbearable and slumped into Edward's arms. I felt that I was being lifted and soon laid on a soft mattress.

My eyes flickered open and I saw Edward covering me up with a warm comforter. A few seconds later Amelia strode into the room, pulling out a familiar little bottle from her bag. She sat down on the edge of the bed next to me, holding the bottle of anti-sickness potion before my lips.

"Drink this, Bella. It will make you feel better."

I did as I was told and almost immediately the nausea was gone. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warm feeling spreading through my body. Cold fingers squeezed my hand and I opened my eyes to see Edward crouching beside the bed, looking anxious. I smiled at him, showing that I was feeling better. The pain in my ankle had subsided too and I glanced at Amelia, who had meanwhile unwrapped the bandages and was applying some sort of ointment on my skin.

I quickly averted my gaze from what she was doing, not ready to see the injury right now. Instead I looked at Esme who had been standing by the door with Carlisle. "Esme? Could you please get my wand for me when you're at Charlie's? I left in on my bedside table."

"Of course, dear." Esme gave me a gentle smile. "Anything else?"

I shook my head since I'd spend most of the time in bed anyway and I'd already had here some basic things from the last time I'd stayed the night.

"No," said Edward suddenly with a low growl, still looking at my face.

Before I could ask what was wrong Carlisle spoke. "Edward, you need to hunt. You haven't fed at all since the accident."

"I'm fine."

But he didn't look fine at all. I'd already noticed his pitch black eyes before and the dark shadows under his eyes made him look like he was exhausted. He was also very tense and every now and then he winced slightly though it could have been a reaction to some thoughts from the others.

"Edward, you should go," I said, though I didn't really want him to leave my side. What if he changed his mind again and decided to leave?

"He's going to come back, Bella." Jasper stuck his head into the room, smiling at me reassuringly. "Emmett and I are going with him."

I looked back at Edward whose lips were forming a thin line. "Go then," I ordered, squeezing his fingers. He closed his eyes tightly but sighed in resignation. After kissing my knuckles he stood up and nearly sprinted out of the room. Emmett and Jasper followed him.

"Get some rest, Bella," said Amelia once she'd finished bandaging my foot. Then she pulled another bottle out of her bag and placed it on the bedside table. "If it starts to hurt again, drink this. It will help with the pain but it will make you drowsy so don't overuse it." She looked at Carlisle who was still standing in the room, watching Amelia closely. "Also the ointment needs to be reapplied at least twice a day."

"I'll take care of it," said Carlisle, clearly happy he could be helpful.

I let my head drop into the pillows, feeling suddenly extremely exhausted. I was vaguely aware of Carlisle and Amelia talking some more about my condition before I fell asleep.

* * *

I felt Edward next to me even before I opened my eyes. I rolled over, snuggling into his chest with a sigh. He pulled me closer and I smiled, breathing in his scent. Everything felt right except for a slight tugging sensation in my ankle. That was when I realized what had happened and snapped my eyes open.

"You're here," I breathed out in relief. I was sure that if he'd changed his mind and decided to leave, not even Jasper and Emmett would have managed to stop him.

"Yes." I felt his breath in my hair but his voice was barely a whisper.

"What time is it?" It was still dark outside and I could barely make out Edward's outlines.

"Half past two. Go back to sleep, Bella."

I shook my head. "I don't feel like sleeping anymore," I said, shifting a little so I could see his face, or at least as much as I could in the darkness.

He sighed but didn't argue with me. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes and I was thinking of a way to address the proverbial elephant in the room. At last I decided to just get it over with.

"So," I started and he tilted his head toward me. "Why did you decide to leave?"

Even in the darkness I could see his eyebrows shoot up incredulously. "You nearly bled out in front of bloodthirsty vampires, Bella. Isn't that a good enough reason for you?"

I lifted myself into a sitting position with some difficulty, careful not to move my leg too much, and switched on the lamp on the bedside table so I could see Edward's face. When I turned back to him, his face was unreadable but his arms were crossed.

"You had decided before that happened," I said, crossing my arms too. Too late I realized that I didn't know if Alice had told him about our talk in Seattle.

"And how do you know that?" Okay, now I had my answer.

"Alice told me."

A flash of anger crossed Edward's face and I only hoped that I wouldn't get Alice in trouble. "When did she tell you?"

"In Seattle."

He closed his eyes, letting his head fall against the headboard. "What else did she tell you?"

I sighed and moved up closer to him, tugging at his still crossed arms so he would loosen them and I could hold his hand. He did and I entwined my fingers with his. His eyes were watching me now intensely, waiting for my answer. "She told me you wanted to leave but she didn't know when or why. She also told me…" I bit my lip, staring at our hands in Edward's lap. "She also told me you wanted to kill yourself if something happened to me," I whispered, not daring to look at his face.

I heard an angry hiss and his free hand clenched into a fist. My eyes snapped to him. "Don't be mad at her, please. She only did it because she cares about the both of us," I pleaded anxiously.

"She had no right telling you this," he said with a low growl.

"Stop it, Edward," I snapped at him. "I'm glad she told me." We scowled at each other for a few seconds but then I remembered my original question. We were in no way done talking about his suicidal tendencies but now wasn't the time. "Nevermind that now. You still didn't answer my question."

He gritted his teeth but looked away and didn't say anything.

"It wasn't just about my safety," I pressed on. "Tell me what the real reason was, Edward. Please."

He stared at our joined hands, his jaw clenching and unclenching. I waited, trying to be patient and give him time to organize his thoughts. When minutes passed and he was still quiet my patience wore off. "Are you afraid the others would hear?"

Edward's lips curled up in a smirk but then he turned serious again. "They're out."

"Then tell me, please," I pleaded again.

He sighed and finally looked at me, his expression scared and vulnerable. "I was afraid that you would leave me," he whispered.

I blinked in confusion. "What?" I frowned. "You wanted to leave because you were afraid I would leave you?" I repeated, making sure I understood right. He nodded. "But… but that doesn't make sense!"

He chuckled humorlessly. "It does to me. You know, you were right when you called me a coward, Bella." He sighed, closing his eyes. "I was so scared that one day you would say that you didn't want to be with me anymore, that I thought if I was the one to leave first, it would be easier." I stared at him, not knowing what to say to that. He opened his eyes and went on. "It was selfish, I know that but… the thought of you leaving first was just too painful."

"I'll never leave you, Edward," I said fervently.

He laughed but again it was bitter and lacked any humor. "You can't know that. There are things about me you don't know and…" He stopped talking, running his free hand through his hair, looking anxious.

"What things?"

Edward just shook his head, his hand still in his hair. I took a deep breath and reached out my free hand to pull his fingers out of his hair. "What things?" I repeated, looking right in his eyes, now holding both of his hands.

"You will hate me," he whispered, lowering his gaze.

"I can never hate you, Edward. Please, tell me." I was sure that whatever he had to tell me wouldn't change my view of him or my feelings.

He took a deep breath, squeezing my fingers so it nearly hurt. "I… I killed humans, Bella."

I frowned. I knew most of the Cullens had slipped in their first years as vampires, except for Carlisle, so I didn't know why it bothered him that much. "Okay," I said slowly. "But I already knew that."

"It wasn't just an accident," he said, his eyes boring into mine. "I went killing humans because I wanted to."

I stared at him with wide eyes. "Why?"

Again, Edward sighed, looking ashamed and remorseful, disgusted even. Then he started talking in a quiet voice.

"When Carlisle changed me and after I got the thirst under control, it was a relief that he didn't want to hunt humans. I felt less like the monster and he slowly taught me how to live among humans without wanting to hurt them. It wasn't easy because of my mind reading but soon I could easily manage to be with small groups of people." He paused, looking ahead of him, his thumb making slow circles against my palm.

"Three years after my change he found Esme," he went on. "I liked her instantly and she quickly fell in the role of my surrogate mother. But… she and Carlisle spent a lot of time together, leaving me alone. I didn't mind at first, I was happy for them. I had my music and I felt… contented." Edward frowned, his eyes falling back to our hands.

"One day we met two nomads. It was the first time I met other vampires than us and though they said they found our way of life interesting their thoughts revealed something else. They thought about their recent kills, how good and sweet the blood was and that they wouldn't want to give that up. I was intrigued. Hunting animals was enough to feed us but I never felt completely satisfied. Later I talked to Carlisle about it and even though he said he wouldn't stop me if I decided to go my way, I saw in his mind that he would be unhappy if I left. So I stayed with him and Esme for a few more years."

He fell quiet again, his eyes still on our hands. I sensed his growing distress so I squeezed his fingers encouragingly, showing him that I was still there. He glanced at my face but quickly averted his gaze again. Taking a deep breath he continued with his story.

"A few years after her change, Esme had an accident. She was hunting and she ran into a human. She couldn't control herself. When she got back, she was devastated but in her thoughts I could hear that she'd never tasted anything better. She tried to hide it from me, felt guilty about her thoughts. But I still heard it…

"After that I felt increasingly angry and it was like I was missing something. One night I had a fight with Carlisle, I told him things I'm not very proud of. I left the same night." He closed his eyes tightly, his face full of disgust.

"Where did you go?" I whispered.

"The big cities. I decided to use my mind reading and hunt only those who were monsters themselves. Murderers, rapists, pedophiles. I thought that it would make me less evil. That I would do the world a favour if I got it rid of these people." He snorted in selfdisgust.

"At first, it felt good. Human blood was amazing, I finally felt satisfied and it made me feel powerful. But it was also very addictive. The first few months hardly a day passed without me killing someone. Sometimes even more than one." He paused and gritted his teeth.

"After a few years, I felt like I'd lost almost all humanity Carlisle had tried to instil in me. I truly was the monster I'd never wanted to be. I hated myself but it was so hard to just stop… At last it took one terrible mistake for me to realize that I didn't want to live like that anymore."

I couldn't suppress my curiousity. "What mistake?"

Edward looked at me, his expression bitter and haunted. "Don't you hate me already?"

"No." I shook my head.

He chuckled darkly and sighed. "One night, I was in New York, I followed two men into a warehouse. They were killers, planning to kidnap and kill a bussinessman and his family… Once I was sure they were alone and no one would hear them, I attacked. Usually I tried to be quick, if just for my own sake because it had been getting harder for me to hear their last thoughts… to see myself as the monster through their eyes… But with those two I felt like I wanted to take my time. They disgusted me. They had planned to kill the whole family, including two children… I wanted them to suffer…"

His voice dropped so low that I had to concentrate on catching everything. "Too late I realized that we weren't in fact alone. Their thoughts were too loud, especially when they realized what was happening to them… There… there was a homeless boy in the warehouse. He'd been sleeping on the other side of the building, hidden from view. That's why I hadn't heard his thoughts – he hadn't even been dreaming. I hadn't paid attention to his scent either – the building was old and it could have been just a residual scent from before. It also smelled of garbage and other things…"

"He saw you."

"Yes." He closed his eyes again, his jaw tense. "I had to… I didn't have a choice, Bella," he said, his voice pleading. He looked into my eyes, clearly desperate for me to understand. "He would have told others about me. I saw it in his mind. He… he was scared but he wanted everyone to know what he'd seen… I couldn't let it happen…" He drew a hissing breath before continuing. "At least I made it quick, he didn't feel anything… I didn't drink his blood… I just couldn't."

I stared at him, my mind completely blank. Maybe it was shock, I didn't know. It was hard for me to imagine Edward as a killer, even though I'd seen him kill another vampire right in front of me. But then, Victoria had wanted to kill me so it was different.

I blinked, refocusing on Edward's tortured face. "You came back to Carlisle then?" My own voice wasn't more than a whisper.

"Yes. I missed them both so much that I was ready to beg for forgiveness, but miraculously, he and Esme took me back without question. They were just too happy that I was back…" His expression was incredulous, like he still couldn't believe it.

I leaned back against the headboard – I had been sitting the whole time and my back was starting to ache – and closed my eyes. I was still holding Edward's hands and even after all his confessions it felt good to be able to touch him. I was thinking about everything he'd just told me. It was surprising, shocking really, but I still couldn't bring myself to think less of him. He was still my Edward, the man I'd fallen in love with, only now I knew the reasons behind some of his actions and moods.

Soon I felt his gaze on me and opened my eyes. He looked anxious again, nervously waiting for me to say something.

"I'm still not going anywhere, Edward," I assured him and his face relaxed with relief.

A second later he frowned though. "Even after everything I just told you?" he asked incredulously.

I sighed. "Well, I won't lie – I'm not exactly happy with what you did." I paused, thinking about what to say next. "But I think you know too well that what you did was wrong… You clearly regret it, don't you?"

He nodded. "Every day. But… how can you not feel repulsed by it?"

I shrugged. "Like I said. You made a mistake. You regret it. You learned your lesson…" Then I frowned. "How many people did you kill after you'd come back to Carlisle and Esme?"

"None."

"So you stopped hunting humans… just like that? Even if you told me human blood is highly addictive?"

He snorted. "You make it sound like it was something impressive, Bella." He rolled his eyes. "I did stop but it wasn't easy. I felt like a newborn again. But I didn't want to be a monster anymore and I couldn't imagine disappointing Carlisle and Esme again." He then shook his head disbelievingly. "I still can't believe you're so calm about it."

"All those things made you the man you are now. The one I fell in love with," I said with a small smile but then a sudden thought came to my mind. "Wait… did you kill Esme's first husband?"

He raised his eyebrows. "She told you about Charles?" I nodded. "Yes, he was actually the first human I killed," he admitted.

"Well, that's good," I muttered.

He looked taken aback. "It is?"

"Yes, he hurt Esme!" I blurted out. "No one hurts Esme," I stated adamantly.

Edward let out a breathless laugh. "You're incredible." Then he turned serious again, cupping my face in his big hands and staring into my eyes intently. "I love you, Bella," he whispered reverently. I gasped. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before…" Then his eyebrows creased a little. "Actually, I did, but you were always asleep." He shrugged, giving me an apologetic smile.

"Really?"

"Yes." He nodded and smiled sheepishly. "I wanted to tell you before but… at first I was sure that you couldn't possibly feel the same way and I didn't want you to feel pressured. And after you told me you loved me in your sleep and then last week in the meadow…" He shrugged. "I'd already decided to leave at some point so I thought that if you didn't know my feelings, it would be easier for you…"

"I always knew your feelings, Edward. You were rather bad at hiding them," I teased and he chuckled.

"You're probably right," he said with a sigh and then frowned. "But Bella… are you sure you want this?" After seeing my confused expression he clarified, "This relationship, I mean. I need you to be sure that I'm worth it because there are so many things we have to figure out and it won't always be easy."

I'd started nodding even before he finished speaking. "Yes, yes, Edward. I'm sure. You're all I want." I sighed, lifting my hand to caress his cheek. "And I know we still have to talk about a lot of things but… not just now, okay? I feel like I've had enough of heavy topics for one night."


	9. Distance

**Chapter nine**

Sunday morning I woke up to a cold sensation in my ankle. Something was being gently massaged into my skin and it felt really good. I slowly opened my eyes.

Edward was sitting at the bottom of the bed, my foot in his lap, and it was his fingers that were touching my skin. Next to him was the ointment Amelia had left here for me. He kept his eyes on my foot but the corners of his mouth lifted up.

"Good morning."

"Morning," I mumbled sleepily, closing my eyes again. "That feels good," I said, barely stifling a moan. Edward's fingers paused for a second before resuming the slow foot massage.

"Esme's making you breakfast and Alice's waiting for me to finish so she can help you in the bathroom," he said quietly and my eyes snapped open again. I just realized that I hadn't eaten since Friday and it seemed that my stomach had realized the same thing because right on cue it grumbled loudly.

I blushed and Edward chuckled, reaching for clean bandages that were laying on the bed next to him.

"Wait," I blurted out and he froze with his hand over the bandage. "I want to see it," I explained, sitting up so I had a better view on my foot.

I drew in a hissing breath when I finally saw my injury for the first time since the accident. My right foot looked paler than usual and a thin red line circled irregularly around the ankle. It looked like someone had ripped it off. I remembered the bloody pool I had stood in right after the disaster of an Apparition and shuddered. Closing my eyes quickly I lowered myself back into the pillow.

"Are you alright?" Edward asked anxiously and gently placed my foot on the bed. Almost immediately I felt him sit beside me, touching my forehead.

"I'm fine," I said with a sigh and opened my eyes, finding myself looking into his worried face. "It's just that thinking about all the blood that was there makes me a little… uncomfortable," I admitted, feeling embarrassed.

"You mean sick," he said with a smirk. "You went all pale."

I scowled at him but I could see the irony as well. "Well, it used to be much worse before I started Hogwarts. Then it got better, especially after I started playing Quidditch but I'd never lost that much blood so…," I trailed off with a shrug.

Edward just shook his head and kissed my forehead before returning to finish bandaging my foot.

"Didn't Carlisle say he would take care of it?" I remembered Carlisle's promise from last night.

He chuckled. "Bella, I have two medical degrees. I think I can manage bandaging your foot. Besides, Carlisle is at the hospital."

"Oh," I said, surprised. "But doesn't it make you uncomfortable? You know, after the accident…" I bit my lip nervously, afraid that I might have offended him.

"No more than usual." He shrugged and smiled slightly, placing a kiss on my now perfectly bandaged ankle.

There was a knock on the door and Alice burst into the room, not even waiting for one of us to call her in. Edward rolled his eyes and stood up. "I'll leave you two to it," he said with a smile, kissed my cheek and walked out of the room, ruffling Alice's short hair as he went. She stuck her tongue after him and grinned.

I giggled, happy to see the two of them being on good terms again. Then I felt a slight pang of guilt, remembering that I'd sort of betrayed her last night. "I told him about our talk in Seattle," I blurted out, biting my lip.

Alice just waved her hand dismissively, flitting between Edward's closet and the bathroom. "I know and it's okay, Bella. I knew you'd tell him eventually."

"He didn't… yell at you or something, right?"

"No, he barely left your side," she said, rolling her eyes, and stopped beside the bed, holding out a hand with a plastic bag in it. "Now, I'm going to wrap it around your foot so it won't get wet, okay?"

* * *

I hadn't realized how badly I'd needed a shower. When we'd finally left the bathroom, I felt fresh and clean and wondered how Edward could have put up with my sweaty self at night.

He was already back in the room, a tray laying on the bed. There was so much food on it that it could feed an army but my stomach grumbled again at the sight of it and my face heated up. Both Alice and Edward laughed and Alice then sat me on the bed so I could comfortably lean against the pillow that had been propped against the headboard.

As soon as Edward put the tray on my lap I dived in. The scrambled eggs were delicious and soon I cleaned the plate that would normally be enough for at least two people. Edward and Alice watched me in amusement, sitting on either side of me, and I started feeling self-conscious.

"Don't you two have something else to do?" I grumbled, chewing on a toast.

"Nope." Alice beamed at me.

I sighed, frowning, searching for a topic to bring up so they would talk rather than just stare at me. "What about Charlie?" I asked, finally remembering my upset father. „Did Carlisle and Esme manage to calm him down?"

"Yes, at least a little," said Edward. "He's coming here this afternoon to see how you're doing."

"Is he still mad at Jasper?"

"Yes," said Alice sadly. "He will be for a while but he will forgive him, eventually."

"He should be mad at me, not him." I frowned. "It was my fault."

"Don't say that, Bella," said Edward, shaking his head. "We put you in far more danger by being what we are."

"Stop it," I growled, glaring at him. He just shrugged.

"Well," said Alice, giving Edward a meaningful look, "he _is_ mad at you, too. For not telling him how dangerous we and the Apparition are."

I sighed, pushing at the tray with the now empty plate and Alice quickly took it from me and placed it on the floor. "And he's okay with me staying here?" I asked then, leaning back against the pillow.

Edward took my hand, placing a soft kiss on my knuckles. "I think he doesn't like it much but he didn't dare to go against the doctor's orders." He smiled slightly. "And I think he realized that he really wouldn't be able to be with you all the time."

"And the idea of having to take you to the bathroom terrified him," said Alice with a giggle.

I laughed too. "Well, it's terrifying to me, too." I shuddered at the very thought and then I sighed. "I really can't get out of bed at all?"

"Just for a few days, Bella," said Edward, now tracing slow, calming circles against my palm with his thumb.

I grimaced and tried not to think of tomorrow when the others would be at school.

* * *

Charlie arrived in the afternoon just as Edward had said.

Edward was reading Shakespeare's sonnets to me and I was cuddled against his side when suddenly he stopped reading and put the book aside. He straightened up and shifted a little, holding just my hand and turned his head toward the door. Just as I was about to ask what was wrong, there was a knock on the door and Esme walked in with Charlie in tow.

He looked around the room before his eyes landed on me and Edward. He narrowed his eyes when he saw our joined hands. I bit my lip nervously and squeezed Edward's fingers even more tightly. Charlie cleared his throat and glanced first at Esme, who had been still standing by the door, and then back to us.

"So, Edward," Charlie started, crossing his arms, "I see you've decided to stay after all."

"Yes, Charlie," said Edward quietly and then glanced at Esme and nodded.

"I'll be downstairs if you need anything," said Esme and backed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

Charlie had looked after Esme but as soon as she was gone he turned back to us. "Please, have a seat," Edward said, motioning toward the chair by his desk. Charlie looked like he wanted to protest but he thought better of it and pulled the chair toward the bed, sitting down heavily.

"You scared the hell out of me, Bella," he said, looking down at his hands.

"I know. I'm sorry, Dad."

"You didn't tell me that Apparating was that dangerous," he said in what seemed to be a calm voice but I knew better.

"I'm sorry," I said again in a small voice.

"And I didn't know what danger _he_ was to you either." He pointed at Edward accusingly. I heard Edward sigh and turned to him. His eyes were on our hands, his face full of guilt.

I frowned. I thought Charlie was mad at Jasper but now he blamed Edward too? How much had Carlisle and Esme told him last night?

"I'm sorry, Charlie," mumbled Edward but I shot him a glare.

"It's not Edward's fault. Nor anyone's of his family," I said firmly, turning back to my dad. "I knew what I was getting into when I started seeing him, Dad."

"So you knew that they could hurt you at any time and you were fine with it?" Charlie's voice was getting angry.

"You knew they are vampires, dad! And until now it didn't seem to bother you," I pointed out.

"Well, I thought that drinking from animals made them less dangerous," he admitted with a frown.

"It does, in a way," said Edward, now looking straight at Charlie. "We usually don't have problems around humans. But it has taken us many years to get to that point and some of us still struggle at times."

"And still you all walk among humans when you know there is even a slight possibility that you could hurt them!" spat Charlie.

"There hasn't been an accident for nearly thirty years, Charlie. Even Jasper can usually control himself well enough now and when it gets to be too much for him, he's able to leave before he loses control."

Charlie leaned back in the chair, his arms still crossed, looking at Edward doubtfully. "Like he did Friday night?" he hissed.

I could feel Edward tense beside me. I scowled at Charlie but he just stared right back at Edward.

"Friday night was…" Edward started to say but he paused and when I looked at him I saw his eyes shut tightly, his expression pained. "Friday night was different," he said after a minute. "No one had expected it, even Alice didn't see it until it was too late. She'd had flashes of something we couldn't make sense of but…" He sighed deeply. "Toby even put a protective charm around part of the clearing, just in case… It happened so fast… she just appeared right in front of us with her foot off, bleeding…" I saw Edward's free hand clench into a fist but he continued, "Jasper didn't want to hurt her, it was just too much for him..." he trailed off, staring in front of him with a distant, haunted look in his eyes, clearly remembering the horrible night.

I shifted to face him and cupped his face in my free hand. "Hey, it's okay," I mumbled, waiting for him to look at me. He leaned into my touch and his eyes finally met mine. "It's okay. I'm okay," I repeated again. He nodded and then his eyes flashed to Charlie. I'd nearly forgotten he was there too.

Charlie was watching us with a strange look on his face. "So… there have been accidents," he said with an edge in his voice. I heard Edward drawing in a hissing breath and from the corner of my eye I saw him nod. "Carlisle and Esme told me a little about Jasper's struggles last night," Charlie went on. "Something to do with his past…" He frowned but then narrowed his eyes at Edward. "What about you? They said it was harder for you to be around Bella. What did they mean?"

"Bella's blood smells better to me than anyone else's," Edward said quietly. "The first time we met, it was… nearly impossible to resist. I very nearly killed her that day." I already knew that, of course, but hearing it again still sent shivers down my spine. I also didn't understand why he was telling Charlie all this.

Charlie's face was red with anger now but when he spoke his voice was calm which was even more dangerous. "And that is supposed to make me feel better?"

"No, but… the more I'm around Bella, the easier it gets," Edward tried to explain. "I would never hurt her. I tried to leave to protect her but… well, she's stubborn and wouldn't let me go."

I clasped his hand in both of mine to confirm his words.

Charlie stared at our hands again and then looked at me, his eyes tired and sad. He was quiet for a long time, clearly thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days. At last he took a deep breath and said, "Is there anything else I should know about you or any member of your family, Edward?"

Edward nodded, took a deep breath and started telling Charlie about the years he'd gone hunting humans.

* * *

When Edward finished telling Charlie all about his rebellious years – including the story about the innocent homeless boy he'd had to kill – the silence that followed was defeaning. Charlie just sat there with his head in his hands so we couldn't see his face, mumbling something under his breath but I didn't understand what it was.

I looked at Edward. He was watching Charlie anxiously, his face seemed to be somehow even paler than usual if that was even possible. He kept clenching and unclenching his jaws and his free hand – I was still holding the other in my hands tightly – had curled into a fist. I wasn't sure what had caused it, if he was angry at whatever emotions Charlie's mind was throwing at him or stressed for the same reason.

I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Dad?" I said, my voice hoarse from stress. "Are you okay?"

Charlie lifted his head. He looked even more tired than before but he didn't seem angry anymore. He appeared to be resigned and defeated which, for some reason, seemed even worse. "Did you know, Bella?" he asked quietly. "Did you know what he did?"

I nodded. "He told me last night."

"And you're okay with it? You don't mind that he… murdered all those people?"

I sighed, biting my lip. "It's complicated, dad." I paused, trying to think about my answer. I was aware of Edward's eyes on me but I didn't look at him. "I wouldn't exactly say I don't mind," I said slowly, feeling Edward tense beside me again, "but it happened about eighty years ago and he hasn't killed a human since then. He even resisted killing me and I know that was nearly impossible. Edward's a good person, dad, and I know he still regrets what he did."

"Do you?" asked Charlie doubtfully, his eyes flashing to Edward.

"Yes."

Charlie rubbed his tired face and sighed. "I'm a cop, Edward. I don't know how to deal with what you did. My instinct tells me to arrest you or take Bella away and hide her somewhere safe but…" he sighed again, "… I know I can't do the former and Bella would probably fight me over the latter." He looked at me and I nodded. "I honestly don't know what to do… I think I need time to come to terms with it… and some distance maybe…"

"What do you mean, dad?" I asked, frowning.

He took a deep breath. "I mean that I need some alone time to think things through. Would you mind staying here for a week, Bella? If you're sure you'll be safe, that is."

"Well, if it's okay with – " I started but was interrupted by a voice from the doorway.

"Of course she can stay," said Esme with a kind smile, walking into the room. "She's going to be perfectly safe. We'll take care of her, don't worry Charlie."

I looked at Edward, expecting him to be happy that I would stay with him for a whole week, but his face was unreadable.

"Just try to keep Jasper away from her," said Charlie and my head snapped back to him.

"Dad!"

"And you will call me twice a day so I'll know you're okay," he went on, ignoring my protests.

I opened my mouth to argue but then Edward spoke before I could. "I'll make sure she will."

I scowled at him and then turned to my father. "I'm not a child," I grumbled petulantly but Charlie just crossed his arms, his look daring me to argue further.

"It's either that or I'll ask Amelia to take you to that magical hospital she works at."

I sighed in defeat. "Okay, I'll call you."

* * *

About an hour after Charlie had left, we had other visitors. Amelia came to check on me, bringing Angela with her. Angela was concerned about my foot and about Charlie's reaction and, to my great surprise, she nearly ripped Edward's head off for even thinking about leaving me. She kept ranting about it for a good ten minutes until I took pity on Edward, whose face looked painfully sad again, and stopped her.

"Really, Angie, it's okay. We've talked things through and everything's fine now," I tried to calm her down but really, she looked quite scary when she was pissed off.

She took a deep, calming breath and pointed her finger at Edward. "Right. But don't ever think about doing something stupid like that again."

Edward just nodded, mumbling a quiet, "I won't." I really felt sorry for him. First Charlie and now Angela both made him feel like everything was just his fault and as I knew him, he probably agreed with them.

Amelia, meanwhile, checked on my foot and said that Edward had done a good job with the bandages this morning. He just nodded but didn't even crack a smile. I sighed. It seemed that it would take a while to get him out of this miserable mood.

Before they left, Amelia told me not to use my wand unless completely necessary. "You need all your energy for your healing, Bella. Just enjoy being taken care of," she said with a small smile.

By the time I was ready for sleep, Edward's mood still hadn't improved. He hadn't said more than one-word sentences and it was only as an answer to somebody's question. His family didn't seem to be too concerned about it or at least as far as I could tell – I had been staying in bed the whole time – but I was determined to make him talk to me.

After Alice had finished her bathroom duty and left for the night, Edward laid down on the bed beside me as usual, taking my hand. But still, he was as quiet as before.

"Talk to me, Edward," I said, reaching my hand to his chin to try and make him look at me.

"About what?" he said softly, letting me turn his head to me.

"About what's bothering you."

He sighed, his head falling against the headboard. "Charlie's right to worry about you," he said, closing his eyes. "His emotions… he was so betrayed and disappointed in me, Bella." He looked at me sadly. "I felt like I was being slapped in the face. It was worse than if he'd been just angry. He's so protective of you… they all are, including Angela. I feel like I just don't deserve you…"

"He's going to get over it, Edward. I'll give him his week and then I'll talk to him," I promised. Lifting his hand I brushed my lips over his knuckles the way he always did to me.

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly but then he sighed again. "I'm really not sure I'm worth it, Bella. I wish you could have a normal, happy life without life-threatening situations."

I rolled my eyes. "Life's not always that easy," I said with a shrug. "I just have to take it as it is. And I can't really complain since I got you, so…" I trailed off, shrugging again.

"You're so stubborn," he said, shaking his head.

"Yep." I grinned at him and was relieved when his face finally lip up with a smile. He pulled me closer and I threw my left arm across his chest, laying my head on his shoulder. "You'll get used to it, don't worry."

He chuckled, kissing the side of my head and I closed my eyes with a smile on my lips.


	10. Recovery

**Chapter ten**

Monday morning I woke up to an empty bed and an empty room. I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized that the others had gone to school an hour ago. I sighed. This was going to be a long day.

I called Charlie to report that I had survived the night. He was already at work so we couldn't talk for long, but he still managed to remind me to keep away from Jasper and call him again in the evening.

After Esme had brought me breakfast and helped me in the bathroom, Carlisle came to change my bandages. He worked fast and before I knew it he was done. My leg felt better today. The pain was almost gone, except for a slight tugging sensation, so I didn't have to take the painkillers anymore. Still, Carlisle wouldn't let me leave the bed.

"Can't you at least carry me into the living room so I could lie on the couch?" I begged.

"Not today, Bella," said Carlisle with an apologetic smile. "Maybe tomorrow, if the leg is better and I have discussed it with Amelia. You are her patient and I won't go against her orders." I sighed, dropping my head against the headboard. Carlisle saw my expression and added, "I'm sorry, but your health is our priority now."

"I know, it's just… I hate being so helpless," I admitted with yet another sigh.

He just smiled again, patted my shoulder and after making sure I had everything I needed, he and Esme left.

I burried my head into the pillow, staring blankly at the ceiling. I'd never been a good patient. Lying in bed all day, not being able to do anything, was killing me. Especially when I had to rely on others to help me with even the smallest things like using the bathroom. That was really humiliating.

The rest of the morning I tried to read, watch TV or listen to music. Nothing held my interest for longer than fifteen minutes. Fortunately, I was saved by Edward who sent me a text, asking how I was doing. We kept texting for another hour or so since apparently he was bored as well.

After lunch I took a short nap. Or at least I thought it was short. I was woken up by a loud bang and Edward's angry hiss, "Emmett!"

I sat up, confused, and rubbed my eyes, squinting at Emmett's grinning face that had filled my vision.

"What's going on?" I asked sleepily, trying to peek around Emmett's huge form to see Edward.

"Emmett's being an idiot," Edward said but then was literally shoved out of the room by Emmett.

Emmett shut the door in Edward's face and turned to me, beaming. "I heard you were bored so I came to your rescue!" he boomed, lifting up a hand in which he held a black box which I had seen connected to the TV in the living room.

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. "What does it mean?"

He just grinned and walked to the TV that hung on the wall opposite the bed. I noticed two more black objects in his other hand just before he put it all on the floor and started fiddling with the TV. "Eddie keeps hogging you all the time so now it's my turn," he explained while connecting the black box to the TV.

"So we are going to what… play games?" I asked incredulously, crossing my arms across my chest.

"Yep."

"I don't know how to play, Emmett," I tried to protest but he just waved it off and tossed one of the two smaller objects he'd brought with him on the bed. Now I recognized it as the game controller.

"I'm going to introduce you to the awesomness that is Need for Speed," he announced, sitting down on the edge of the bed, the second controller in his hand. The TV was already turned on and the main menu of the game was on the screen.

I was eying the buttons on my controller warily while Emmett explained the game to me. He then showed me how to play and which buttons to press and it didn't seem that difficult.

"So the point is to beat you at the race," I said slowly, moving forward on the bed so I was Emmett's level now. He surprised me by pulling the chair toward the bed so I could lay my leg on it.

"Yep. But don't get too excited. There's no way you can beat me," boasted Emmett and proceeded to choose a car.

"We'll see," I mumbled. He had yet to experience my competitive streak.

We started to play and, to Emmett's delight, I lost the first ten races. I was determined to beat him at least once though. I hated losing and Emmett's smug face was beginning to annoy me. At some point I found myself in the lead for most of the race but he still managed to beat me in the end. I didn't want to show my frustration so I kept myself from throwing the controller against the wall. I knew it would only delight Emmett more.

"Rosalie wants you to go hunting with her, Emmett," said Edward's voice from the door. From the corner of my eye I saw Emmett's body freeze. "She's thinking about going to the 'special place' near the Canadian border. The things I've seen in her head…" Emmett's head whipped around and I noticed his car go off the track on the screen. I took the opportunity and sped up, crossing the line before he could refocuse on the game.

"Yes!" I yelled, punching the air with my fist.

Emmett's head quickly turned back to me and he narrowed his eyes. "That doesn't count!"

"Oh, it does. I won!"

"You didn't!"

"I did!"

"No, I want to play again," Emmett said stubbornly, throwing a glare behind his shoulder. I felt a cold pair of arms snake around my shoulders and I leaned against Edward's chest.

"I wasn't lying, Emmett. Rosalie's waiting for you downstairs," Edward said, kissing the top of my head.

Emmett jumped off the bed but then he turned to me, pointing at me with his finger. "It's not over, little witch. The same time tomorrow. He won't help you next time."

"Can't wait, big vamp." I grinned at him, tossing the controller on the bed where he'd been sitting before. He grinned back and went to punch Edward on the shoulder but Edward dodged his attempt easily. Emmett grumbled something under his breath and finally left the room.

Edward gently took me by the arms and moved us up the bed so he could lean against the headboard while I snuggled into his arms. I lifted my head so I could see his face. "Poor Emmett. That was really mean of you," I said with a giggle, not really feeling sorry for Emmett at all.

Edward grinned, shrugging. "It's not my fault that he's so easily distracted. Besides, he'd kept you from me long enough." He then smiled at me, kissing my forehead. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

"Yes," I said with a nod and he raised his eyebrows expectantly. "I need you to kiss me."

He chuckled. "I think that can be arranged," he said quietly and leaned forward, cupping my face in his hand. He placed a soft kiss on my nose and then kissed me on my mouth for the first time since the accident. I sighed happily, slowly running my hands up his arms, to his shoulders and finally my fingers weaved into his soft hair. I started gently massaging his scalp, having noticed before that he liked it, and Edward let out a quiet moan against my lips. Suddenly I was lying on my back with Edward hovering above me, supporting his weight on his forearms. His kisses became more urgent, passionate, like he couldn't get enough of me.

Soon I realized that I was getting out of breath so I tried breathing through my nose but it wasn't that easy. Edward must have noticed my struggles because he pulled away slightly and after one last kiss he pressed his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily, his lips twitching slightly.

"I missed you today," I whispered, tracing my thumbs under his still closed eyes. When he finally opened them, his eyes were a little darker than they were supposed to be so shortly after his hunt two days ago. I felt smug that I could affect him like that.

"I missed you too," he mumbled, placing another soft kiss on my lips. Then he moved so now he was lying on his side, his head supported by his hand, his free hand running up and down my arm. "So I was thinking today…" he trailed off.

"About?"

"Well, what are you planning for Thanksgiving?"

His question surprised me. "I haven't really thought about it, to be honest," I admitted. I hadn't celebrated Thanksgiving the last five years so it had completely slipped my mind. "I'll probably just have dinner with Charlie or something." I shrugged.

"What would you think about going to see your mother?"

"Oh." I frowned, biting my lower lip. Edward smoothened it gently with the tip of his thumb, waiting for my more elaborate answer. The idea wasn't actually that bad. I did miss Renee even though I was used to spending even longer periods of time without both of my parents. On the other hand it would mean four days without Edward and I definitely wasn't used to _that_. "I think I can call her and see if she has anything planned," I said. "But I'd miss you…"

He smiled, gently tracing my lips with his fingertip. "I thought she wanted to see me."

"You want to come with me?" My eyes widened with surprise. Then my excitement faded a little. "But… she lives in Florida."

"So?"

I rolled my eyes. "It's sunny in Florida," I said slowly.

"So?" he said again, smirking.

"You can't go out in the sun!" I exclaimed impatiently. He laughed at my expression, throwing his head back. I narrowed my eyes in mock irritation, swatting his chest, though secretly I was enjoying the sound of his laughter. I'd missed it these past few days. "I'm serious, Edward."

"Let me worry about that, sweetheart," he said and I smiled at the term of endearment. "So, you want to go?"

"Yeah, I want to go."

* * *

On Tuesday I was finally allowed to lie on the couch in the living room so I spent most of the morning talking with Esme while she was making me lunch and cleaning. I also called Renee to ask her about Thanksgiving. She was thrilled when I told her that I would like to come for a visit and bring Edward with me. She immediately started making plans where she would take us until I had to stop her and tell her that Edward can't go out in the sun because of his too sensitive skin. It was something Edward had come up with last night and I thought it was brilliant. In a way it was actually true. Renee didn't let that discourage her and said that we would just go out after sunset.

In the afternoon, Emmett wanted another round of Need for Speed since he'd clearly not come to terms with losing the last game yesterday. Sadly, I still wasn't able to beat him without Edward's help and Emmett's gleeful face made me want to kick him.

I received good news Wednesday morning when Amelia came to check on me. She said my leg was healing nicely and told me to make a few steps around the room. It didn't hurt, only tugged a little, so I was allowed to walk short distances, as long as I avoided stairs. I could also use my wand now which made me want to jump in the air with joy.

By Thursday afternoon I was sick of staying in the house so after he came home from school, Edward took pity on me and took me to the meadow. The weather was quite cold but at least it wasn't raining and the sun even peeped out from behind the gray clouds occasionally. There were still remnants of our last visit in the meadow – the fire ring and some firewood spread around it. I made a fire and then we spread the blanket we'd brought with us on the slightly wet ground.

I lay down with my eyes closed, letting the slight breeze fan my face. It felt good being finally outside. I felt Edward sit down next to me. He took my hand and played with my fingers but stayed quiet. I opened my eyes, looking at him. He was sitting cross-legged, staring ahead of him with a thoughtful expression.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, curious.

He sighed, looking down at me. "There are still some things we need to talk about," he said softly.

I sat up, shifting toward him. "I know." I had been thinking a lot these past few days and waited for the opportunity to talk to Edward alone.

He shortly bit his lower lip, looking like he couldn't decide how to start. "Alice has been hiding her thoughts from me," he stated after a few moments of indecision.

I just nodded. I'd hoped she would and it had been a relief when Edward hadn't brought up my decision.

"She also stopped showing me what you were doing when we were at school," he went on, looking at me accusingly. I raised my eyebrows questioningly but he just shrugged. "What? School is boring."

"Sure it is."

He drew a deep breath. "Anyway, I figured that her blocking me had something to do with you."

"Maybe," I mumbled, lowering my eyes to the blanket we were sitting on. I wasn't sure what his reaction to my decisions would be so now I was trying to stall a little.

"Tell me, Bella," he said, gently lifting my chin with the tip of his finger, making me look at him. "Please?"

I sighed, knowing I couldn't put it off any longer. "I've been thinking about my future," I admitted, trying to avoid my gaze but he was still keeping his finger under my chin.

"Oh," he said, frowning a little. "And what did you come up with?" he asked softly.

I bit my lip nervously but then I straightened my shoulders, determined to tell him my plans no matter what. "Well, since I have no idea how long this war in Britain will last, I've decided to make plans for the future in case it lasts longer than the end of the school year." I took a deep breath. "First I want to learn as many sixth year spells as possible and also finally manage Apparition without splitting myself in half." I meant it as a joke but Edward's pained expression made me regret it immediately.

"Sorry," I muttered quickly, placing my palm on his right cheek. He calmed down slightly and nodded for me to continue. "Anyway, I want to finish my magical education and if I'm unable to go back to Hogwats for my last year, I'd like to talk to Amelia or Toby and see if I could finish it at the American school." Edward frowned slightly but I thought I knew what he was about to say. "I'll ask if there's the possibility of homeschooling. It had been an option in Hogwarts before the Death Eaters took over."

He looked relieved and I had to laugh. Edward rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "And after you finish school?"

I looked him right in the eyes so he wouldn't doubt this part of my decision. "Then you or Carlisle are going to change me," I said firmly.

He froze, hissing in a sharp breath. "No."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh, come on, Edward. You know it has to happen! How else is our relationship supposed to work?"

"I can't do it, Bella," he said and the pained expression was back. "Not to you."

"What do you mean?"

He gritted his teeth and roughly pointed at himself. "This… existence… you have no idea what it entails. It would mean no sleep, no real food, hiding from the sun. And the thirst? It's a constant burning in your throat. It never really goes away, no matter how much you feed. And if you have an accident and drink from humans… you never stop regretting it. And I know you said you didn't want children but… you just can't know that at seventeen, Bella."

I listened to all of this with what I hoped was a stoic expression. "Are you done?" I said, fighting to stay calm. Edward narrowed his eyes at me but before he could say something I went on. "Food or sleep aren't that important to me though out of all the things you've said I'd miss them the most. I'd be still able to go in the sun, just not in public, and that really doesn't bother me. The thirst – well, you all seemed to manage somehow." I shrugged. "And I'll have all of you to keep me from killing humans. And the children? Well, the only man I'd ever want to have children with, _if_ I ever even wanted them, is you and since that's not possible then I'd rather not have them at all. I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel the same way in a few years."

He opened his mouth and closed it again as I disproved all his arguments one by one. After a few moments he seemed to find another one though. "The transformation is extremely painful, Bella. It's three days of seemingly endless burning. It hurts so much that you'd beg for death. I can't let you go through that."

That was actually something I'd been trying to avoid thinking about. I wasn't exactly looking forward to the pain but now I put on a brave face. "And I can't let you kill yourself or live forever in misery if I died, Edward. Three days of pain are nothing compared to _that_ ," I hissed. As I watched his face, I got the feeling that there was something else behind his refusal of me becoming a vampire. "What is the real reason, Edward?"

His eyes went wide with surprise and he quickly looked away, pressing his lips into a thin line.

"Edward?" I scrambled up to my knees, cupping his face, making him look at me. "Tell me."

"I can't destroy your soul, Bella," he whispered with pleading eyes.

I blinked in surprise, sitting down on my heels. "What?" He just sighed, averting his gaze again. "You… you think you don't have a soul?" I nearly squeaked. A laugh escaped my throat before I could stop it.

His eyes snapped back at me, now looking irritated. "You think it's funny?" he said through gritted teeth.

"I'm… I'm sorry," I stammered, taking a deep, calming breath. "But this is ridiculous. Of course you have a soul, Edward."

He shook his head slowly. "You can't know that."

"Actually, I can."

He snorted disbelievingly. I rolled my eyes and went on, "If you didn't have a soul, your body would be just an empty shell. Alive yes, but you wouldn't be able to think, talk or feel. And there's only one way to lose your soul and it's _not_ by turning into a vampire."

"And the way is?" he asked doubtfully.

"I'll tell you another time." I rose back to my knees, cupping his face again. "The important think is that you do have a soul, and a beautiful one at that."

He was staring at my face, searching for something, probably if I was lying or not. "Do you really mean that?" he whispered after a minute or so and I could hear what sounded like hope in his voice.

"Yes. You can ask Toby in the next lesson, if you don't believe me."

He closed his eyes, dropping his forehead against mine. I snaked my fingers into his hair on the back of his head, running them through it repeatedly. We stayed like that for a few minutes.

"Do you still want to go back if there is a battle?" he asked, pulling slightly away to look at me.

I sighed. "I don't know. I mean… I'm sure that if I was asked to help and didn't go then I would regret it forever. My friends are there and I would always think that I could have helped somehow if something happened to them. On the other side… I have _you_ here and I know now that it would kill you if something happened to me. I wish I could just take you with me."

Edward shook his head sadly. "There would be blood, Bella. I would do more damage than help…"

"I know, that's why I never brought it up." I sighed again, laying my head on his shoulder. "I don't know what I'll do."

"We'll think of something, sweetheart," he murmured, gently rubbing my back. He sounded surprisingly slightly more positive than mere minutes ago.

* * *

When we got back, Alice was waiting for us on the porch. She flew down the stairs and stood in front of us in a second, just as I climbed off Edward's back. She bounced on her feet, hugging me like she hadn't seen me for months.

"What is it, Alice?" said Edward, frowning, before I could ask the same.

"You have to talk to Amelia," she blurted out.

"What? Why?" I asked, confused.

"About what you talked in the meadow - " She turned to Edward so quickly, that I hadn't even seen the movement. "Sorry, I didn't mean to spy, really." Then she turned back to me and finally started explaining what was all that about. "I wanted to give you privacy but I can't help it. I always see the decisions, even if I try to ignore most of them. But this time I had the feeling that what you talked about was somehow important… Anyway, when you told Edward that you wished you could take him with you to Britain if there was a battle, Amelia's face suddenly appeared in my mind."

"So you think she might know how to get around blood?" asked Edward with wrinkled brows.

"Maybe? I tried to decide to ask her but all I could see was me talking to her. I don't know what she will say."

I rubbed my hand over my face, suddenly exhausted, and leaned against Edward's chest. His arms embraced me from behind but when I glanced up at him, he was still looking at Alice, now probably reading whatever she was showing him.

"We'll talk to her when she comes to check on Bella," Edward said at last, rubbing my arms. "Thank you, Alice." Then he bent down and kissed the top of my head. "Let's get you upstairs, Bella, you look tired."

 **A/N: I just want to thank all of you who took the time and left a review or added this story to alerts or favourites. I really appreciate it, so thank you!**

 **J.**


	11. Hope and Trust

**Chapter eleven**

Amelia came to check on me Friday afternoon. My leg felt almost completely normal, only slightly weaker than the other but, as Carlisle had said, that should be normal. Amelia checked my scar, which was now really thin though still more pink than the rest of my body. I didn't have to wear bandages anymore and I was finally allowed to move freely. The only thing Amelia still wouldn't let me do was using the Floo Network for at least another week.

I sighed. It meant that I would have to rely on the Cullens to get me to Charlie's and back.

"Amelia?" I said when she was getting ready to leave.

"Yes?"

"Can I – we… talk to you about something?" I bit my lip, glancing at Edward who was sitting on the couch next to me, holding my hand. I noticed Alice had appeared in the living room too with Jasper right behind her. Of course, she knew what I wanted to ask Amelia.

"Of course," said Amelia and took a seat in an armchair, facing me.

"Um…" I wasn't really sure how to start. "I heard about a potion that can make werewolves calmer during full moon."

"The Wolfsbane potion, yes." Amelia nodded.

"So I was wondering if there is something similar for vampires. Something that can lessen the bloodlust maybe?"

By now the rest of the family had gathered in the living room, including Carlisle who apparently couldn't miss such an interesting conversation.

Amelia sighed, leaning back in her armchair. "If there was such a thing, I would have told you when we first met," she said, looking around. My shoulders sagged in resignation. I mean, I hadn't really hoped for a positive answer, but I still couldn't help feeling disappointed.

"But," she went on, smiling a little at my expression and turning to Carlisle, "after the MACUSA found out about the relationship between Bella and your family, there have been talks about restarting the attempts to make a potion with the effects Bella's just asked for."

"Restarting?" said Carlisle, who had perched himself on the armrest of the couch I was sitting on. "Does it mean it had been attempted before?"

Amelia sighed. "Yes, there have been attempts. The last one was over twenty years ago." Her expression made me think that it hadn't ended well.

"What happened?" I asked. Esme went to stand next to Carlisle and Emmett plopped himself down on one of the armchairs opposite us, pulling Rosalie down onto his lap. She smacked the back of his head lightly, rolling her eyes. After that, everyone's eyes landed on Amelia.

Amelia had been watching them with amusement. "I guess I should let Angela know that I'll be late for dinner," she said, shaking her head.

"I already texted her," Alice informed her, smiling innocently.

Amelia opened her mouth, then closed it again, letting out another sigh. "Well, thank you, Alice." Alice just shrugged, looking at Amelia expectantly. It looked like she was trying not to see what would happen next. I briefly wondered what it must have been like being inside Alice's mind. I'd have to ask Edward sometime. Right now though I forced my attention back to Amelia.

"So, as I said, there have been attempts to make a potion for vampires that would lessen the bloodlust," she started. "But our inventors had never gotten too far because they couldn't find a vampire who would be able to help with the testing. Until about twenty years ago when the Congress cooperated with a vampire who knew about our existence. It was the perfect opportunity to try again. It took a long time to prepare the potion but the man that had invented it was very confident about its effects…"

She paused, looking lost in thoughts.

"What happened?" I asked again in a whisper.

"The effects were quite the opposite of what they'd expected. The vampire went completely wild with thirst, he managed to destroy almost a whole town near Boston before the aurors stopped him. Even the Volturi had to be summoned. He killed a hundred and twenty-six people and the Volturi had to kill other thirty-two people that were in the process of transformation. The rest of the town had to be obliviated."

Her words were followed by a complete silence. Everyone stared at her with a shocked expression.

"How did you manage to cover this up? People must have noticed when so many people disappeared?" I asked after I recovered from the shock.

"Tornado," Amelia said. "A natural disaster is usually the cover story for such a situation."

"So now they're thinking about starting again?" asked Jasper after a few moments of silence.

"Yes." Amelia nodded. "Of course there are some people that are strongly against the idea but most of our researchers and potion experts are ready to accept the challenge."

"And when did you want to tell us?" asked Rosalie in her usual offhand manner.

Amelia didn't let Rosalie's tone affect her. "After it has been approved by the Congress. It's the final step needed for the whole process to begin."

"Can we do something to help?" asked Carlisle eagerly. "Maybe with the testing? Or research?"

"I'll talk to my brother. He works at the Congress so he would know who to ask. I'll let you know." Then Amelia's expression turned thoughtful. "Bella… Why did you bring it up?"

"Um…" I hesitated, looking around. Alice nodded encouragingly for me to just go on. I sighed, turning back to Amelia. "We… I mean, Edward and I, we talked about the future and we thought that if it came to the point that I would have to go back to Britain to help my friends… well, that it would be great if he could come with me."

Amelia nodded. "The future, yes. That's actually something I've been wondering about. What is your plan, Bella?" Her eyes flickered between me and Edward and I knew immediately what she meant.

I could feel Edward's eyes on me but he wasn't the only one waiting for my answer. The room fell quiet and everyone looked curiously at me. "Well, we've talked about it too," I started. Edward gently squeezed my hand. "And I think that there's only one way for our relationship to work." I took a deep breath. "I have to become a vampire at some point."

"You don't have to do anything," Edward murmured but I ignored him, still looking at Amelia. The others were still quiet so I glanced around. Most of them were smiling at me and Jasper looked relieved. Only Rosalie was frowning, shaking her head.

"I knew you would come to that conclusion, Bella," said Amelia, interrupting my thoughts. I turned back to her, noticing something was off in her tone. "There's something you should know, though."

"And what is that?"

"There has never been a relationship like yours," she said, her eyes on mine and Edward's hands that were entwined together. "Also, no witch or wizard has ever been turned into a vampire. We don't know what would happen to your magic. You would most likely become very powerful, and we don't know if it would be possible to control you."

I stared at her with my mouth open. I'd never really thought about it. "Oh," was all I was capable of saying.

"She will have us," said Emmett suddenly. "We'll make sure she wouldn't go too insane with thirst." He winked at me, grinning widely.

"What if Bella waited until the potion is ready?" said Esme, speaking for the first time. "Maybe it would help with the thirst of newborns too."

"Possibly," Amelia agreed. "If someone was able to make it in the first place."

"I want to wait anyway," I said quickly.

"My point is, Bella," Amelia pressed on, her eyes on me now, "that you should know about the consequences. I'm not trying to discourage you. I can see that what you and Edward have is quite unique and it would be really hard, if not impossible, to maintain the relationship with you staying human. However, I'm pretty sure you would need a special permission from the Congress or, if you decided to go back to Britain, the British Ministry before you decide to go through the transformation."

"Would it be hard to get?" I asked, frowning.

"I don't know," said Amelia, shrugging. "As I said, there's never been a situation like this. If I have to guess though, you would need someone to vouch for you. Someone who would ensure the Congress that you would be no danger to other people."

"If there never has been such a situation, how can we vouch for her?" asked Edward worriedly.

"That's something we'll have to figure out," said Amelia, glancing at her watch. "Now, I really have to go. I will talk to my brother about the potion and about Bella's transformation. I'll get in touch when I know anything."

For the rest of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about everything Amelia had said. I couldn't believe I'd never considered what would the Change do to my magic. I hated the idea of being an uncontrollable bloodthirsty monster. I couldn't even imagine myself like that.

I sighed for at least a hundredth time, gripping Edward's shirt tightly. We were lying on his bed, watching a movie. Or at least trying to. I couldn't concentrate on anything.

I felt Edward's lips kissing the top of my head. "Bella, stop thinking about it," he murmured into my hair.

I frowned, lifting my head. "How do you know what I'm thinking about?"

He rolled his eyes at me, chuckling. "It's really not that hard to guess."

I narrowed my eyes at him. He looked suspiciously calm and relaxed, like what Amelia had said didn't really bother him. "Why are you so calm? Doesn't it bother you that I might turn into a wild uncontrollable monster?" I voiced my thoughts.

Edward sighed, turning off the TV, and looked back at me with a slight frown. "You could never be a monster to me, Bella," he said in a low, intense voice. "But there's no point worrying about it now when we can do nothing but wait for the Congress to decide what to do."

"You're right, I guess," I mumbled with yet another sigh. "I thought that you would be the one to worry about that."

He just shrugged. "Well, I have all night to think about it. Right now I want to enjoy being with you." He smiled, kissing my forehead, the tip of my nose and finally my lips. Just like that, all scary thoughts fled my mind, being replaced by the amazing taste of his lips on mine.

Sunday morning Charlie called, asking me to come home. He sounded determined but also a little tired. Since I still couldn't use the Floo, Edward offered to run with me. We waited until after Esme made lunch so I could take it with me to Charlie, because I was sure he didn't have anything to eat at home. I wondered how he'd managed to survive the whole week.

We had to take a slight detour on our way to Charlie's since it was Sunday afternoon and we had to avoid running into people. We came through the backyard as usual and Charlie was already waiting for us on the back porch. He had a beer in his hand and stared ahead of him with a thoughtful expression.

"So, you can walk again, huh," he said after greeting us. He still was a little short with Edward but at least he didn't appear angry.

"I told you I can," I said, rolling my eyes. I had been informing him about my condition for the whole week.

"You could have been lying." He shrugged, motioning for us to come inside.

I wanted to say that I wouldn't do that to him, but realized that he'd probably taken the fact that the Cullens were more dangerous than he'd thought as a lie.

"Well, I didn't," was all I said.

I showed him the bag with lunch from Esme but he surprised me by saying that he'd already eaten. I raised my eyebrows curiously but walked into the kitchen to put the lunch in the fridge. As I opened it, I gasped in shock. It was fully stocked with fresh food. I turned around, staring at Charlie in disbelief.

"What?" he said, affronted. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I'd been doing it for years."

"But still, there were only eggs and bacon in the fridge when I arrived in September," I pointed out with a smirk.

Charlie shrugged again, taking a seat at the kitchen table. I and Edward joined him but I was still looking at my dad with raised eyebrows.

Finally he sighed, rolling his eyes. "Sue Clearwater might have stopped by yesterday with a few things." His cheeks went pink and he cleared his throat loudly.

I bit my lip to keep myself from grinning at him. I was sure he wouldn't appreciate it until after we talked.

Charlie sighed, rubbing his face, but then he straightened his shoulders and looked directly at the two of us. "So," he started, "I've been thinking a lot this week. It…" He sighed again. "It's not easy for me to accept that my only daughter is in danger everytime she's with her boyfriend, you know."

I glanced at Edward worriedly. He was looking at Charlie, his face unreadable, but I could feel the tension coming from him in waves. I placed my hand on his back to calm him and he relaxed slightly.

"I would never hurt her," Edward said quietly.

"You keep saying that," said Charlie gruffly. Then his tone softened a bit. "I know you feel… very strongly about her. I can see it. Even now, her presence is calming to you. That's the only reason why I've decided to just let it go." I stared at him with my mouth open. That was easier than I'd thought. "It wasn't an easy decision, Bella," Charlie went on, seeing my expression, "but I realized that I really couldn't do anything about it if I didn't want you to hate me."

"I wouldn't - " I started but he put his hand up to stop me so I shut up.

"I also want you to be happy and you do look happy with him." Then he shifted his eyes to Edward, giving him a stern look. "Of course, if you ever hurt her, physically or otherwise, I swear to God I'll find a way to kill you even if it took me the rest of my life. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Edward said without hesitation. He seemed to take Charlie's threat seriously.

"I want to ask you for something, though," Charlie went on, now sounding as determined as he had on the phone earlier.

"What?"

"That you won't keep secrets from me anymore. I understand why you'd had to do it before I knew about the Cullens but I have no patience for it anymore. I want you to know that you can trust me… Let me finish, Bella," he said with a frown as I opened my mouth. I closed it again and let him continue. "So you can trust me and I want to trust you, too. From now on, I expect complete honesty from both of you and your family, Edward." His eyes had moved to Edward as he spoke.

Edward slowly nodded, turning his head to me, looking at me with raised eyebrows. I sighed. I knew what that look meant. If we were going with the complete honesty policy, I would have to tell Charlie about my plans for the future.

So I took a deep breath and just told him.

I watched Charlie warily after I'd finished telling him about my planning on becoming a vampire at some point in the future. I'd told him all about Amelia's last visit and the possibility of a potion for vampires, as well as my plans to finish my education either in Britain or in America.

I'd been expecting him to be angry again but so far his expression was… stoic. His eyes kept flickering between me and Edward and our joined hands on the table.

Then he suddenly stood up and walked to the fridge to grab another beer. I looked at Edward anxiously but he was watching Charlie, his face giving nothing away.

"Dad?" I said in an unusually high voice.

Charlie took a long swig of the beer, placing it on the table before he sat down again.

"Can't say I didn't expect it," he said at last, taking me by surprise. "Don't look at me like that, Bella. Carlisle and Esme told me what happens when a vampire falls in love. That it's permanent. And I can see that he's the one for you, too." Than his lips twitched under his mustache. "And I have to admit that I like the idea of you being basically indestructible. But," he leaned forward on his elbows, suddenly serious again, "I want you to be sure that it's what _you_ want. That you want a life like this," he pointed at Edward, "and that you won't regret it in the future."

I wanted to smile at how familiar these words were. "Edward told me the same thing," I said, glancing at Edward. He looked as shocked as I felt by Charlie's words. "But I don't want to just rush into this. I'd probably have to get a permission from the Magical Congress first…"

I explained about the uniqueness of our relationship and that we didn't know what my change would do to my magic. I also told him about my fears of being an uncotrollable newborn. Charlie looked confused and Edward then explained that new vampires – newborns – are particularly volatile and wild with thirst.

"And magic would make her even more so?" asked Charlie with a frown.

"That's what we're afraid of." Edward nodded. "If my mind-reading came just from how I could sense other people's intentions as a human, as is Carlisle's theory, then Bella's full developed magical energy could turn into something… unpredictable."

"Well, then I'll move to the Antarctic or the North Pole so I wouldn't hurt anyone," I said, meaning it as a joke but suddenly the idea didn't seem that bad. I turned to Edward. "Can we actually do that?"

"We can suggest it to the others," he said, his lips twitching slightly. "We have time to think about it, Bella. If you're sure that's what you want, then we'll find a way." He sounded more optimistic now and I sighed in relief.

After a few more minutes Edward decided to go home, so I'd have some alone time with Charlie. He promised to be back later and asked me to text him when I was ready to go to bed.

While we were eating dinner – I'd heated up the spaghetti from Esme – I told Charlie about my week at the Cullens. He found my attempts at videogaming quite amusing and I was glad that he seemed more relaxed now. I also told him about my plans to go visit Renee on Thanksgiving and that I wanted to take Edward with me.

"Are you going to tell her what he is?" Charlie asked, pushing away his now empty plate.

"I don't know, Dad," I said with a sigh. "I think I'm going to have to tell her something but maybe not _exactly_ what he is."

He looked at me thoughtfully, creasing his forehead a little. "Yeah, telling her the truth would not be the best option. She's always been a little… sensitive when it came to certain things."

"Like my magic." I grimaced, pulling out my wand to send the empty plate to the kitchen sink.

He looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry she's been like that. She should have supported you."

"It's okay, Dad," I said with a sigh, standing up. I walked around the table and put my arms around his shoulders. "At least one parent has been supporting me. Thank you for everything." I tightened my arms around him briefly and he awkwardly patted my hand. "I'm going to bed now."

I made a few steps toward the door when he called after me. "Bella?"

I turned around. "Yes?"

His face was red though this time he didn't look angry but embarrassed. "Um… I just… I've been wondering if… well, if you and Edward… if you're being, you know, _careful._ " My eyes nearly popped out as I realized what he was talking about and my face felt like it was on fire. I started to stammer something but Charlie didn't let me. "Sorry, it's just that he's so strong and he could hurt you!" He blurted out quickly.

"No! I mean yes!" I squeaked and closed my eyes, shaking my head to calm down a little. "It's not… we haven't even… Ugh!" I opened my eyes again. "Look, I know you said you want us to be honest with you but I'm drawing the line here, okay?"

"I don't want the details, Bella," he said defensively, putting his hands up in a peace making gesture. "There's just so much a father can bear to know about his little girl's love life." I calmed down a little, raising my eyebrow. "I just want to make sure he treats you with respect, that's all."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Dad. Edward was born in 1901. He's the picture of respect," I said. I couldn't help the slight bitterness that had crept into my tone.

"Good," Charlie said with a satisfied nod, his arms across his chest.

After that, I excused myself and ran up the stairs into my room. I sent a quick text to Edward and grabbed my toilet bag and pyjamas. I was going to have a long, hot shower to calm my nerves.

Edward was already laying on my bed when I got out of the bathroom. I climbed in the bed, raising an eyebrow at the smirk on his face.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said with a shrug, but the smirk was still there. Then he pulled me to him, kissing my lips. "Did you have a good… chat… with Charlie?"

I pulled away slightly, narrowing my eyes at him suspiciously. "Why?" His smirk turned into a full grin now. "How long have you been waiting outside?" Then I gasped, feeling mortified. "God, you heard us!"

Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "I just arrived, Bella. But I was with Alice when she had a vision…" he trailed off, grinning.

I groaned, burying my head into his chest. "Sometimes I really hate your and Alice's Gifts," I mumbled into his shirt. I felt him shaking with a silent laughter.

"So, you really think I'm the picture of respect?" He sounded amused but I still refused to look at him so I just nodded against his chest. I felt his fingers running soothingly up and down my spine which was in stark contrast with his teasing words. "I can assure you that although I'm trying to treat you with respect, my thoughts are far from respectful, especially when you moan my name in your sleep," he whispered in my ear, his voice hoarse.

I gasped, feeling even more embarrassed, if it was possible. He placed the tips of his fingers under my chin, lifting my head gently so I would look at him. He cupped my face, a teasing smile on his lips. "You have no idea how hard is it for me," he smirked a little, "to just lay here and not to do something about it."

Maybe it was the way he looked at me, all teasing and smug and sexy, that made my brain cells evaporate. "Why don't you?" I blurted out.

Of course it was the wrong thing to say because his face suddenly lost all traces of amusement. "Because I don't want to kill you," he said through gritted teeth.

"I'm… I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," I stamnered out, mentally cursing my own stupidity.

He sighed, dropping his head back against the headboard, shaking his head. "No. I am sorry. I shouldn't have been teasing you like that. I don't know what's gotten into me."

"Don't apologize, Edward," I said quickly before he started beating himself over it. "I liked it."

He snorted, rolling his eyes. "I was embarrassing you, Bella."

"A little," I admitted with a shrug. "But I still liked it. Well except the fact that my brain has apparently decided to take a vacation." I grimaced.

He laughed and pulled me closer to him. "You have no idea how much I want to be with you like that," he murmured into my hair. "I'm just so scared that I would hurt you," he admitted in a whisper.

"We agreed to take it slow, remember?" I lifted my head to look at him. He nodded catiously. "We will learn how to be together, Edward." Then something occured to me and I frowned. "Um… you don't want to wait until we get married, do you?"

His eyebrows shot up and he let out a surprised laugh. "Now, that's an interesting idea," he teased, his face lighting up with a grin.

"No!" I exclaimed, blushing furiously again. "I mean… we've been together for barely two months and I'm only seventeen and…" I was rambling until Edward placed two fingers on my lips to shut me up.

"Relax, Bella. I'm not planning on proposing to you." He chuckled and then added with a wicked grin, "Yet."

"Funny." I rolled my eyes with a huff.

"But to answer your very interesting question," he said with a wink. "No, I don't think I want to wait that long. I think sex was one of the reasons people got married young when I was human and since now it's normal to 'live in a sin'," he made air quotes with his fingers, making me giggle, "we don't have to hurry with marriage." Then he turned serious again. "But I will want to be sure that you'll be mine forever before we make that step, Bella."

"You want to wait until I'm like you?" That too seemed like a long time to me since I wanted to finish my education first.

Fortunatelly, Edward had the same thoughts as me. "Um, I was hoping it would happen sooner than that."

"Thank God!" I breathed out in relief. „But Edward? I am yours already," I whispered and his answering smile was dazzling.


	12. Surprising Revelation

**Chapter twelve**

The days before Thanksgiving passed fairly quickly. I resumed my routine from before the accident so I spent days at the Cullens with Esme and then the others and nights at Charlie's.

My lessons with Toby started again on Tuesday. We agreed on postponing our Apparition training until after Christmas and concentrated on defensive and even a few offensive spells Toby wanted me to know. Though he was as willing to help as always, I noticed he looked very tired and worried even though he tried to hide it.

Well, maybe he could hide it from me but not from an empath.

Jasper approached him catiously at the end of our lesson and asked him point blank what was bothering him.

"Nothing's bothering me, I'm fine," Toby said but suddenly found his bag very interesting. Jasper didn't say anything, just kept looking at him. We were alone in the living room, just me, Toby and now Jasper, the others were giving us some space now that the novelty of magic had sort of worn off.

"Well, you do look tired," I pointed out with a shrug. "If you have a lot of work, maybe we could - "

"I said I'm fine," Toby snapped but immediately calmed down. I glanced at Jasper and he was still watching him, now with his arms crossed.

Suddenly Edward appeared by my side, glaring at Toby. I had no idea where he'd been during our lesson but he must have been close to get here so quickly.

"It's okay, Edward," I said, touching his arm. "I'm sure Toby didn't mean it, right?" I turned to Toby who sighed and sat back down on the couch.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, burying his head in his hands. Then he looked up when the rest of the family came to the room, apparently curious about our little argument. Toby shook his head and sighed again. "It's just some problems at home, nothing serious."

I frowned. "Does your family not want you to teach me?" He'd never really talked about his family before so I had no idea if he was married or not.

"No, that's not a problem." He rubbed his face and leaned against the backrest. "My mother ended up in the hospital after accidentally eating a poisonous plant and until she gets home, I have no one to babysit my daughter."

I wasn't the only one surprised by this revelation. "You have a daughter?" asked Esme from the kitchen doorway. Toby just nodded. "Where is she now?"

"At my sister's. But she and her husband are leaving for Japan tomorrow."

Biting my lip, I was about to ask the one obvious question but Rosalie beat me to it. "Where is her mother?" She was standing by the back door, dressed in her overalls, holding a wrench in her hand.

"She left when Sarah was a baby," Toby started, looking more tired than ever before. "She was a no-maj and I was afraid to tell her about magic. But then… she got pregnant and I had to tell her because there was a chance the baby would be magical too. At first she seemed to be okay with it but after Sarah was born it got harder for her to keep the secret. Then one day, when Sarah was about six months old, Hannah just left, leaving me a letter in which she told me to take care of our daughter."

There was silence after he finished.

"How could she?" Rosalie was now standing a few steps from us, looking furious. "How could she just leave?"

I gaped at her. Rosalie never struck me as the maternal type but clearly there were a lot of things I didn't know about her. Emmett walked to her slowly, putting his huge hand on her shoulder. She calmed down a little but still stared at Toby, clearly expecting an answer.

"I don't know," Toby said quietly. "I never talked to her again."

Then Esme took a seat next to him on the couch. "How old is your daughter?" she asked with a small smile.

Suddenly, Toby's face lit up with a gentle smile. I'd never seen him smile like that before. It was clear that his daughter was everything to him. "She's five."

"Does she go to school yet?" Esme asked another question and I wondered where she was getting with it.

"No… she will be homeschooled before she starts her magical education."

I wasn't surprised by that. Homeschooling before starting Hogwarts was normal in British wizarding families and I'd supposed it was the same here. There was something about his answer that made me frown though. "But what if she's not magical? My magic didn't start showing before I was six," I pointed out.

"There are ways to see if someone is magical before that age, Bella," said Toby, skipping into his teacher mode. "You just have to know what you're looking for."

"So, what are you going to do?" Esme continued with her questions. She didn't sound pushy though, her tone was gentle and caring.

"I will have to take the rest of the week off but I can't really afford more than that," he said with a sigh. "I hope my mother will be released soon or I don't know what I'll do." He sounded rather desperate, running his hand through his hair which reminded me of Edward. Then he looked at me. "I'm afraid I will have to cancel our next lesson this week, Bella."

"Or, you can bring your daughter here with you," Esme suggested.

I felt Edward tense beside me and Jasper drew a hissing breath. "It's too dangerous," Jasper said, shaking his head.

"You wouldn't hurt her," said Alice, speaking for the first time, but Jasper didn't look convinced.

"No, Alice. She's a child, therefore even more prone to accidents than Bella. I can't possibly have this on my conscience," he said, looking at Carlisle, who had been quietly watching us from the bottom of the staircase.

Carlisle walked over to Esme, stopping behind the couch where she was sitting. She looked up at him with pleading eyes and he creased his forehead thoughtfully. When he finally looked at the rest of us, his face looked resolved.

"We would have to take precautions," he said at last. "Everyone, who is not a hundred percent sure about their control will have to keep their distance or leave the house for the duration of her stay." Before anyone could protest, he turned to Toby, who was watching Carlisle incredulously. "Does your daughter know about us?"

Toby nodded cautiously. "Yes, I told her about you all. She knows you're the good guys and she even asked me to take her with me sometime." He hesitated, his eyes flickered between Jasper and Edward. "But I wouldn't bring her here if there was even the slightest chance of any of you losing control."

"I won't let anything happen to her," said Rosalie suddenly. She straightened herself up, her face and tone of her voice firm and determined. "I've never lost control in my life and I can watch over her alone if everyone else doesn't feel up to it."

Esme beamed at her, looking proud, and turned back to Toby. "Is that enough for you?"

He looked at her for what seemed like at least a minute before nodding. "Okay. I'll bring her with me on Friday."

* * *

"I didn't know Rosalie likes children," I said when I was finally laying in my bed that night, my head on Edward's chest. I couldn't stop thinking about Rosalie and her sudden desire to protect Toby's little daughter. It was so unlike her. She rarely showed her soft side, maybe except the one time when I'd seen her soothing Emmett when Edward wanted to leave.

Edward sighed, gently running his fingers up and down my side. "She does," he said quietly. "It's the reason she hates what she is."

I frowned, biting my lip. "Is it why you were so reluctant about my becoming like you? Because you can see how she regrets it?" Suddenly his words from the day when I'd told him my decision about my future made sense.

"Yes." I felt his lips kissing the top of my head. "I know she would trade anything for the chance to be human again. Or have a baby. Even Emmett."

I lifted my head at his words, gasping in surprise. "Does Emmett know it?"

"Yes."

"And he's okay with it?"

Edward shrugged. "He loves her, he would do anything for her to be happy. Even if it meant that she would leave him."

"That's…" I paused, not really sure what I wanted to say. "I don't know… I thought she loved Emmett."

"She does. And she's sort of come to terms with her life after she found him. But if she had to choose between Emmett and a child…"

"She would choose the child," I finished, shaking my head. "Poor Emmett. It must be awful to know she would do that."

"Rosalie's lucky Emmett's very easy-going and a generally happy person. He knows what she would do but he also knows it's impossible so he just let it go." I could hear a certain admiration in his voice and I understood. Emmett's nature was quite rare, not everyone would be so accepting of knowing that their partner would leave them for something else if gotten the chance.

Suddenly I felt the urge to assure him again of my feelings for him so I looked right into his eyes. "I love you and I'm not like Rosalie." I could see a flicker of doubt on his face and I pressed on. "I mean it, Edward. She didn't have the chance to make the choice about her life but I do. And I've chosen you. I'm going to say it again and again until you believe me."

He chuckled softly, shaking his head. "I want to believe you, Bella. It just seems too good to be true."

"Then you're in for a nice surprise," I said with a grin, lifting myself on my elbow and kissing him on his lips. I could feel him smile against my lips and suddenly I was laying flat on my back with him hovering above me. He kissed me with a surprising urgency, his hands weaving gently through my hair.

"I. Love. You. So. Much," he said between his kisses and my hands shot into his hair on their own accord, pulling him even closer to me. I knew he still had problems with my sudden movements but I just couldn't help it. It wasn't that often that he told me he loved me and hearing it always made me want to do things I'd never even contemplated before I'd met him.

His kisses slowed but I expected it. I was surprised that he didn't pull away immediately. It only showed that his control was getting better. He gave me one last kiss and pressed his forehead against mine. "You like pushing my control to its limits, don't you," he murmured but he didn't sound angry.

"Sorry," I breathed out, still catching my breath. " _My_ control around you is non-existent."

His face lit up with a smug grin and I rolled my eyes. "I should be sorry but I'm not," he said with a wink and rolled back onto his back, pulling me to his chest. "Now, lets not push your luck again tonight."

He kissed my temple and I sighed but I felt tired and knew that it was pointless arguing with him about my need to sleep. I snuggled even closer to him and closed my eyes. "Good night."

"Sweet dreams, sweetheart."

* * *

Friday afternoon found us all gathered in the Cullens' living room. Well, all but Jasper, who'd decided to not take any risks and had left the house as soon as he was back from school. Edward, Emmett and Alice had gone hunting last night so they could stay at home but Edward had told me he wouldn't go too close to little Sarah, just to be safe.

At exactly five o'clock the fireplace puffed to life and the ashes swirled. After a few seconds Toby appeared in it, holding a little girl who had her arms and legs wrapped around him and her head was buried in his shoulder.

Toby stepped out of the fireplace onto the grey mat Esme had placed in front of it to keep the ashes from getting on her white carpet and Sarah slid down on the floor. He put his hand on her shoulder and took his wand out of his bag, waving it first over her and then over himself. When they were both clean, Sarah turned to face us.

She was small, barely reaching Toby's waist but then he was pretty tall so maybe she just looked small compared to him. Her dark blond hair was tied up into two pigtails, one slightly higher than the other, and she was watching us curiously with her big blue eyes.

"Hey, everyone," said Toby with a nervous smile, taking Sarah's hand. "This is Sarah."

I hadn't spent much time around children her age and wasn't sure what to say so I gave her a wave and smiled. But little Sarah paid me no attention. Her eyes were fixed on something on my left and when I turned to see what had captured her attention, I saw Rosalie who was wearing a smile like I'd never seen on her face before.

"You are so pretty," said Sarah in a high voice. I turned back to her and she was still staring at Rosalie. "What's your name?"

Rosalie beamed, crouching down so she was the same level as the little girl. "Hello, Sarah. I'm Rose. You are very pretty too."

"Rose? Like the flower? I like flowers." Sarah glanced up to her father as if asking the permission to come closer to Rosalie and after his nod, she took a few tentative steps forward. "Daddy said you're vampires," she said looking around the room quickly but then her gaze turned back to Rosalie. "But you look like Veela. I saw one on a picture once."

Rosalie's eyes flickered to me uncertainly. "Um, Veela are very beautiful creatures," I explained and her face lit up even more.

"Thank you," she beamed at Sarah and extended her hand toward her. "Do you like cookies? Esme made some for you." She pointed at Esme who smiled brightly.

"Yes, please." Sarah nodded eagerly and grabbed Rosalie's hand. She didn't react to Rosalie's cold skin and let her lead the way to the kitchen with Esme right after them.

I stared after them for a moment and then looked at Edward, who was sitting on the bottom stair of the staircase next to Emmett. The huge vampire was now staring at the kitchen door, where his wife had just disappeared. His wore a soft smile and an expression I'd never seen before on him. I quickly looked at Edward who was watching me, his face unreadable.

Carlisle and Alice, who had been both silently standing there, watching, now quietly walked out of the room, closely followed by Emmett. Edward stayed sitting on the stair, his eyes still on me. I gave him a small smile and turned to Toby so we could start our lesson.

* * *

When our lesson ended an hour and a half later, I felt pretty tired. Toby had made me do all the spells we went through today nonverbally and it was extremely exhausting.

"Sarah!" Toby called out in the direction of the stairs, where Rosalie, Esme and the little girl had gone an hour earlier. "Time to go!"

"Did you figure out what to do with Sarah until your mom is back?" I asked, watching him putting on his coat.

He sighed, shaking his head. "No. I asked a few friends but no one has time and Sarah isn't very comfortable around strangers."

I raised my eyebrows at that. "She seems comfortable here."

"Yes," he said with a slight frown. "I don't know how is it possible."

Right then a high pitched giggle made us turn around. Rosalie was just putting Sarah back on her feet after apparently carrying her down the stairs. They grinned at each other and Sarah turned to her father, now pouting slightly. "I don't want to go yet, Daddy."

"We have to, it's getting late," Toby tried to reason with her.

Her frown deepened and she glanced up at Rosalie and then at Esme. "Can I come back, sometime?"

"Of course you can," Rosalie assured her quickly.

"Actually," said Esme, biting her lower lip like she wasn't sure of the reaction she would get. "I've been thinking… we could watch over Sarah while you're at work. At least until your mother is alright."

Sarah started jumping up and down, clapping her hands. "Can I stay with Rose and Esme, Daddy? Please, please, please!"

Toby looked taken aback by Esme's offer and even more so by Sarah's reaction. "Um… I don't… you would want to?" he asked her incredulously.

"Yes! Please, Daddy!" She made puppy eyes at him and he just laughed.

"You really wouldn't mind?" he now asked Esme and then looked around the others that had yet again gathered in the living room. All eyes now moved to Carlisle as if waiting for his approval.

"What about Jasper?" Carlisle said. "We can't banish him from the house."

Esme's face fell and so did Toby's. "She can stay at my house in the afternoon," I suggested before I could think it through. I didn't have any experience with dealing with children but she wasn't a baby anymore and I thought it would be a nice change from the routine.

"It wouldn't be for long, I'm usually out of work around four or five," Toby assured me.

"That's fine. I just have to ask Charlie."

We both looked back at Carlisle, who was smiling now. "In that case, I can't see why not."

Esme threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and Rosalie's smile was so wide it threatened to split her face. Sarah squeeled happily and to my utter surprise ran to me and wrapped her small arms around my waist. She looked up at me, beaming. "Thank you, Bella."

"Um… you're welcome," I said, awkwardly patting her head.

"Thank you, really," said Toby, looking relieved for the first time in weeks. "I'll bring her on Monday morning then."

* * *

Edward had been quiet all day, barely saying more than two words at a time. I let him be, concentrating on my lesson and the situation with Toby and Sarah. But when I stepped out of the bathroom before I was ready for bed that night, my patience was at its limit.

He was laying on my bed, staring ahead of him, his body tense and jaw clenched. I sighed. In the two months we'd been together I got to know him and his moods pretty well. I knew exactly what he had been thinking but I'd hoped he would get over it by himself. Apparently he would not.

"Have a little faith in me, Edward," I said, climbing on the bed next to him.

He looked at me, his eyebrows shot up in confusion. "What?"

I ignored his question. "It's kind of insulting that you don't trust me, even though I've told you so many times that I wouldn't leave you."

He jutted out his chin defiantly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Edward," I sighed out, sitting up and facing him. He was still looking at me defensively but I could see vulnerability behind it too. "I'm going to say it for the last time and you better get it stuck in that thick skull of yours." He scowled at me but I went on. "Spending time with Sarah won't change my mind about wanting children in the future. I don't want you to dwell on something that's not even a possibility for me. Please, just let it go and allow yourself to be just happy."

Edward sighed, his head dropped against the headboard. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just can't help it." Then he looked at me, the corners of his lips lifting slightly. "It's a little scary that you know me so well already."

I laughed. "You are pretty predictable, you know."

His eyes narrowed playfully. "Oh, really?" Before I could react, I was on my back and he was leaning over me, grinning mischievously. Then his fingers were on my sides, tickling me mercilessly.

"No!" I squeeled, trying to push him away but he wouldn't move an inch. "Please, stop!"

"So, am I still predictable?"

"No, just stop, please!" He finally stopped tickling me, his eyes getting darker, smile fading. "Um… Edward? Are you okay?"

He just nodded and kissed my forehead, then rolled on his back, pulling me against his chest. "Good night, Bella."

I was confused by his mood swings at first but then I realized that my fighting him might have been too much for him. I suppressed a sigh and closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would come quickly.


	13. Renee

**A/N: This chapter is in Edward POV. I missed writing him so he might pop in again sometime in the future. I hope you don't mind :)**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter thirteen**

 ** _Edward_**

I hated planes. It wasn't because I was afraid of flying. Obviously, I wasn't. But having to sit in a metal tube full of people with warm blood in their veins and never-ending streams of thoughts in their minds without the possibility of getting out wasn't my idea of a good time. My family had tried to avoid flying in the past unless it was absolutely necessary; we had chosen driving or running which was slower but more comfortable for us. Then Rosalie decided to put us out of the misery and got a private pilot certificate and we bought a private jet. Jasper was especially grateful for that.

Sadly, we couldn't use it now because yesterday Rosalie had flown it to get Alice and Jasper to Mississippi. Alice had decided to use Thanksgiving holiday to go to Biloxi and try to find something about her human past. Rosalie had been reluctant to leave Forks at first, wanting to help Esme babysit little Sarah on Friday when Toby would have to work, but Emmett eventually convinced her to go. The idea of some time alone with him, while Alice and Jasper went through archives in Biloxi, helped a lot with Rosalie's decision.

Anyway, now here I was, sitting in the first class on a plane to Jacksonville, Florida, accompanying Bella on the way to visit her mother. We were barely an hour from Seattle and I was already feeling uneasy. Even though there were less people in the first class than in coach, it mattered very little to me because I could hear everyone's thoughts all the same. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to tune out all the noise in my head.

I concentrated on the heat on my right that was seeping through the fabric of my clothes. It was Bella, leaning against me with her head on my shoulder, sleeping. She had fallen asleep shortly after we'd taken off but it didn't surprise me. She'd had to get up really early in the morning so we could catch the plane at 11:00 am. She had three more hours of sleep before we had to change planes in Atlanta so I decided not to disturb her.

 _… oh my… what do we have here? … of course he has a girlfriend but maybe…_

I gritted my teeth, trying to force the thoughts of the flying attendant, now passing our seats, out of my head. The images she produced in her mind were quite disturbing and I took a deep breath through my nose, breathing in Bella's scent, just to get a distraction. It worked, as it always did. My throat flared to life, making me forget anything but my angel next to me. It was strange, even though the venom still flooded my mouth and my throat burned, her scent had a calming effect on me. It meant she was with me and therefore I welcomed it.

Apparently, I had become a masochist.

Through the eyes of the flying attendant I could see that it looked like we were both sleeping. _… looks too young anyway…_ she sighed mentally and continued down the aisle. I breathed out in relief as her thoughts turned to another passenger but I kept my eyes closed just in case.

Bella sighed in her sleep and shifted a little, so now her head was right under my chin, her right hand sliding across my stomach. I loved that even in her sleep her body was still drawn to me. I had no idea how she could find lying on me comfortable but I decided not to question it. I envied her the ability to sleep, now more than ever. The journey seemed endless and some thoughts and smells were hard to ignore.

Finally, three hours later, the plane started to descend. I kissed Bella's forehead, gently shaking her shoulders. "Wake up, sweetheart," I whispered, dropping another kiss into her hair.

She stirred and groaned softly but her arm tightened around my chest and she snuggled even closer to me. I chuckled and lowered my head so I could whisper right in her ear. "Bella. We're going to be in Atlanta soon."

She sighed and pulled away, blinking at me sleepily. Then she frowned and looked around before she remembered where we were. She ran her hand through her dishevelled hair, yawning. She looked all sleepy and crumpled and beautiful. I had to squash down the sudden desire that ran through my body at the sight of her. Now really wasn't the time to have this kind of thoughts.

A little over an hour later we were sitting on another plane that would take us straight to Jacksonville. Fortunatelly, it was only about an hour long flight so Bella didn't sleep this time. She spent the hour looking out the window, holding my hand. She didn't speak so for a while I enjoyed just watching her. Of course my curiousity was hard to suppress.

"What are you thinking about?" I whispered in her ear, startling her. I apologized softly but watched her turning to me with a small smile on her lovely face.

"I was wondering how long would it take for you to ask that," she said teasingly, rolling her eyes at my impatience.

"It took me long enough." I kissed the tip of her nose. "Will you tell me now?"

She smiled, leaning back against me, turning her eyes back to the window. "I was thinking about Renee. Wondering if you will be able to read her mind and what she will think about you…" she trailed off, shrugging.

I had been wondering about it too but I didn't really care about what Renee would think of me. I felt a slight resentment toward the woman for treating Bella the way she had just because of something Bella couldn't control. On the other hand, I hoped I would be able to hear her thoughts, if only to find out the reasons behind her behaviour.

I didn't tell Bella any of this, though. It wasn't that I didn't want to share my thoughts with her, but I didn't want to give her the impression that I didn't like her mother even before meeting her.

"We'll see," I said, giving her what I hoped was an easy smile. She narrowed her eyes at me slightly but then shrugged, obviously deciding to let it go.

* * *

After what seemed like a small eternity we were in the airport in Jacksonville, waiting for our luggage to arrive. It was always harder for me to be in such a huge, crowded place so I was getting a little impatient. Bella seemed to notice because she took my hand, squeezing it encouragingly. She looked to be deep in thoughts, her forehead creased slightly.

When we had our luggage, we started making our way to the exit. Bella's phone beeped with a text message and she stopped to read it. I suppressed a sigh, eager to be out of here. It was way worse than a high school and I started to regret that we couldn't have used the Floo Network for our trip. The closest magical public place to Jacksonville we could use was in New York and it would have taken way longer to drive from there.

"It's Renee," Bella murmured, pulling me out of my thoughts. "She's waiting for us in the parking lot."

I nodded, focusing my mind reading in the direction of the parking lot. It took me ages – at least ten seconds – but I finally got a glimpse of Bella in a woman's thoughts. I started to walk again but Bella tugged at my sleeve.

"Wait a second," she said and I let her drag me to a quiet corner next to the restrooms near where we'd been standing.

"What are you - "

"Is someone paying attention to us?" she asked impatiently.

"What?" I asked, confused but quickly scanned our surroundings. "No. What are you doing, Bella?"

For a moment I thought she wanted to kiss me but suddenly she pulled her wand out of the secret pocket of her jeans. She got a speculative look on her face and then she pointed the wand at me and gave it a long wave mirroring the length of my body. I gasped as a sudden wave of heat spread across my skin. After a few seconds it subsided into a pleasant warmth and stayed that way.

"Well? Does it work?" Bella asked with raised eyebrows but before I could reply she grabbed my hand. She smiled, seemingly satisfied with the result. "Great. Why didn't I think of it before?" She shook her head at herself, rolling her eyes.

I stood there, examining my hands and then touched my face. Even though I'd never felt the coldness of my body, obviously, it did feel somehow different now.

Until now, Bella had sometimes used the warming spell on her when the coldness of my body was too much for her. I had no idea that it could work on me too so I'd never thought to ask her about it. Apparently she hadn't thought of it either until now. This simple action would open a lot of opportunities for me or even for my family.

Before I could think any further though, Bella took my hand, ready to resume our walk. I just shook my head slightly, leaving the thoughts to another time.

I led her through the crowds towards the parking lot, walking only slightly faster than was normal for humans. Bella couldn't really keep up with my pace and had to jog at times, but my patience with this horrendous place had worn off. Fortunatelly, she didn't complain, apparently sensing my urgency.

"Can you hear her?" Bella asked, her voice sounding out of breath.

"Yes," I said through gritted teeth, steering her toward the exit leading to the parking lot.

As soon as we were out in the parking lot, I could breathe a little easily which was a slight relief, even though it didn't really help with the constant flood of thoughts. I tried to focuse solely on the thoughts of Bella's mother and soon I could see her leaning against a red Mini Cooper. I groaned internally, wishing I could run rather than ride squashed in this little matchbox. At least it was the Clubman version which meant a little more space for my legs.

I heard Bella chuckle next to me and I glanced down at her. She was looking ahead and waving at Renee but there was a small smirk on her lips. I sighed but plastered a smile on my face, ready to play my part as Bella's human boyfriend.

Renee Dwyer was a short woman, only about an inch taller than Bella. She looked quite young for her late thirties, and when we reached her, the two of them looked more like sisters than a mother and daughter. They were a lot alike, at least physically, except for the eyes and hair color, that Bella obviously inherited from her father.

"Bella!" Renee cried out excitedly and immediately wrapped her daughter in a tight hug.

"Hi Mom." I could hear the smile in Bella's voice. I knew that she missed her mother even though she didn't talk much about her.

I stayed back, waiting for the two of them to greet each other, concentrating on Renee's thoughts. They didn't reveal anything unusual; she was genuinely happy to see Bella and she had apparently missed her too.

As soon as they stepped back, Renee's eyes and thoughts focused on me. _Good lord… even more handsome than in the photo…_

"And you must be Edward!" she said with a huge smile, shaking my hand. I was suddenly very grateful for Bella's foresight. In Forks it was always easy to use the cold, rainy weather as an excuse for our cold hands but that was impossible in warm Jacksonville.

"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Dwyer," I said politely with a smile.

"None of that! Just call me Renee, please. Mrs. Dwyer is my mother-in-law and I'd like to think that I'm nothing like that old bat." She smiled at me even more widely, her thoughts all over the place. _… wish I were younger… oh, what am I doing, he's Bella's boyfriend… but still… oh! There's something… never mind, hope he doesn't mind sitting in the back… he's too tall but… not comfortable with him too close to me…_

Her smile had been gradually fading and I could easily tell what she couldn't clearly explain to herself even in her thoughts. She was naturally afraid of me, all her senses warned her about the proximity of a predator, even though she didn't know what exactly was wrong about me.

I nodded to her previous words and pointed at the dreaded backseat. "I suppose I should take the backseat so you two can catch up," I offered and Renee immediately relaxed.

"Wouldn't you mind? I know there's not much space…"

"It's no problem," I assured her.

I loaded Bella's suitcase and my duffel bag in the free seat next to where I would be sitting and went to open the passenger door for Bella, ignoring Renee's scattered thoughts.

"Thanks for doing this," Bella whispered. "Are you sure it's okay?"

I rolled my eyes at her, giving her a wink and climbed in the back. I don't think I'd ever sat in the backseat in all my existence and now I hoped I would never have to again. I liked to have things under control and the idea of having to rely on this woman to get Bella safely to her house in this questionable vehicle didn't really go well with me.

As we drove, I kept glancing at Renee's hands, constantly checking the speedometer. Despite my love of speed, I didn't trust Renee's reflexes to be fast enough to prevent us from an accident.

Bella didn't seem to have the same concern as me and happily chatted with her mother about Charlie and Phil, who, it seemed, wouldn't be present during our stay.

"Thank God you arrived Bella," Renee said, waving her hand as she spoke, making me cringe. "At least I could use it as an excuse for not having to go visit Phil's parents with him. I really hate that woman…"

I tuned her out and spent the rest of the journey staring out the window.

* * *

Renee and Phil's house was small but clean and surprisingly tastefully equipped. I was to "sleep" in the guest room since Renee wasn't comfortable with me sharing room with Bella. Well, I didn't really care. After Renee fell asleep, I would sneak into Bella's room anyway.

I excused myself from the dinner, saying that I had eaten on the plane, and went to the guest room to unpack, wanting to give Renee the chance to ask Bella some questions. Bella narrowed her eyes at me when I passed her but I just grinned, faking a yawn.

Renee waited until she heard me close the door to my room to start with her questions. I sat on the bed, leaning against the headboard and listened to their conversation.

"He seems nice," Renee started innocently.

"He is." Bella shrugged, feigning indiferrence. She was a terrible actress and even Renee noticed.

"Oh, you like him!" Renee exclaimed happily and through her eyes I saw Bella roll her eyes. She stood up to take her and Renee's plates to the sink.

"I wouldn't have been dating him if I didn't like him, Mom," I heard Bella say but I couldn't see her expression since she had her back to Renee.

"And he likes you too. I noticed the way he looked at you," Renee said with a dreamy sigh.

"Yes," Bella said, turning around to face Renee. "So, it was a long flight and I'm tired so - "

"Can you just stay here for a few more minutes, Bella? I really missed you and I'm so curious about that handsome boy of yours. You didn't tell me much about him over the phone."

Bella sighed but sat in the chair next to Renee. "First, his name is Edward and second, there's more about him than just his looks."

"Like what?" Renee was genuinely curious about me so I tried not to be offended by her tone. Bella's lips pressed into a line so Renee hurriedly explained, "I didn't mean it like that, Bella. It's just that I've been waiting for this day for ages. You'd never been interested in boys before. At least you never talked about anyone so I was a little worried…"

Bella rolled her eyes again. "Mom, I'm only seventeen, not thirty."

"I know, I know, but…" Renee paused and I didn't know whether to laugh or get angry when I heard her next thoughts. "I just wasn't sure if they didn't suppress your natural desires at that school of yours."

Bella laughed, throwing her head back. "You do know that Hogwarts is not a Catholic school, right?"

"Of course. That would be quite ironic, wouldn't it?"

"Besides, I did talk about my friends dating," Bella said, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I know but you could have been lying."

"I hate lying, Mom. You know that."

"And yet you make others lie for you," Renee blurted out, and I could see that she didn't really mean to say that. However, she quickly decided to go on. "And you lie to Edward all the time. What exactly did you tell him anyway when he asked about your friends or school or anything from your past?"

Bella stared at her for a few moments and I could just guess what she was thinking. She didn't look angry, more like sad or frustrated.

"I don't lie to Edward. He knows everything."

To say that Renee was shocked would be an understatement. "He does? But I thought you weren't supposed to tell anyone. I haven't even told Phil!"

Bella sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. "Well, I didn't exactly tell him. He guessed. He'd already known about magic." Renee cringed at the word magic and of course Bella noticed. "You hoped I would give up what I am because of Edward, didn't you?" she hissed, leaning toward Renee, not waiting for her reaction. "Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but unlike you, Edward supports me."

"Bella…" Renee started but she wasn't sure what to say. Her thoughts were chaotic – this conversation hadn't gone as she'd planned and instead of some juicy gossip about me they ended up fighting. She didn't know what to say to make it better.

Bella just shook her head and stood up. "I'm going to bed, Mom," she said with a sigh and turned toward the stairs leading upstairs.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Renee whispered but Bella just said good night and walked up the stairs. She stopped in her room to grab her toiletries and pyjamas and then went to the bathroom, closing the door behind her softly.

I stayed on the bed, still listening to Renee. She was crying now. She was actually worried about Bella, which surprised me. She fleetingly wondered how I'd known about magic but decided to let it go for now. Her thoughts then returned to Bella and she wondered if it wasn't too late…

Wait… too late for what?

Thankfully, Renee decided to elaborate in her thoughts, saving me from an unanswered question. I hated those.

An image of an old woman appeared in Renee's mind. She had white hair and her face was lined with deep wrinkles. According to Renee it was her grandmother. She then remembered the words that she had dismissed as an old cock-and-bull story but after Bella revealed that she was magical, she started to believe them. _There are evil sorcerers, Renee. They practice dark magic and destroy everything that is in their way. No one can escape them. They are all evil, even if at first they seem nice and kind. In the end they become dark and hateful… Don't ever let them get to you!_

I shook my head, suppressing a laugh. It was completely ridiculous. She hated magic because of an old story and she hadn't even bothered to check if it was true. Why hadn't she just asked Bella? I didn't understand this woman even though I could read her thoughts.

Renee then decided to go to bed, too emotionally tired to do anything else. I heard Bella leave the bathroom and she stopped by my door. "Come to my room when she's asleep," she whispered and then went to her room.

I rolled my eyes. Of course I would come to her room, I hadn't planned on spending the night all by myself.

It took a while for Renee to finally fall asleep. She kept replaying her talk with Bella over and over, wondering if she should tell her about what her grandmother had said. She also thought about keeping Bella here, stopping her from going back to Forks. A low growl escaped my throat when I heard that one. No one was going to take my Bella from me. Not if I could help it.

I knew I would have to keep what I'd heard to myself. Bella would want to confront Renee if she knew what her mother thought and she wouldn't be able to explain how she knew it without revealing my mind reading. I was sure that Renee would not take it well.

It was after midnight when I could finally sneak into Bella's room. I knew she wasn't sleeping but it surprised me that she wasn't even in her bed. The room was dark but she was sitting in a chair by the window, staring out into the night.

I stopped behind her chair, placing my hands on her shoulders. She let out a contented sigh, putting her hand over one of mine.

"Why aren't you in bed?" I whispered, bending down to kiss the top of her head.

"You don't have to whisper," she said with a smile in her voice, pointing at her wand on her bedside table.

I laughed. "Good. But you didn't answer my question."

She sighed. "I didn't want to fall asleep without you," she admitted and tilted her head back so she could look at me.

I nodded. "Renee had a lot on her mind," I said, taking a step around her chair and pulling her gently to her feet. I led her to the bed and she climbed in without a word and I lay down next to her. I drew in a hissing breath when I finally realized what she was wearing. Back in Forks she slept in long sleeved t-shirts and long pyjama pants and even during days she wore loose, long sleeved shirts or sweaters that revealed almost nothing.

Now, though still in long pants, she was wearing a white sleeveless t-shirt with thin straps. It very closely fitted her slim body and accentuated her delicate feminine curves.

"Um… Edward?" Her voice sounded timid, making me look up. "Did you just… stare at my breasts?" Her tone had a teasing tinge but her cheeks were flushed.

"What?" Suddenly I felt mortified. "No! I didn't… I…" But I knew I had done just that. Jesus, that made me feel like an old pervert. I couldn't deny that I occasionally enjoyed looking at her backside, since it was the only part of her body that wasn't hidden behind loose clothes and I was grateful for Alice's insistence that Bella wore close-fitting jeans. But being caught staring at her breasts? That was unacceptable for me. I'd always despised men that did that, thinking they were disrespectful and vulgar. Now I was one of them and I felt disgusted with myself.

I felt a small warm hand on my cheek. "What's wrong?" Bella whispered and I finally focused on her face. She didn't look angry or disgusted which was what I'd been expecting. I could only discern concern in her beautiful eyes.

"I'm sorry," I breathed out, keeping my eyes firmly on her face. "I didn't mean to… disgrace you like that."

She blinked in confusion but then her face brightened and she laughed, throwing her head back against the headboard. "Oh, Edward," she said, still giggling, and cupped my face, looking me right in the eyes. "I don't feel that way at all." She lifted her head a little, kissing my lips lightly. "When I'm with you, I feel loved and cherished and safe. There's nothing you could do to make me feel anything else than that." Then her eyes glinted mischievously. "Besides, I enjoy staring at your butt whenever I can."

I laughed, suddenly feeling much lighter. "I do that too," I admitted, relieved that she didn't think badly of me even though there was still a hint of disgust with myself in the back of my mind.

"You stare at your butt too?" she teased. "Well, I don't blame you. It's a very fine butt. Though I never noticed you stopping by the mirror that often. Oh, is it what you do when I sleep?"

I rolled my eyes and interrupted her ridiculous rambling with a kiss. I loved kissing her soft, warm lips but it wasn't enough. I wanted to kiss her properly but I didn't dare to do it. It was too dangerous for her to be that close to my sharp, venomous teeth. Though lately I toyed with the idea of trying a different approach. I might be able to initiate the kiss, make sure that it's safe… I knew from Carlisle that our venom was dangerous only when it got directly to the bloodstream so as long as we avoided that, it should be alright. I would have to think it through properly though, before even suggesting it to Bella.

I slowed the kiss when I heard her heart beating furiously against her ribcage. After one last kiss I rested my forehead against hers, listening to our heavy breathing, and closed my eyes, trying to calm my body's reaction to our activities. It wasn't easy with her so close so I shifted a little so Bella wouldn't notice. Altough she'd seemed to be alright with my rude ogling her chest, I didn't want to assume she would be as understanding when it came to the physical proof of my lust for her.

She sighed happily and I felt her warm hands slowly run across my arms, shoulders and right into my hair. She started massaging my scalp gently and I sighed, dropping my head to her shoulder. I loved when she did that. It was a very soothing gesture and though I didn't remember it, I always imagined that my human mother had done just that when I was a child.

Her giggle interrupted my silent musing. "What?" I asked lazily, lifting my head slightly so I could see her face.

"You just purred," she said with another giggle, her gentle fingers never stopping their ministrations.

I frowned. "I didn't." That was absurd.

"You did," she argued. "Just like a cat. I scratched your head and you purred."

"Vampires don't purr," I insisted adamantly. "We are the most dangerous predators in the world. Not some stupid cats."

"Cats are predators too and they purr." She shrugged but her eyes were alight with mirth. I glared at her playfully, letting out a low growl. She laughed even more. "Ohh, scary."

"You should get to sleep, Bella," I said, fighting my own laugh. "You're exhausted and you're hearing things."

She scowled mockingly, lightly swatting my shoulder. "I'm not that tired and I'm definitely not halucinating. You just wait, one day I'll record you," she threatened. She was endearing when she was angry, even playfully.

"Then I'll record all the sounds you make in your sleep." I grinned triumphantly when I saw her horrified expression and of course she blushed furiously.

"Maybe you should spend the night in the guest room," she mumbled, still frowning.

I smoothed her frown with my fingertip and kissed the tip of her nose. "Alright," I said, moving to get up off the bed.

She grabbed my shirt, clutching at it with all her strength. "What are you doing?"

"Going to the guest room," I said innocently, shrugging.

Bella just rolled her eyes and I let her pull me back next to her. "You're impossible," she muttered, snuggling against my chest.

"I know. But you still love me." I grinned, kissing the side of her head.

She sighed. "Yeah, I do."

We were quiet for the next few minutes and I listened to her heart and breathing slowing down. She still wasn't asleep though and I was wondering, again, what she was thinking about.

"Edward?" she said after a while.

"Mmm?"

"Did you find out what Renee's problem is?"

Her question took me aback. I'd never told her about my intention to try to find out Renee's thoughts about magic but of course Bella wasn't stupid and had known all the same. Sometimes I wondered if she could read minds too.

"Yes," I said but didn't elaborate.

"And?" She sounded impatient.

"And you'll have to ask her yourself."

She lifted her head, frowning. "Why don't you just tell me?"

"Bella." I sighed, willing myself to be patient. "You would want to argue with her and how would you explain what you know?"

"I hate when you're right," she grumbled, making me chuckle.

"Sleep now, sweetheart," I whispered, dropping another kiss into her hair.

She sighed but stayed quiet and after five more minutes her breathing steadied and I knew she was asleep. I wrapped my arm around her, burying my face into her hair, and closed my eyes. Renee's chaotic dreams from downstairs invaded my mind but I ignored them, concentrating on the burn in my throat and my need to be close to Bella.


	14. Jacksonville

**Chapter fourteen**

 ** _Bella_**

Thanksgiving passed off without any incidents or awkwardness between me and Renee. In the morning, she greeted me and Edward with a brilliant smile and she behaved like last night had never happened. I didn't know whether to be happy about it or not – I wanted to know what she was thinking but Edward refused to tell me anything. In the end I decided to wait for the right time and just ask her.

In the meantime I helped Renee with the Thanksgiving dinner while Edward did homework at the kitchen table. It was quite fun watching him work in human speed and I could just imagine how frustrated he must have been.

Dinner was interesting. Renee focused on Edward and kept asking him questions about his family, school and plans for college. I felt sorry for him because with Renee keeping a close watch on him, he was forced to actually eat which, I was sure, wasn't very enjoyable for him. I had to give it to him though, he had his act brought to perfection. It was only because I knew him that I noticed his jaw clench minutely and he held his shoulders a little higher than usual.

After about ten minutes I decided to come to his rescue.

"Can I have more of the cranberry sauce, Mom?" I asked with an innocent smile.

"Oh, I forgot how much you liked it!" Renee said with a delighted laugh. "I have to get it from the pantry though." Yes, that was exactly what I'd wanted her to do.

As soon as she disappeared out of the room, I pulled out my wand and vanished the rest of the food off Edward's plate. "Thank you," he breathed out, his face full of relief.

I just grinned at him and put the wand back in my jeans just as Renee got back. She was pleased to see Edward's empty plate and asked if he'd had enough and I suppressed a smirk when Edward's eyes slightly widened in horror before he smiled and said he was full.

It wasn't until the next day though that I finally got a chance to talk to Renee about what had been on my mind for so long. She'd decided to use the opportunity of me being here on a Black Friday and took me shopping with her. Edward refused to go with us and I was sure that the fact that it was sunny outside was just one of the reasons. I knew he hated shopping for clothes almost as much as I did, leaving it to Alice who was always happy to do it for him. I felt a little bad for leaving him alone but he assured me that he didn't mind.

After hours of shopping we decided to take a break and have lunch in a small diner not far from the mall. We found a booth in the back of the diner and after we'd placed our orders I decided it was time for my questions. Before I could decide where to start though, Renee beat me to it.

"So, about Edward," she started, nervously looking around before lowering her voice. "You said he knows all about you." I nodded. "How?"

I sighed, knowing that I had to be careful with my explanation. "He has a little magic in him too. It's different from me and I'd rather not tell you more right now."

Renee narrowed her eyes at me, clearly not happy with my answer. She looked me right in the eyes and leaned closer on her elbows so our faces were inches apart. "Tell me, Bella. Is he a good person?"

I blinked, surprised by her question. "Of course he is!"

"And you?"

I opened my mouth, then closed it and then opened it again. What kind of a question was that? Why would my own mother ask me this? Didn't she know me?

Before I could react, the waitress was here with our meals. I waited until she left and then looked back at Renee. "You… you think I'm not a good person, Mom?" I asked in a small voice.

"I…" she started but then shook her head, closing her eyes tightly. "I think I should tell you something."

* * *

When Renee finished, I stared at her incredulously for what seemed like minutes. I would have found what she'd told me hilarious, hadn't she spoken with a deadly serious expression on her face. She even looked scared.

"Are you serious?" I asked after I'd finally found my voice. "Are you really telling me that you believed old gossip and never thought of asking me if it's even true?"

"Keep your voice down, Bella!" she hissed and I noticed that a few people had actually turned their heads our direction.

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes but did as she'd asked. "But really, Mom, why didn't you just ask me?"

She straightened her back and crossed her arms across her chest defensively. "I didn't believe it at first. It sounded completely ridiculous and I didn't even think about it for many years. But then… the woman appeared at our doorstep and I… I just panicked, Bella! Grandmother had been right about magic so I just assumed that the rest was true as well."

I took a few calming breaths so I wouldn't say something I would later regret. "Of course there are bad wizards, Mom. Just as there are bad people everywhere." Renee opened her mouth but I continued. "But there are good wizards as well. Personally I know more good wizards than bad ones." I felt like I was talking to a child but with Renee it was sometimes the only way of getting the message to her.

She lowered her eyes and reached out to take my hand on the table. She squeezed it tightly and looked tearfully in my eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella. I should've told you sooner. I was stupid."

"Well…," I trailed off with a shrug, not wanting to tell her she was right. "Wait a minute," I said with a frown. "How did your grandmother know about us?"

"I don't know. I think she just heard it somewhere." Then she paused, looking thoughtful. "For a long time I thought she was, you know, crazy. She was old and died about a year later. But when we found out magic was real, I didn't know what to think anymore."

I just nodded, deciding to let it go. Even though I was still hurt that Renee hadn't trusted me enough to tell me sooner, I didn't really want to be angry at her and spend the rest of my stay here not talking with her.

Suddenly an idea sprang to my mind.

"So, are you ready to hear about my school now?"

She nodded slowly and I spent the rest of our shopping trip talking about Hogwarts, the subjects I'd taken and teachers that had taught them.

When we were on our way back later this afternoon, I decided to, at least partly, come clean to Renee about another thing.

"I haven't really finished Hogwarts yet," I admitted, keeping my eyes ahead of me.

"I know."

My head shot to her so fast I nearly sprained my neck. "What?!"

Renee just rolled her eyes. "Really, Bella. I'm not that stupid. I know you enough to know that you'd never quit school early." Then she gave me a sideway glance before turning her eyes back on the road. "So, are you going to tell me why you had decided to come home?"

I bit my bottom lip, contemplating how much to tell her. I didn't want to lie to her anymore but the whole truth would undoubtedly freak her out.

We now stopped at the red light and seeing the long line of cars before us I finally decided on what to tell her.

"You know I told you there _are_ bad wizards," I started slowly. Renee nodded with wide eyes and I was really glad we weren't moving now. "Well, one of them is now in charge of the wizarding Britain. It was better for me to just get out of there for a while."

She nodded just as the traffic lights turned green. The next few miles were spent in silence which surprised me. I'd expected Renee to bombard me with questions, asking for more details, but she didn't.

She parked the car in front of her house but didn't move to get out. Then she sighed and turned to me.

"Your friends in Britain… did they leave too?"

I sighed, leaning my head against the headrest. "I don't really know," I admitted. "Some had to stay because they had their families there. Some ran away but I don't think they went abroad. I think I was lucky you and dad live in America."

She nodded and took my hands in hers, looking right into my eyes. "Are you safe now, Bella?"

I smiled. "Edward keeps me safe, actually," I assured her, knowing that Edward could hear us now.

"Really?" Her eyes widened slightly but then she nodded to herself and smiled. "That's good," she muttered. Then she frowned, biting her lip. "Does Charlie know about all this?"

I tried not to feel guilty when I replied. "Yes, he knows everyhing."

"Of course he does," she said with regret in her voice. "The two of you have always been close." I opened my mouth to object but Renee shook her head and gave me a sad smile. "I haven't always been the most supportive mom, I know it. And I'm really sorry about that, sweetie."

I swallowed the lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat and threw my arms around her neck. "It's okay, Mom."

"No, it's not, but I'll try to make it up to you, Bella. I promise," she whispered in my ear, squeezing me tightly. Then she pulled away and glanced toward her house. "Now, come on. I bet that handsome boy of yours is getting impatient."

I rolled my eyes but chuckled and get out of the car.

* * *

Later that night, after the sunset, Edward and I decided to take a walk on the beach. The sky was dark blue but I couldn't see many stars. Maybe it was still too early for them but more likely it was because there were too many lights in the city. I didn't mind that much, though. I could stargaze in Forks.

We strolled, hand in hand, in a comfortable silence and I was actually glad that we'd had to wait until the sun set. There were fewer people in here now than in the daylight, something I was sure Edward appreciated.

We hadn't spent much time together since we'd arrived on Wednesday. Edward had wanted me to spend as much time with Renee as possible and was always either in his room or in the back porch that was protected from the sun, reading.

"Alice called while you were away," Edward said, interrupting the silence. He led me to a small formation of rocks at the end of the beach and sat down on one of the smaller boulders, pulling me sideways into his lap.

"Really? What did she say? Did they find anything?"

"She said something about a still living relative but didn't go into details." He put his chin on my shoulder, looking into the vast ocean in front of us. Then he pulled away slightly so his eyes turned back to me and smiled. "She actually called to tell me they're going to pick us up from here on the way home on Sunday."

He looked relieved and I didn't blame him. I knew he hated planes and he'd had a hard time on the way here. He hadn't said anything but I could feel the tension rolling off him in waves. "That's great!" I grinned, kissing his cheek. "Too bad they couldn't have taken us on the way here as well." They had left for Mississippi a day before us but we couldn't go with them because I'd still had a lesson with Toby on Tuesday and Renee had been out of town anyway.

I shivered as a cold breeze blew from the ocean, glad that I wore a thick sweater because the nights were quite cold even in Florida. Edward pressed me closer to his chest and I smiled, enjoying the warmth of his body. I'd warmed him before we'd left the house, just like I had done in the airport. I mentally slapped myself again for not thinking of this before this trip.

Suddenly I felt him tense slightly and he sighed. Before I could ask about it, I heard a high pitched giggle not far from us. I looked up and saw a group of teenage girls passing us. They kept glancing at us and whispering something but I didn't hear what it was. I could easily guess though.

I gritted my teeth but then I smirked when a sudden idea popped in my head. I gently grabbed the back of Edward's head and pressed my lips firmly to his. He froze for a second, clearly surprised by my action, but then quickly relaxed into the kiss. He tightened his arms around me, smiling against my lips. "Marking your territory?" he mumbled between kisses, amusement clear in his voice.

"Yep."

"You're adorable when you get jealous." He now moved his lips to trace light kisses along my jawline and down my throat.

"I'm not… oh… jealous." I couldn't suppress the moan when his lips touched the sensitive spot behind my ear. His hands were now running up and down my back, pressing me even closer to him. His lips returned back to mine and I gasped in surprise when he traced my bottom lip with his tongue. He'd never done this before and it sent a wave of tingles across my body. I felt something hard pressing against the side of my thigh and it took me a few moments to realize what it was.

I let out another gasp before I could stop myself and Edward immediately pulled away, apparently realizing what I'd felt. His eyes widened in horror and embarrassment and he gently shifted me farther down his lap. "I'm sorry," he muttered, avoiding his eyes.

I was aware of the heat in my cheeks but I decided to ignore it. "Sorry for what?" I frowned, sliding my butt on his legs back so I was pressed against him again.

He placed a hand on my legs to stop my movement and buried his face into the crook of my neck. "I didn't mean to offend you…" he whispered into my neck.

I couldn't stop the giggle that escaped my throat. "Edward," I said with a sigh, weaving my hand into his hair. "You know what century we live in, right?"

Edward lifted his head and rolled his eyes at me. "You'd be surprised how many women find this… _reaction_ … offensive, even in this century, Bella."

"Well, I don't find it offensive," I said with a shrug. "It's actually quite flattering. Besides, you're my boyfriend. You're allowed to be attracted to me," I teased, nudging him in the ribs. Then I pretended to think about something, putting a finger on my lips. "Unless… It's a reaction to the girls that were passing us a moment ago. Though it wouldn't offend me, it would piss me off."

He laughed out loud at this, throwing his head back. "I love it when you get all possessive about me. But no, it was definitely you." Then he turned serious again. "It's always you, Bella."

I melted inside at his words and kissed him with all I had. "I love you," I whispered fervently against his lips.

"And I love you," he breathed out, "you have no idea how much."

When a gust of cold wind made me shiver again, Edward sighed and stood up, hoisting me up in is arms. "It's cold, let's go back."

* * *

It was overcast on Saturday so after Edward had checked with Alice that the weather would stay that way all day, Renee took us sightseeing. It was fun but exhausting and I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow that night.

Before I knew it we were yet again sitting in Renee's car on our way to the airport. She kept talking about how much she would miss me but I didn't feel much like talking right now. I would miss her too, now more than ever after we'd had our talk on Friday. We'd finally closed the gap between us and it had brought us closer than we'd ever been.

Renee couldn't wait to meet Edward's siblings even though at first it had been hard for her to believe that Rosalie, who Renee believed was eighteen years old, had a private pilot certificate. I blushed, not knowing how to explain it but before I could turn to Edward for help, she just waved it off, saying she didn't need to know everything.

"I can see you can't tell me the truth so don't tell me anything. It's better than lying," she'd said with an understanding smile.

I liked this new Renee.

When we arrived at the airport, Alice was waiting for us at the terminal for private flights. She was bouncing on her feet when she spotted us and I was sure that it was extremely hard for her to pretend being human and not to run to us at full vampire speed. She literally jumped into Edward's arms and he took a step back like he was struggling under her weight. I barely refrained from rolling my eyes at them.

Alice then proceeded to hug me, using as much strength as she dared without hurting me. Still, I was sure I would have bruises.

Renee cleared her throat slightly and Alice let me go, unleashing her full beam at my mother. "Mrs. Dwyer! It's so nice to finally meet you! Bella told us so much about you! I'm Alice!"

This time I did roll my eyes, making sure Alice saw me. Edward chuckled next to me, pulling me against his side.

Renee blinked in surprise but then smiled at Alice. "Nice to meet you too, Alice. And please, call me Renee."

Alice then led us to the others that were at the back of the hall. I could see Rosalie talking with two male airport employees. The poor men stared at her with their mouth open, nodding to everything Rosalie was saying. Emmett stood nearby, watching the scene in front of him with a wide, amused grin. When I looked around, I spotted Jasper sitting in the far corner, looking uncomfortable, though he smiled and waved when he noticed us.

"Bella!" Emmett's loud voice boomed around us and the next second I was lifted in the air and my body was nearly crushed by two trunk-like arms.

I half gasped half giggled, trying to take a breath but it was nearly impossible. "Put me down, you big jerk!" I wheezed, slapping his arm carefully so I wouldn't hurt myself.

He laughed but did as I asked. When I turned to introduce him to Renee, I had to suppress a laugh. She was staring at Emmett with wide eyes, looking a little scared.

"Don't worry, Mom. He's harmless," I said with a grin. "Well… mostly."

Renee's face suddenly cleared and she visibly relaxed, introducing herself to Emmett and even shaking his hand. I glanced around and noticed Jasper had come to us, now standing next to Alice with his hand on her shoulder. He winked at me and I grinned.

Renee couldn't stay much longer though so we had to say goodbye. She hugged me tightly and I closed my eyes, burying my head into her neck.

"Call me when you land," she whispered.

"I will."

"Say hi to Charlie."

"I will."

"Any chance you would come for Christmas?"

I pulled away slightly so I could see her face. "I don't know, Mom. I…"

She put her finger over my lips. "It's okay. It was worth a try," she said with a sad smile. "But you will come soon." Then she frowned slightly, biting her lip. "Or maybe I'll come to see you!" She smiled widely and hugged me one more time.


	15. Rosalie

**A/N: Hello! This chapter is a little chatty so it might seem boring to some people. I'm sorry for that but I needed to get this done so I can move forward with the plot. Also it contains a mention of rape, though not detailed, so if that bothers you, feel free to skip this chapter. It's my version of chapter 7 of Eclipse so it's very similar to the canon though I mostly used my own words.**

 **Although the last chapter didn't get any reviews, a few people put this story to alert or favorites. For that I thank you!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Chapter fifteen**

The new week brought the coldest weather I'd ever experienced in Forks. Though it wasn't snowing yet, the rain was nearly constant and it was so cold outside that even Charlie wore a winter hat which he almost never did. I was suddenly grateful that I didn't have to go out thanks to the Floo Network.

Monday afternoon I stood by the kitchen window in my house, waiting for the water to boil. I was making tea for myself and little Sarah, who was watching TV in the living room with Rosalie. We'd moved here from the Cullen house after the others came from school so Jasper wouldn't have to leave the house.

Charlie had been okay with Sarah spending time in his house and the first time we'd brought her here a week ago they hit it off immediately. He was always good with kids and it made me a little sad that I wouldn't be able to give him grandchildren. I pushed the thought out of my mind quickly, shaking my head. If Edward only suspected what I was thinking, he would try, yet again, to talk me out of becoming like him.

Fortunately he wasn't here right now so I had enough time to compose my thoughts and forget about it.

A loud giggle from the living room brought me back to the present. I smiled. Sarah was raised in a magical household so naturally she'd never seen a television. She'd fallen in love with that thing right away and was fascinated by the fact that it worked without magic.

As I waited for the tea to cool down a little so Sarah wouldn't burn her tongue or worse, spill the hot liquid over herself, I felt a movement behind me. I turned around and found Rosalie sitting at the kitchen table.

I raised my eyebrow questioningly, leaning against the sink. Altough Rosalie had somewhat warmed towards me, especially since the day I'd stopped Edward from leaving, I wouldn't really say we'd become friends.

She was looking at me, not saying anything, her eyes thoughful, speculating.

"Um… the tea will be ready in a few minutes," I said just to break the silence. "I just wanted it to cool down a bit."

"I know," she said quietly. Then she frowned like she was thinking about what to say next. "I've never had a chance to really talk to you," she said at last, looking me right in the eyes.

That surprised me. I'd never gotten the impression that she'd wanted to talk with me. And she was right. The only time the two of us had ever actually talked was the night James and Victoria came for me and it wasn't a particularly pleasant conversation.

"Um… well… you are often in the garage or with Emmett." I shrugged. I didn't have a problem bonding with the other members of her family. They always found a way to spend time with me if they wanted.

"I know," she said again. "I've been thinking about what to tell you." She paused for a minute, turning her head briefly toward the living room. It looked like Sarah was really immersed in the show she was watching because she kept giggling aloud at whatever she saw. Then Rosalie turned her attention back to me. "Did Edward ever tell you how I became like this?" She waved her hand over her body, her eyes on me.

I frowned, trying to recall what Edward had told me about Rosalie's past. It wasn't much. "He just said you came to the family after Esme."

"That's it?" She eyed me sceptically.

"Yes. He wouldn't tell other people's secrets without their permission. You must know that, you've known him for decades." I blushed as my voice got a little higher than I'd intended.

Rosalie just smirked. "Well, we don't get along that well lately so I wouldn't be surprised if he blabbed about me just to make me mad."

"He wouldn't do that." I shook my head fiercely, knowing for sure Edward would never betray her like that, no matter how much she infuriated him.

"I guess you're right," she said with a slow nod. Then she added with a small smile, "He changed a lot after he'd met you. You are good for him, Bella."

My eyes widened slightly; I'd never expected to hear these words from Rosalie. But she looked serious. "Um… thank you."

"So, do you want to hear my story?"

I glanced at Sarah's tea, which by now would have the right temperature, and Rosalie stood up and took the mug, disappearing into the living room. She stayed there for a few minutes. I heard her talking softly with Sarah but I didn't understand the words. Then she came back to the kitchen.

I waited after she sat down and took a seat opposite her. Rosalie was quiet for a moment, looking like she was thinking about where to begin.

"I was born in 1915 in Rochester to a middle-class family. My father worked in a bank and my mother stayed home with me and my two brothers." She paused, looking out the window behind me. "We were quite wealthy so the Great Depression that came in 1929 didn't really have a big impact on our family. Of course I couldn't avoid seeing the poor people that weren't as lucky but my father made me believe they'd brought their problems on themselves."

She sighed, shifting her gaze on her hands on the table. "Even as a child, I was easily the most beautiful girl in town. I'm not trying to be conceited, Bella," she said quickly, looking up at me. "But it was the truth and I knew it. My mother loved dressing me up like a doll and showing me off to her friends so they would admire me. And I liked it. I liked to feel beautiful.

"For me, it was enough. But not for my father. He hoped that my beauty would get me to the highest social class and my mother fully supported him. I wasn't exactly opposed to it but I didn't see the money in that scenario. I wanted to be admired, adored and loved by both men and women. I dreamed about a big, flowery wedding where everyone would see me in a beautiful white dress. I also dreamed about a husband that was the perfect match for me – handsome and loving and, of course, rich. My biggest dream though was having a child."

She raised her eyebrows at me meaningfully and I tried to keep my face neutral. I'd already guessed that she'd wanted children since her first meeting with Sarah so it wasn't really that surprising. I nodded for her to go on.

"You know, I had a friend. Her name was Vera and she got married very young, she was just seventeen. A year later she had a baby boy named Henry. He was the most beautiful baby I'd ever seen, he had black curly hair and dimples when he smiled…" She sighed, far away look on her face. "It was the only time I ever got jealous of someone. I wanted my own husband and a baby with dimples. I was only eighteen but I was ready for it all.

"Of course my father had just the man for me in his mind. His name was Royce King the Second," Rosalie grimaced at the name, "and he was the son of the man who owned the bank my father worked at. We met when I was visiting my father at work and Royce was there to oversee his position as a part of his plan of taking over the bank one day. I caught his eye and soon after that the courship began.

"I was beyond thrilled, as were my parents. Royce was rich and handsome and he seemed to like me which was all I ever wanted from my husband. We were engaged in less than two months of courting and preparing for the most opulent wedding Rochester had ever seen. I couldn't wait. Finally I was about to get what I'd always dreamed of."

She fell silent, her eyes staring unfocused out the window. I waited patiently, not wanting to pressure her. I could see how hard it was for her to talk about it even though I didn't know what exactly had happened to her. Though I had the feeling that I was about to find out and that it wasn't pretty.

After a few moments her eyes snapped back to me and she smiled at me apologetically. Then she went on with her story.

"A week before the wedding, I went to visit Vera again. I was as happy as one could get, no longer jealous of her. I was even sure Vera would get jealous of me once I got married." She chuckled bitterly, rolling her eyes at her past self. "It was quite late when I decided to go home but it was a short way to my house so I decided to just walk. It was cold, colder than was normal for late April and I remember worrying about it. I didn't want to move the wedding indoors…"

She took a deep breath before continuing. "I was just a few streets from my house when I heard them. A group of men were laughing loudly under a broken streetlamp. It was dark and I hurried home, trying to ignore them. Then I recognized one voice in the group. Royce. He was obviously drunk, swaying on his feet. He recognized me too and called out my name. I slowed down. He was my fiancé after all, I'd never thought he would hurt me. Though it did surprise me to see him drunk – I'd never seen him drink before.

"He caught up with me and grabbed my arm tightly. Too tightly, so I tried to pull away, hissing in pain. He didn't let go though. When I looked up to his face his expression shocked me. He had a nasty smirk on his face and there was a hungry glint in his eyes. I begged him to let go off me but he just laughed and shouted at his friends to come to us. ‚ _Look at my fiancee, boys. Look how pretty she is_ ,' he said in a tone that sent shivers down my spine.

"' _We can't see much, Royce, she's all covered up_ ,' said one of his friends. They all laughed, Royce the loudest. Then he ripped my jacket off me, pressing me against the wall behind me and tearing the hat out of my hair…"

I felt my mouth go dry, the blood now completely drained from my face. "Did… did he rape you?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"They all did," she said, her voice surprisingly even. Then her expression softened. "I'll spare you the details, Bella. I don't want you to have nightmares." She sighed. "Anyway, they left me bleeding on the street, thinking I was dead. Royce didn't even care, only saying that he would have to find a new bride…

"I don't know how long I lay there on the cold street, waiting for death, before Carlisle found me. I was still half conscious, nearly blind with pain, but I still remember him bending over me. I'd never liked him and his wife and her brother – as Edward had pretended to be then. They all were more beautiful than me… even the men." She rolled her eyes. "Anyway, he lifted me into his arms and then I felt like I was flying… I thought I must have been delirious or something. Then I was at his house but things started to get fuzzy. He kept talking to me, soothing me, explaining what he was about to do. I didn't really comprehend what he was talking about and then… I felt a terrible pain, much worse than before."

I shuddered internally but kept my eyes on Rosalie. She watched my reactions closely like she waited for me to stop her talking. I nodded for her to go on.

"When the burning was finally over and I opened my eyes, Carlisle repeated what had happened to me and what I'd become. I laughed at him, not really believing his words. But subconsciously I knew he told me the truth. I felt the changes in me and when I looked in the mirror and saw that I was even more beautiful than before – more beautiful even than Carlisle and his little family, I felt ecstatic. Then I started remembering what had happened before the change and I realized that it was the beauty that got me raped…"

She smirked, shaking her head. "You would think that I must hate my looks now, but it's not the case. My desire to look beautiful, to be admired was embedded in me too deeply, so even when I realized that it was my vanity that caused my troubles, I just couldn't change it. And it'll never change since I'm now frozen like this." She waved her hand over her body again, disgust written on her face.

"At first, I wasn't that upset with my change. I was beautiful, strong, fast… But then I found out that my body would never change. That I would never have the one thing I'd wanted the most. Still, I couldn't bring myself to hate Carlisle for what he'd done. I only blamed Royce and his friends. So as the time went on and my newborn thirst started to fade, a plan started forming in my head. All I could think about was revenge."

"What did you do?" I whispered, though I thought I could guess the answer.

"I killed them," she said with a strange look of satisfaction. "One by one, leaving Royce for the last. I wanted him to suffer the most. He'd already heard about the murders of his friends so he was scared that he would be next. He was hiding in a windowless room in the basement of his house, that little coward," she sneered. "Of course that was nothing for me. I got a little theatrical, I wore a wedding dress that I'd stolen from a shop nearby. The look on his face when he saw me was worth it. I took my time with him…" she trailed off and her eyes snapped to me and widened a little when she saw my undoubtedly green face. "I'm sorry, Bella. I got carried away."

"It's okay," I managed to gasp. I'd been imagining everything she'd said and the picture I came with in the end was like something from a horror movie.

"I never drank their blood, Bella," she said after a few moments of silence. "I just couldn't stand the thought of having any part of them in me again. So if it weren't for the murders, my slate would have been as clean as Carlisle's because I've never slipped," she said proudly.

We were quiet for a few minutes. Rosalie then excused herself and went to check on Sarah. When she came back, she sat down again and folded her hands on the table in front of her.

"Can I ask you something?" I said, already feeling the heat raising to my cheeks.

She nodded, tilting her head curiously.

"After what happened to you, how can you… be with another man _that way_?" I blurted it out quickly before I lost my nerve to ask that.

Rosalie surprised me by laughing but she quickly composed herself. "You know, sex isn't a bad word," she said with a smirk but then she turned serious again. "It wasn't easy at first and it took a long time for us to get to that point. Maybe it'll surprise you but Emmett can be patient and gentle when necessary."

I nodded and then frowned, biting my lip. Her mentioning Emmett made me remember what Edward had once said. "Edward told me that you'd found Emmett dying in the woods…" I said slowly.

"Yes," she said quietly. "He was bleeding so much, I was afraid I wouldn't make it to Carlisle in time…" she trailed off, looking into the distance.

I was quiet for a minute or so, thinking about my next words. "I don't understand one thing," I said and Rosalie refocused on me. "You clearly hate being a vampire." She nodded. "Then how could you force this life onto someone else? It doesn't make sense."

Something flashed in her eyes but, surprisingly, it wasn't anger. "Because I'm a selfish creature, Bella. When I saw him, something changed in me. Even covered in blood he was beautiful and looked somehow innocent. His hair and dimples, that showed even when he was screaming in pain, reminded me of little Henry. I knew I was being selfish but I couldn't let him die. I only prayed he wouldn't hate me forever but I was lucky. Maybe more lucky than I deserved."

I was glad that she saw it that way and I didn't have to point it out to her. There was one more thing that bothered me and since we were already talking about Emmett, I decided to just go ahead and say what I needed to say.

"Um… Edward also said, that if you were given the chance, you would trade Emmett for the chance of having a baby. Is that true?"

She stared at me calmly. "I know what it looks like to you, Bella. That Emmett isn't enough for me." I nodded slowly. "I love him with everything I have. After I'd found him, this life got much better. I only wish more than anything that I could have a baby with him." Her eyes were pleading now. "But yes, if someone offered me the chance to be human again but I'd have to give up Emmett, I would do it. It would tear me apart but I would still do it."

I'd expected she would deny it. I'd hoped for it. "It would kill Emmett," I whispered, my throat tightening. I'd come to love the big vampire as a brother I'd never had and the thought of him suffering was very disturbing.

Rosalie nodded. "I know you care for my husband, Bella. And I'm sorry but… I can't change this," she said sadly.

We were quiet for a while, the only sound I could hear came from the TV from the living room. Even Sarah had stopped giggling a while ago.

"Why did you want me to know about your past, Rosalie?" I asked, taking her by surprise. Then I added quickly, "I mean, I appreciate that you did but this seems like a very personal thing. I'm not sure I would be able to talk about it with just anyone."

"You're with Edward, Bella. You're basically family," she said with a small smile. "And I wanted you to know what you're getting yourself into." She leaned forward on her elbows, looking intensely into my eyes. "You have your whole life ahead of you, Bella, and you're ready to just throw it away. You can have it all. A husband, your own family… I know you love Edward, I can see that. But don't throw away your life for him."

I watched her calmly. I'd already heard all of it before. "Edward has already said basically the same thing to me. Repeatedly."

That surprised her. "He has?"

"Of course. He's afraid I would regret it after I'm changed." I shrugged. "But I'm not you, Rosalie. Having children has never been something I wanted. I'm happy with Edward and I know that if I died, he would too. I can't let that happen, not when I can do something about it."

She stared at me quietly for a long time, searching for something in my eyes. At last she nodded and leaned back in her chair. "Okay," she said quietly. "I had to try." Then she said a little louder, "And I'm sorry for the way I treated you, Bella."

"It's okay. We haven't seen each other much so…" I trailed off with a shrug.

"No, I mean it. I wasn't fair to you. I was jealous and I was afraid that you would ruin my family," she said with pleading eyes.

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "I remember you saying that. But just now you've said that I should stay human. Yet if I stayed human, I would die and so would Edward and your family would be ruined. So it seems a little contradictory."

She laughed shortly. "It sure is. I think I just wanted you to know all the consequences. I should have known that you thought it through."

"Well, I have a lot of time these days," I said with a grin.

She laughed again and then turned serious. "Really Bella. I'll try to be nicer to you."

"Thank you, Rosalie."

She tilted her head and her lips twitched. "My family is allowed to call me Rose. You are family now."

I smiled widely at this. "Okay, _Rose_."


	16. A Step Forward

**Chapter sixteen**

The first days of December passed in a blur of activities. I had resumed studying magic in the morning when everyone, except for Esme, was away. Learning new things was harder now when I had to use only non-verbal magic. But I was slowly getting better at it and it usually took me no more than a few tries to learn a new spell.

Esme, in the meantime, looked after little Sarah. Toby always dropped her off in the early morning just before he went to work and Esme spent all morning with her, doing whatever Sarah wanted. Thankfully, she wasn't a spoiled child so they were usually drawing pictures or Esme was reading to her.

So it didn't surprise me when Esme made a suggestion to Toby as soon as he arrived for another lesson on Tuesday afternoon.

"You said Sarah would be homeschooled before starting the magical school," she started innocently, placing a tray full of home-made sandwiches on the coffee table.

"Yes," Toby said with a curious look.

"So I was wondering if I could teach her," she said, hesitating a little. When Toby didn't reply right away, she pressed on, "I used to be a teacher when I was human and I have a lot of time. I could teach her the basics like reading and writing and math…"

Toby looked taken aback by her offer. "That's very kind of you, Esme, but I'm not sure I can accept it."

"Why not?"

Toby averted his eyes, looking uncomfortable. "I won't be able to afford it. I have to pay for my mother's hospitalization and as an Apparition instructor I don't make as much money as I did as an Auror."

"I'm not asking you to pay for it," Esme stated calmly.

"You don't want any money for babysitting Sarah and I simply refuse to let you do even more for us for free," Toby insisted firmly.

I kept looking back and forth between the two of them curiously. Esme was still calm when she spoke next. "How much money do you take for Bella's lessons?"

I gasped, clapping my hand over my mouth. I just realized that it had never occured to me to offer Toby money for the lessons. It was embarrassing and I was determined to fix it. "Of course I'll pay for - " I started but Esme put up her hand to stop me, still looking straight into Toby's eyes.

"That's different," he said with a frown.

"How?"

Toby seemed unable to come up with a satisfying answer so he just shrugged. "It just is."

"No, it's not," Esme said, dropping her hand so she could cross her arms across her chest. "But if you're determined to make it all about money, we'll pay you for Bella's lessons and you can give us the money back for tutoring Sarah. Or we can both be reasonable and just leave the money out of it altogether."

Now I really had to step in. "Why would you want to pay for my lessons, Esme? I can do it myself." Then I turned to address Toby. "I'm sorry I didn't think of it."

Toby ignored me, still staring at Esme, his lips pressed into a line. Esme turned to me with a warm smile. "Don't be silly, Bella. You're family, of course we'd pay for you."

"But - " I started to protest but Esme gave me a stern look, daring me to continue. I shut up, for now, knowing that Esme could be as stubborn as Edward or Alice when necessary. That didn't mean I had to like it though.

Toby then sighed, making me look back at him. "Alright," he said, looking resigned. "I can see that you won't budge." Esme beamed triumphantly at his words. "Thank you, Esme."

* * *

I couldn't stop thinking about Esme's words for the rest of the day. I'd pushed it out of my mind briefly, so I could concentrate on the lesson, but after I'd gotten home I could think of nothing else.

 _"You're family, of course we'd pay for you."_

It was the second time in two days that one of the Cullens had refered to me as a family. First Rose and then Esme. But I wasn't a part of their family. Not yet anyway. I supposed that at some point I would end up marrying Edward but that was a very distant future, something I was definitely not even thinking about yet. We'd been together for a little over two months, for God's sake!

"For once I can easily guess what you're thinking," said Edward in an amused voice. He'd been sitting on my bed, leaning back with his arms behind his head, and watching me cleaning the same spot on my dresser for the last ten minutes. I did it without magic just to have something to do.

I stopped and turned to him. "Oh, really?" I threw the duster I'd been using on the dresser, crossing my arms defiantly.

He chuckled. "Yes, really." Then he held out his hand, inviting me to join him on the bed. I scowled at him but couldn't deny his invitation even if I wanted to. He pulled me to him, sitting me on his outstretched legs so I was striding his thighs.

"So? What am I thinking about?"

Edward grinned, dropping a light kiss on the tip of my nose. "It's bothering you that Esme was willing to pay for your lessons," he said. "Am I right?"

"Well, partly," I said with a sigh, leaning my forehead against his. "But it's more about what Esme said." Edward pulled back slightly so he could see my face, raising his eyebrows questioningly. "I mean, she said I was family. And Rosalie said the same thing yesterday."

 _"That's_ what's bothering you?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, I'm not, aren't I? I'm not a part of your family. I'm not a Cullen."

He laughed out loud. "That can be easily rectified, if that's the only problem you have," he said with a lopsided grin.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Be serious, Edward. I'm not going to marry you after only two months of dating. Charlie would have a fit."

My words didn't seem to bother him at all. "Charlie knows our relationship is permanent. He wouldn't be that surprised." His smile widened. "And imagine Alice's reaction to the news!"

"I'd rather not," I said with a shudder. "But seriously. I'm not a part of your family, so why did Esme say she would pay for me? She said it like there was no question about it."

"Bella," Edward said with a sigh, his smile fading a little. "You've been a part of my family since the moment you decided to become a vampire just to be with me."

"Oh."

"I still don't understand why it's bothering you."

I sighed, straightening up on his thighs, my eyes sliding down to his chest. "I don't really know. It just seems that everything's going too fast. It's like we've been together for much longer than just two months." I couldn't really explain, even to myself, why exactly I was freaking out about this. All I knew was, that I was scared but didn't really know of what.

Edward could see my anxiety because he gently took my face in his big hands and looked right into my eyes. "You're not the only one who's scared, Bella," he said quietly but with a certain urgency. "I am too. This is just as new for me as it is for you. But we can slow down, if you want."

That made me laugh. "Slow down? We can't really go any slower, can we?"

He laughed too, shaking his head. "I meant that we don't have to talk about our future that much. Physically, well, I'd actually like to go a little faster…" he trailed off, averting his eyes.

I waited for a few seconds for him to elaborate but he didn't. "What do you mean faster?" I asked slowly, trying to catch his eyes.

He glanced up at me but then fixed his eyes on my lips. "I've been thinking about trying something new," he said cryptically.

I sighed impatiently but at the same time his words filled me with excitement. "Can you be more specific?"

"I want to try to kiss you."

I snorted. "Edward," I said slowly, like I was talking to a child, "I don't know how to say this but… we already do that."

Edward rolled his eyes at me and let out a breathless laugh. "I mean I want to _really_ kiss you," he clarified.

I blinked in confusion. He didn't say anything else and kept staring at me meaningfully. Then, slowly, it dawned on me. "You mean… a real kiss? Like um… with tongues?" I could feel the heat in my cheeks now.

He nodded slowly, gauging my reaction.

"I… I'd love that but… I thought it was dangerous or something."

"It is," he said, his expression serious. "We'd have to be really careful. I talked to Carlisle about it and - "

"What? You talk to Carlisle about these things? It's private, Edward. Jesus." I felt mortified even though there was really not much to talk about in the first place.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Relax, Bella. No, I don't usually talk about these things with anyone, though, as you know, there are really no secrets in our family." I did know that but had always tried not to think about it. With a slow nod I let him go on. "Like I was saying, I talked to Carlisle because I wanted to know his opinion about how dangerous it really is."

"Oh." That made sense. I felt stupid now for my little outburst. "Sorry. What did he say?"

Edward leaned his head back against the headboard, resting his hands on the sides of my thighs. "He thinks that as long as my venom doesn't get straight into your bloodstream, it should be alright. I'd have to be in control of that kiss," he looked at me apologetically and I nodded quickly, "and we have to be careful so my teeth wouldn't accidentally hurt you…"

"You really want to do that," I observed. His eyes had been fixed on my lips but after my words he looked up into my eyes.

"Yes." Then he frowned slightly, tilting his head a little. "But it's alright if you don't. We don't have to do it. It was just an idea, that's all," he said quickly, looking sideways.

"No!" I cried out a little louder than I'd intended. His eyes shot back to my face. More quietly I added, "I want it too. I'm just a little nervous," I admitted.

"I am too. More than just a little," he said, smiling shyly. "But if we want to move forward I think we should do it. If you're really sure you want to, that is."

I nodded fervently but then hesitated. "Um… now?"

"Yes," he whispered but I knew that if I said no he would respect it.

"Okay." I could feel my heart beating furiously and I bit my lower lip nervously, not really knowing what to do.

Edward took a few deep breaths then carefully lifted me off his thighs and lay me down on my back so he was hovering above me, supporting his weight on his left elbow. With his free hand he gently cupped my face, caressing my cheek with his thumb. I closed my eyes, leaning into his touch. Then slowly, carefully, just like before our very first kiss, he gently pressed his lips to mine. Just like the other day on the beach he traced his tongue across my lower lip. Even though I had warmed his body again when he'd come to my room, his tongue was still cold since the spell worked only on his skin. My lips parted automatically and then I felt the tip of his tongue lightly touching mine.

It was like an electric shock shot through my body. I gasped into his mouth and Edward hesitated a little, giving me time to pull away. I didn't. Instead, I threw my arms around him, pulling him even closer to me. He tilted his head to get a better access and the next second we were kissing like never before. When our tongues started slowly sliding against each other my body reacted on it's own accord.

My hands grabbed Edward's hair, pulling at it with all my strength. My left leg shot up, wrapping itself around his waist. My body pressed itself against his as close as possible at this angle. It felt so good, my body was tingling everywhere and I wanted to be even closer to him…

Then I felt a gust of air and he was gone.

I opened my eyes, looking around, confused and still breathing heavily. Cold air was now blowing into the room and when I looked toward to window, I saw Edward standing there, his head sticking out the window.

"Edward?" I choked out, still breathless.

He took a few more deep breaths and slowly turned to me. His expression nearly knocked the breath out of me. His eyes were wide and wild, seemingly darker than before, his hair a complete mess around his head. I also noticed that he was gripping the windowsill so tightly that he was leaving dents in it.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, bewildered.

"I… I need to go," he breathed out and then he slipped out the window into the night.

* * *

Two hours later I was still alone in my room. I had taken a shower to calm myself down because my body had been all wound up after our activities. Now I was trying to read while waiting for Edward to come back. I hoped he would come back tonight. I needed to talk to him, to find out what had happened, what had made him react like that. Though I thought I knew.

Yet again I hadn't been able to control myself around him. I knew it was still sometimes difficult for him to be that close. I knew that my sudden movements made it even worse. Yet I'd done it again.

I sighed, throwing the book aside on my bedside table. Leaning against the headboard, I pulled the covers over me more tightly. I looked toward the still half open window and sighed again. It was almost eleven and though I wasn't particularly tired, I wanted Edward here already.

I closed my eyes, thinking. I wished I could have had a normal relationship with Edward. I wished he didn't have to run away everytime things got a little heated up between us. I wished he didn't have to be in pain because of how my blood smelled to him. I wished we got news about the development of the new vampire potion which would maybe solve some of our problems. So far though, we hadn't heard a word from Amelia since we'd asked her about it nearly three weeks ago.

At the same time though, I found Edward's dark, vampire side strangely attractive. It was a part of him just as much as his bronze hair or his gentle, slightly old-fashioned manners. I was pretty sure that I would have loved him just the same if he was an ordinary human boy but I still couldn't deny my attraction to the vampire in him.

Suddenly I felt a movement in my room and opened my eyes. Edward was back, standing by the window again, staring at me apprehensively.

"Hi," I said, relieved he had come back after all.

"Hello," he whispered warily.

I reached out a hand, wordlessly begging him to come closer. He hesitated for a few seconds but then let out a sigh and took a few steps toward my bed. He took my hand and sat down on the edge of the mattress, facing me.

"I'm sorry Bella," he started but I covered his mouth with my palm to stop him.

"No, it's me who should apologize," I said, rolling my eyes. "I shouldn't have made sudden moves, I know that, but I just couldn't stop myself. I'm sorry."

He'd started shaking his head even before I'd finished, gently removing my hand from his mouth. "That wasn't really the problem, Bella."

"It wasn't? But what made you run away then?"

Edward grimaced, looking down at our joined hands. "I don't want to embarrass you."

"I still want to know." I braced myself for whatever he was about to say.

"Alright then," he said, taking a deep breath, and lifted his eyes to look at me. "It was your scent but not just the scent of your blood." I stared at him, perplexed. "I could smell your… arousal." He barely whispered the last word but to me it was like he'd shouted it.

Immediately, my face turned beet red and I felt utterly mortified. "What?! You… you could smell that? Oh my God!" I buried my face into my hands.

I felt him shift closer to me and then his fingers wrapped around my wrists and gently pried them away from my face. He put a finger under my chin, making me look at him.

"Don't be embarrassed, sweetheart." Suddenly his lips pulled up into a smirk. "At least I know I did it right."

Despite my embarrassment I laughed. "Yeah." Then I frowned. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to control my reactions," I admitted.

"Bella, I definitely don't want you to not like it. I was just surprised. I should have expected it. I'm sure it will be better next time." He sounded pretty confident.

"So there will be a next time?" I smiled widely now, surprised that he was willing to do it again. I'd been sure he wouldn't want to.

"Yes." His forehead creased slightly. "But not tonight."

I nodded, more than happy to wait no matter how long. As long as it wasn't too long.

* * *

We didn't try it again the next few days but I didn't mind. I wanted to give Edward as much time as he needed. In the meantime, I had other things on my mind.

Christmas was just three weeks away and that meant Alice was in full Christmas mode. She'd started planning how to decorate the house right after we'd returned from Thanksgiving holidays and by Saturday she had bought all the necessary things, including a huge fir tree that barely fit into the spacious living room.

"Is she always like that?" I asked Jasper warily, as we were standing by the staircase, watching Alice bossily ordering Emmett around. He was holding the tree, trying to fit it into a space she'd thought was perfect.

Jasper nodded solemnly. "Yes. But I suppose this year will be even worse with you and Charlie around. And then there's the party…"

I groaned. I'd completely forgotten about the party I had stupidly suggested to her once, just to talk her out of the Halloween party she'd wanted to throw.

"She's serious about that?"

Jasper chuckled. "Don't you know her by now?"

I groaned again. "I deeply regret ever suggesting it."

"You know I can hear you, right?" said Alice without turning to us. "And don't roll your eyes at me, Bella!"

I gritted my teeth, suppressing the urge to roll my eyes like she'd already seen in her vision.

"I think I'm going to - " Jasper started but didn't get to finish his sentence.

"No, you'll stay here. I need you to move the couch to the wall." Alice pointed at the couch, but she was still facing Emmett who'd finally, after some well chosen swear words, managed to fit the tree into the corner without bending the top of the huge fir.

"It's not like you can't do it yourself," Jasper muttered but he winked at me and slowly made his way to the couch then lifted it like it weighed nothing and moved it to where Alice had directed him.

I hadn't spent much time around Jasper after my disastrous attempt to apparate. Charlie still didn't like seeing me anywhere near him and since Sarah had started spending time in the Cullen house, Jasper was often away. It made me a little sad. I genuinely liked him and was sure that we could have been good friends if he had managed to control his thirst just as well as the others could.

"You know she's planning to include you, right?" said Edward's voice suddenly from behind me. I jumped in surprise. I'd not heard him approach. "Sorry," he muttered in my ear, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

"Don't do this to me," I scolded him softly but leaned into his arms. "Where have you been anyway?"

"Upstairs," he said cryptically but I just shrugged, letting it go. It wasn't like I needed to know his every move.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed suddenly, pointing at me with her finger. "I want you to help me decorate the tree!"

Edward chuckled quietly but I ignored him, walking slowly to Alice, waiting for her instructions. She beamed at me and I raised my eyebrows expectantly.

"Come on! Do some magic!" she said excitedly, waving her hand toward the boxes full of Christmas decoration.

I pulled my wand out of my jeans and looked at Alice questioningly. "What exactly do you want me to do first?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "God, Bella! Have you never decorated a tree? The star goes first, of course!"

I bit back a smirk, quite enjoying annoying Alice, and then obediently waved my wand toward the open box with the golden star in it. The star flew in the air and I maneuvered it up and on the top of the tree.

Alice clapped her hands excitedly and I followed her next instructions. In a few minutes the tree was fully decorated with red and golden balls, stars, ribbons and little angels and also golden chains that were draped around it. The lights were hidden beneath the branches and needles but when we tried to turn them on, the whole tree lit up with a golden light.

It looked amazing and the rest of the family, that had been drawn to the living room by their curiosity, were admiring our work excitedly. But I still wasn't completely happy with it. It felt like there was something missing.

Suddenly I had an idea. Alice started jumping up and down excitedly and I could hear Edward's low laughter somewhere behind me. Emmett groaned impatiently but I ignored them all and raised my wand again, pointing at the tree once more. I gave it a little flick and the little angels, that had been hanging limply from the tree branches, rose to the air and started fluttering their wings. They stayed on the spot about an inch from the tree but the movement of their little wings made the otherwise stationary fir look like it was alive.

"That´s amazing, Bella," Esme sighed happily beside me and the others murmured their agreements.

"Thanks," I said with a grin.

Right then Alice gasped and I quickly turned to her to see what was wrong. Her eyes were glazed over - a clear sign of a new vision – and her mouth formed a little o. Then her eyes cleared again and her lips stretched into a wide smile.

"We might get an early Christmas present!"


	17. The Party

**Chapter seventeen**

"What did you see?" I and Emmett asked almost simultaneously.

Alice's smile widened but she shook her head. 'You'll see."

Everyone immediately turned to Edward, certain that he would provide us some explanation but he was staring at Alice with raised eyebrows.

"What did she see?" I asked him, tugging at his sleeve.

He looked down at me, his lips curving into a crooked smile. "You'll see," he said much to everyone's disappointment.

"Oh come on!" Emmett whined loudly. "I hate when you two do that!"

"You'll find out soon enough," said Alice cheerfully, turning her attention back to the Christmas tree.

Neither she nor Edward would tell us anything else, no matter how hard we tried to get the secret out of them. We eventually stopped trying, knowing it was pointless, except for Emmett who just wouldn't give up. As I was eating lunch he even tried to persuade me to "seduce it" out of Edward. I choked on my sandwich, turning red.

"You know he's not going to tell me!" I spluttered.

"He's a man, Bella. All you have to do is take your clothes off and he'll do whatever you want."

"You're an idiot, Emmett," said Rosalie, who'd just appeared behind him, slapping the back of his head.

"What? It works on me!" Emmett said, winking at Rose. She rolled her eyes, looking amused.

"You can't keep secret from me to safe your life, Emmett," Rose said. „You would always tell me everything even without me throwing my clothes off."

"True." He grinned. „But it's more fun." They looked at each other with soft smiles, making me uncomfortable.

"Okay, I think I'm finished anyway," I muttered, taking the empty plate to the dishwasher, and hurriedly walked out of the kitchen just as the two of them started kissing, completely ignoring me.

I looked for Edward but he was nowhere to be seen. The living room was empty and he wasn't at his piano either. Slowly, I made my way through the house and finally found him in his room, sitting at his desk, looking intently at the screen of his laptop. He didn't turn to me when I walked in but held out his hand. I took the three steps to close the gap between us and grasped his fingers eagerly.

Edward finally looked up at me with a wide smile. "I'm disappointed. I was expecting you to walk in here naked."

I rolled my eyes, my cheeks warming up. "Would you tell me the secret if I did?"

He laughed. "No, but I would definitely enjoy the view."

"What would there be in it for me then?"

"Well, you would make me happy," he said with a shrug and moved his chair back a little so he could pull me down into his lap.

"You're sure you wouldn't run away?" I blurted out and froze instantly, watching his reaction. I didn't want to offend him.

Fortunately he laughed again, pulling me closer to him, and burried his face into the crook of my neck. He pressed his lips against my throat and whispered, suddenly more serious. "No, I wouldn't run away."

My breath caught in my throat and I swallowed. "That's… good to know," I managed to choke out, aware of his hands running up and down my back. I would love to stay like this for hours but I knew, even though I hadn't seen anyone on my way upstairs, that everyone was in the house and I was in danger of making some very embarrassing noises if Edward kept it up. I pulled away slightly, turning to the laptop. "What have you been doing anyway?"

He sighed quietly, straightening up. "Looking for some Christmas presents."

Damn. I haven't even started thinking about that. And it would be quite a problem this year too. Usually I bought something only for my parents and Ginny. This year I would have to give something to all the Cullens and maybe Angela. I had no idea how I'd be able to pay for it. I shook my head slightly to get rid of these thoughts for now. "Did you find anything?" I asked, keeping my tone light.

"Well, I just started looking," he said with a shrug. Then he added with a grin. "I already have something for you though."

"You do?" I nearly squeaked. His words didn't make me feel much better.

"Yep."

"Oh. I hope it's not something expensive," I mumbled, frowning, avoiding my eyes.

He laughed quietly, lifting my chin with his forefinger. "I didn't spend anything at all," he said smugly.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I don't believe you."

"You'll see." He grinned, kissing the tip of my nose.

I frowned, looking away. What on earth should I give him for Christmas? He had everything he wanted or needed. The same went for the rest of his family. I sighed and immediately felt his finger under my chin, turning my head to look at him.

"You know we don't expect any presents from you, right?"

I stared at him. "I thought you couldn't read my mind."

Edward laughed. "I can't but I can read your face."

I sighed. "I have to get you something, Edward. Besides, you've just said you have a present for me already."

"Yes, but I don't want anything from you."

I narrowed my eyes. "Well, that won't do. Either we both give each other something or you don't give me anything either."

He gave me a glare but then shook his head. "Alright. But know that I wouldn't be angry if you didn't get me anything."

"Okay."

His head then turned sideways and he creased his forehead slightly. Turning back to me with a wide grin, he put his right arm under my knees and stood up with me in his arms.

"It's time to reveal the big secret!" he said and before I could think of a reaction he started to move in top speed. In about three seconds we were in the living room and Edward carefully put me down on my a little shaky legs.

"Thanks," I breathed out and he kissed the top of my head. Alice was already standing by the back door, looking out through the glass, bouncing on her feet. The others were sitting on the couch or standing nearby, all with curious expressions.

I looked up at Edward and he grinned but at the same time the unmistakable sound of an Apparation came from the outside. I quickly turned to see Amelia and Angela standing in the middle of the backyard lawn. Angela waved at me and they both walked inside through the back doors Alice had opened for them.

"Did you tell them?" Amelia asked Alice as she was passing her.

"No, but I couldn't keep it from Edward," Alice said with a shy smile.

After Edward's assurance that he hadn't told us anything either, we all moved to the living room and sat down. Only Amelia remained standing.

"So," she started, looking around at us all. "I have some news for you."

I leaned forward a little, feeling Edward squeeze my hand.

"I heard from my brother that this morning the Congress approved of renewing the attempts to make the blood repulsing potion for vampires."

Her last words were drowned in earsplitting cheers. Emmett had jumped off his seat, throwing his fist in the air and giving a high-five to Jasper who looked just as thrilled. Carlisle's face threatened to split in half and it looked like only the fear of losing his dignity stopped him from joining Emmett and Jasper. I beamed up at Edward and saw him watching his brothers with a wide smile.

Amelia cleared her throat and everyone fell quiet at once. "I understand that this is a great news for you but know that it's just the beginning. The potion has to be made and tested first and it might take months. However," she raised her voice a little over a few grumbling noises, "I believe that, with your help, it's going to be rather sooner than later."

"We'll do whatever it takes," said Carlisle earnestly.

"That's good because our team for research and experiments need at least one of you for the testing." Her eyes stayed on Carlisle and I heard Edward next to me chuckle.

"Of course!" Carlisle leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "I volunteer."

"I volunteer too," said Alice, straightening up in her seat. "I'd like to try and see the outcome before it's tested."

"That would be very useful, thank you Alice," said Amelia with a smile. "Of course the potion will have to be tested on all of you in the final stage but I'll inform my brother about the two of you and he will let you know when you are needed."

They proceeded to make further arrangements but I didn't listen. I could feel Edward's excitement radiating off of him and it made me giddy. Was it possible that my wish would come true after all? Of course, I might be needed in Britain before the potion is ready but it gave me hope anyway.

* * *

The same day Angela talked me into doing some Christmas shopping with her the next weekend. She wanted to go to the Western Square in Los Angeles, one of the at least two American magical shopping places. We invited Alice along since there really was no point in trying to surprise her with a gift.

By the time Saturday came Alice was literally bouncing with excitement. She'd been upset she couldn't go with us the last time me and Angela went there two months ago. She even grudgingly agreed to travel via the Floo Network which was something she'd been stubbornly refusing to do.

We had a really good time at the Western Square. Alice was wearing a wide brim hat, sunglasses and a pair of gloves because of the sunny weather so no one actually noticed she was a vampire. At first she didn't know where to look first but once she calmed down a little, she proved to be very useful. She gave me some tips for presents for her family and despite my protests lent me some money when I ran short of mine. I swore to pay her back as soon as possible which she waved off with a dramatic eyeroll.

When Angela and I were having a late lunch in the Flying Dragon, the talk turned to the party Alice had been planning for next Friday.

"I can't wait!" Alice said enthusiastically, waving her hands around, effectivelly drawing attention to us. She had taken off the hat and sunglasses so now people started recognizing her for what she was. Amelia had assured us that the news about the Cullens had been spread around so there should be no problem with them coming to magical places. Alice ignored the stares and whispers and went on, "Half of the school want to come, of course, but I'll have to reduce the number a little. Our house is big but it still has limits."

"Jesus, Alice!" I hissed, alarmed. "I thought it would be just us and Angela! Why did you invite the whole school?!"

Angela laughed but Alice looked at me calmly. "Oh Bella. It wouldn't be much of a party with just us, would it? Of course I invited a few people and the word just got around then. No one wants to miss the opportunity to see the mysterious Cullen house." She giggled. "And I do it for your own good. Or rather Edward's."

"And why is that?" I asked skeptically.

"Some people need to see with their own eyes that you and Edward are still together." Then she frowned a little. "Of course I can't see if it'll work for sure but maybe it would shake them off his back."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Please tell me you didn't invite Lauren Mallory."

"Well, _I_ didn't but she found out from Jessica and she's definitely coming."

"She's planning to seduce Edward in his room," said Angela with an amused smirk. "I heard her tell Jessica in the bathrooms."

I gritted my teeth angrily. That girl had some nerve. Alice then touched my arm. "Cheer up, Bella! At least you'll get the chance to scratch her eyes out!" she said with a tinkling laughter. I had to admit that the thought did cheer me up considerably.

* * *

The next week flew by in a flash like time always does when you're so not looking forward to something. I didn't want to see people from school and Alice could say whatever she wanted about being it for my or Edward's good, it still didn't change my view on it. I refused to join in the preparations, much to Alice's disapproval, and stubbornly spent most of the time reading or studying in Edward's room.

Edward found my attitude deeply amusing.

"You look like you'd like to set her on fire with your look," he whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms around me from behind. It was Thursday afternoon and I'd just witnessed Alice putting various nonalcoholic beverages in the fridge.

"I just don't see the point of it," I grumbled, but sagged into his embrace.

He loosened his arms and took my hand and started leading me toward the stairs and up to his room. "I think it's quite a good idea, actually," he said, surprising me. I looked up at him incredulously. "I mean, look at it this way. There have always been rumours about us in town. We've never had anyone coming over until you turned up. People started to think we must hide something." Then he laughed. "Some people even think we are a part of some cult, doing weird rituals at night, just because we live so far from town." He opened the door of his room for me and led me to the bed, where we sat down. "So by having people see our house, how normal it is, we might stop some of the craziest rumours."

I sighed. His explanation sort of made sense. "Would you have done this if I wasn't here?" I couldn't help asking.

"Probably not," he admitted. "But it makes Alice happy. She always suffered from not having any friends, so we all go along with it because it makes her happy. So please, Bella, try to put up with it, just for the one evening." He'd turned more serious by the end of his speech.

I suddenly felt bad. I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for such an outgoing person, like Alice, to not have any friends except for her family. I bit my lip. "I didn't think about that," I muttered, ashamed. "I should apologize or something."

"No need," said Alice's voice from the door. She had her head stuck inside, smiling at me. "And you will enjoy at least a part of the party. I've seen it!" She giggled and was gone.

I looked at Edward but he was frowning after her. "She's keeping something from me," he muttered, shaking his head.

"How does she keep things from you?" I asked, curious. I knew that they all had their ways of hiding their thoughts from him but I'd never asked about the details.

"She's repeating all her favorite fashion brands," he said, rolling his eyes. I laughed, suddenly feeling much lighter.

* * *

By five o'clock Friday afternoon the house was ready for the party. The furniture in the living room was either moved to the walls or to other rooms so there was now enough room for dancing. Edward had grudgingly moved his sound system here and warned Rosalie, who was being in charge of music for tonight, to not break it. She looked like she'd like to slap him but gave him a tight smile and stormed off.

I still wasn't exactly thrilled about the party but after last night I tried to be more cool about it. I'd even helped Esme prepare some food this afternoon. She and Carlisle had decided to spend the night out of the house. Parties weren't exactly Carlisle's idea of fun and Esme took it as an opportunity for some time alone with him. I envied them immensely.

I'd also had to make the angels on the Christmas tree stop moving, much to everyone's disappointment. They looked really weird not moving.

The party was planned for 7 pm so there was still a little time which Alice decided to fill by dressing me appropriately. Ignoring my protests, she dragged me to Edward's room, where I had most of my clothes. I practically lived here these days, only going home for the nights so I could spend some time with Charlie.

"I am dressed already, Alice," I said through gritted teeth as soon as we entered the room and sat down on the bed.

She glared at me. "Seriously, Bella? It's a party not a book club meeting!"

I looked down at my jeans and a loose dark green sweater I liked. "I don't see anything wrong with it. And I don't need to impress anyone, I already have a boyfriend, you know." I shuddered internally as I thought of Mike Newton or Tyler Crowley who both would be here tonight. I definitely didn't want to impress _them_.

But Alice didn't seem to listen because she disappeared into the closet and was back in a few seconds with a pile of clothes in her arms. She threw it on the bed next to me and put her hands on her hips.

"You will put these on, Bella." I opened my mouth to say something because I really didn't like her commanding tone and I wanted to remind her of our agreement about her dressing me up but she didn't let me. "No arguments. And believe me, Edward will appreciate you wearing something more fitting for a change," she said with a satisfied smirk.

"Edward doesn't care what I wear," I muttered grumpily but gave up and slowly started to change into the clothes Alice had picked for me. They weren't that bad, I had to admit. The dark grey tight jeans went really well with a dark blue tank top and a black knitted cardigan. It was nothing extravagant and I actually liked it.

"That's what _you_ think," she said with a grin and placed a pair of black high boots in front of me. I hadn't even noticed where she'd gotten them from. Thankfully there were no heels.

When I was finally dressed accordingly, she scanned my appearance with a critical look. Then she grinned at me, grabbed my hand and dragged me to the bathroom. I didn't bother arguing when she put a light make-up on my face, brushed my eyelashes a few times with a mascara and at last applied a lip gloss on my lips. After that she brushed my hair, letting it fall loosely around my shoulders and down my back. When she was done I had to admit that I looked good but it was still me.

"Thanks, Alice," I muttered and she beamed.

"You look stunning," said Edward's voice from the door. I turned around and saw him leaning against the bathroom doorway with his hands in his pockets.

"You're welcome," said Alice with a wide smile as she was passing Edward on her way out of the bathroom.

Edward took a step toward me, taking my hands. He looked amazing as usual but I noticed his button down shirt was the exact same shade of dark blue as my tank top. I lowered my eyes, suddenly feeling shy. I heard him sigh quietly and of course his forefinger appeared under my chin, lifting my head. "Though I'll have to watch you like a hawk tonight or Newton might kidnap you."

I snorted, making him laugh. "I'll kick him in the balls if he tries," I said, feeling much more confident now.

Edward blinked a few times but then threw back his head, letting out a surprised laugh. "That I'd love to see." Then he sighed, tugging gently at my hand. "Come on, they're going to be here in five minutes."

* * *

The party was a hit. In the end there were only about twenty people coming but it was enough to fill the whole ground floor. Of course, Lauren was there together with Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Eric and Angela, who was the only person I genuinely liked to see. There were a few more people I only knew from sight and some I didn't know at all.

Jessica rushed to me as soon as she spotted me, hugging me like we'd been best friends. Well, we'd been quite friendly when I was at school so I returned her hug with a smile.

"Hi, Jess."

"You look great, Bella! Gosh it's good to see you again. I didn't even have a chance to say goodbye when you left! We all miss you at school, don't we, Lauren?" She turned to Lauren, giving her a meaningful look.

Lauren put on the fakest smile possible. "Sure," she said but her eyes were fixed on something behind me. I didn't even have to turn around to know who she was looking at. I gave her a smile just as fake as hers but neither of us bothered with a hug. After all, we'd barely spoken to each other during the month I'd attended Forks High.

Mike and Tyler were the next to say hi to me. Apparently Mike was dating Jessica again so I supposed he wouldn't try anything tonight. Too bad, I thought. It seemed his balls were safe for now. I turned to Edward who was standing a few feet from us with Jasper and Emmett, and was surprised to see him glaring at both Mike and Tyler.

"Hey, Bella!" said Tyler, grabbing my hand. It made me slightly uncomfortable but I squashed the feeling down, smiling at him politely. "You look really awesome! Hey, what about a dance? As an apology for the accident, you know." He winked at me but suddenly dropped my hand like it had burned him and his eyes widened slightly. At the same time I felt a gentle touch on the small of my back as Edward had materialized next to me.

"I'm sorry, Tyler, but I don't really dance," I said, now smiling genuinely, and leaned against Edward's side. Immediately his right arm wrapped tightly around my waist, pulling me closer. I looked up, finally seeing Edward's face. He was glaring murderously at Tyler, reacting to whatever Tyler must have been thinking. I nudged him in the ribs lighly. "Stop it," I hissed under my breath so Tyler wouldn't hear.

Edward glanced down at me but obeyed. His body relaxed slightly and he even composed his face into a more neutral expression.

"Okay, fine, nevermind," Tyler quickly stammered out, backing away. "I'll ask someone else." Then he scurried off like a terrified squirel.

I looked up at Edward again, frowning. "What was that about? I had it under control."

"You didn't hear his thoughts. They were utterly disgusting," he said in a low voice, his jaws still locked angrily.

I rolled my eyes but let it go. I didn't want to argue with him and if I was being honest, I found his protectiveness, or rather jealousy, quite adorable.

I had my own chance at jealousy about two hours later.

I went to the kitchen for something to drink. It was too hot in the living room because of all the dancing people and the music was too loud for my taste. But Alice seemed to have a great time, socializing with everyone and being an amazing host.

Just before I turned to the kitchen doorway, I heard voices from inside.

"… didn't know you play, Eddie. Maybe you could play something tonight?" Lauren's voice was higher than usual and had an unpleasant tinge that made me want to strangle her.

I stopped right before the kitchen entrance and leaned against the wall, listening.

"I don't really play in front of people," I heard Edward reply. He sounded polite but there was a slight edge to his tone.

"Maybe you could play just for me sometime."

"I don't think so."

There was a short silence.

"I have to find Bella, so if you'll excuse me…" I had to smile at Edward's clear attempt to get rid of her but Lauren wasn't about to give up that easily.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about her, Eddie," Lauren started. There was no audible reaction from Edward so she went on. "I heard you two are still dating, is it true?"

Again, I heard no response but I supposed he nodded.

"You know, I've always wondered why the long distance relationships almost never work. People always think they can make it but it almost always ends within a few months…" she trailed off.

"We're doing fine. Now I really have to -"

"I don't think Bella is the right person to have this kind of relationship with," she pressed on. "She always seemed a bit… flighty, you know? She managed to turn heads of half of the boys in school when she first turned up so who knows how many guys she's been with since she left. But don't worry, Eddie, I'm ready to help you -"

I'd had enough. I'd straightened up and with a great effort put a big smile on my face, ready to step in before she could finish that sentence. I only regretted leaving my wand hidden in Edward's room.

I walked through the kitchen doorway, fanning my face with my hand.

"God, it's so hot in there! I'm so thirsty!" I said, making my way straight for the fridge. Edward was leaning against the kitchen counter while Lauren was standing two feet from him, leaning forward to him, clearly keeping him from leaving. His face was unreadable on the surface but his shoulders were straightened minutely and his right hand was twitching by his side like he wanted to run it through his hair in frustration but the gentleman in him wouldn't allow it.

As I'd walked in, Lauren pulled away slightly. An annoyed look crossed her face but she quickly changed it into the same fake smile as earlier tonight.

Edward, on the other hand, looked relieved to see me.

"I was getting you a soda but Lauren wanted to talk," he said, his eyes begging me to get him out of here.

"Yes, Eddie and I have become good friends at school so we've just been catching up. So much work at school that we didn't have much time to hang out." She let out a high pitched laugh.

I noticed Edward's hand had curled into a fist. I stepped closer to him, taking his hand and gently uncurled his fingers, my eyes on Lauren.

"I didn't know you were friends," I said in the sweetest voice possible. I don't think I'd ever used it in my life. "But then you must know how much he hates being called Eddie."

Lauren hesitated. Then the smile was back. "Oh, I didn't know that! He never said anything. Why didn't you say anything, _Edward_?"

I squeezed Edward's hand to let him know I would handle her. He squeezed me back, still staring at Lauren.

"Edward is too much of a gentleman to say something like that to someone he barely knows." Lauren opened her mouth to say something but I'd had enough of this charade. "He's also too much of a gentleman to tell you to fuck off," I said calmly.

Lauren's eyes widened in shock but she got over it quickly, not bothering with her fake smile anymore. "How dare you, you little -"

"No, Lauren. I'm doing the talking now." It was getting harder to keep my voice calm when I wanted to yell at her. Or strangle her. Or scratch her eyes out. Preferably all three. I didn't want to make a scene though so I took a deep breath and went on. "I know you and Edward are not friends. I also heard your rather poor attempt to seduce him." I snorted. "Really? That's all you've got?" I shook my head with a chuckle. "Pathetic. Anyway, I don't have to pretend being polite so now I'm going to tell you what you're going to do."

Her expression turned furious but I didn't give her the chance to speak.

"Starting right now, you're going to leave Edward alone. You won't try talking to him, you won't look him up and you will forget about him. Is that clear?"

She didn't answer but was glaring at me, her face red with fury.

"If you so much as think about him, I will hear about it and trust me, you don't want to see me angry. Got it?"

She looked at me defiantly like she was about to dare me to prove my words. Then, suddenly, she froze like she'd seen something in my face that stopped her. She took a step back, then another and finally she turned on the spot and stormed out of the kitchen without a word. I watched her retrieving back with satisfaction before turning to Edward.

He was staring at me with a strange expression and his eyes were darker than earlier tonight. I knew he had gone hunting last night so he wasn't thirsty.

That left the other reason for the change of his eye color.

Oops.

Suddenly, he tugged at my hand, setting off toward the door. "Let's go dancing," he said, his voice strained.

"What? You know I don't dance!" I tried to protest but he ignored me, dragging me into the living room and right into the middle of the makeshift dance floor.

I had barely time to look around before he wrapped his arms around me and suddenly he was kissing me, nearly knocking the breath out of me. And it wasn't a chaste kiss either. His cold tongue slid into my mouth without hesitation and I had to remind myself that we are surrounded by people so I wouldn't react like I'd done the last and only time we'd kissed like that.

We kissed for at least five minutes or maybe more, I didn't really keep track of time. I didn't hear the music anymore, nor the people around us. All I was aware of was Edward's taste and smell and the low noises that came out of the back of his throat. When we finally pulled away, Edward rested his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. "I love you," he whispered and I smiled, closing my eyes too.

Alice had been right. I definitely enjoyed this part of the party.


	18. An Uninvited Visitor

**Chapter eighteen**

I woke up the next morning with my head on Edward's chest, aware of his fingers tracing slow, lazy circles against my hips. I smiled, keeping my eyes closed, and my thoughts went back to last night.

I still couldn't believe Edward had kissed me like that in front of everyone. Later he'd admitted that he'd wanted to take me to his room but was afraid of losing control if we were alone. That was how much he'd liked what I'd said to Lauren.

I chuckled, remembering how she'd stormed out of the house moments after Edward had kissed me.

"What's so funny?" Edward asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Just thinking about last night," I murmured and finally opened my eyes, looking up at his face. He dropped a small kiss on the tip of my nose, smiling gently.

"Yes, last night was very interesting," he said with a low chuckle. "Just when I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore…" he trailed off.

"I just hope Lauren leaves you alone," I said, frowning.

"She will. She thinks we're both crazy and perfect for each other. She'll try her charms on Crowley again."

I laughed. "Good."

We were quiet for a while and I almost fell back to sleep when I heard Edward sigh. "What?" I mumbled into his t-shirt.

"You got a text message about an hour ago."

I lifted my head. "Did you read it?"

He frowned. "Of course not. I wouldn't invade your privacy."

I smiled, kissing his jaw. "You can, you know? I have nothing to hide from you."

"That's good to know."

Edward leaned over me to grab my phone and handed it to me. "It's from Charlie," I muttered and opened the text, reading it with Edward peering over my shoulder.

 _The Blacks want to come to see you this afternoon. Tell Edward to drive you here. Dad_

I sighed. "What do they want?"

"Maybe they just want to see you…"

"But you don't think it's just that, do you?"

"No." I waited for him to elaborate but it took almost a minute before he went on. "Jacob must have transformed by now."

"So he knows about you," I said, sitting up. I turned to face Edward who still lay with one arm behind his head. "You think he wants to warn me, just like Billy did once?"

"Probably." His face turned hard suddenly. "But you won't move from my side."

I narrowed my eyes at him, not liking his commanding tone. "Why?"

He sighed but his features softened. "Because he's a young shapeshifter and therefore very unstable and dangerous." He took my hand, kissing my knuckles. "I will not risk your safety."

"Oh," I said, remembering Charlie telling me about Sam Uley's girlfriend and the scars on her face. "Okay." Then I quickly typed a reply to Charlie.

 _Okay. We'll bring lunch._

"Thank you," Edward said with a relieved smile. "I thought you'd be arguing with me."

I grinned. "Did I surprise you again?"

He laughed, sitting up as well, and kissed me on my lips quickly. "You always do."

Three hours later Edward pulled over in front of Charlie's house. It felt strange being in his car again and the journey seemed too long to me now that I'd gotten used to the Floo Network. Not that I minded too much though, not when I'd spent the time in Edward's company.

Billy and Jacob weren't here yet and I sighed in relief. Grabbing the bag with last night's dinner leftovers that Esme had packed for Charlie, I got out of the car before Edward made it to my door – he had to use human speed because of a passing car. He shook his head disapprovingly and shut the passenger door behind me. I knew good manners were ingraned too deeply in him and he always got frustrated when I didn't let him open a door for me. I found it endearing.

"Sorry," I muttered and took his hand, setting off toward the front door. Edward just sighed but at least he got to open the front door for me which he did with an exaggerated bow. I laughed, shaking my head at his behavior.

We found Charlie in the living room, watching a sport channel on the TV. "Finally," he said, patting his stomach and his eyes immediately slid to the bag in my hand. "I'm starving."

I rolled my eyes, heading for the kitchen. "I really don't know how you survived without me all these years, Dad," I called over my shoulder.

"The Diner and pizza," he replied, unashamed.

After I heated up the two plates of pasta for me and Charlie, we sat down at the table. Charlie asked about the party and I felt my cheeks heating up as Edward described my confrontation with Lauren to him. Thankfully, he didn't tell him my exact words – Charlie didn't like hearing me curse.

We were chatting idly about the upcoming Christmas when Edward's head snapped toward the window. "He's coming," he said, his jaw tensing.

"He?" I asked, confused.

"Jacob. He's alone."

"Where's Billy?" asked Charlie, looking just as confused as I felt.

"I don't know. He's not thinking about him right now." Edward turned to me, clasping my hand. "We were right. He wants to warn you about me."

I let out a long breath, biting my lips. "What are we going to do?"

"I'll talk to him first," said Charlie resolutely, standing up.

"He wants to talk to Bella," Edward said with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Maybe I should – " was as far as I got before the two of them shot me a glare.

"No," Charlie and Edward said at the same time.

"Me being here is going to make things worse," Edward admitted, "but I can't let you deal with him unprotected, Bella."

"I can take care of myself, you know," I muttered just as I heard a car pull over outside.

"You promised," Edward said through gritted teeth and I sighed. He was right, I had promised.

The bell rang then and Charlie straightened his shoulders and, taking a deep breath, walked out into the hall. I and Edward were quiet, listening.

"Jake," I heard Charlie greet Jacob, like nothing was amiss. "Where's Billy?"

"Hey, Charlie." Jacob sounded different than I remembered. His voice was deeper and something was off in his tone. "He wasn't feeling well. But he says hi." There was a short silence. "Whose car is that?"

"Edward's. He drove Bella here."

Silence again. I sighed in frustration, glancing up at Edward. His eyes were glued to the kitchen doorway but his face wore the unreadable mask I hated.

"Cullen?" I heard Jacob growl. "He's here?"

"Of course." Charlie's reply sounded wary this time.

"I want to talk to her." Pause. "Alone."

Edward's grip around my hand tightened and it almost hurt. A hiss slipped from my lips and he glanced first at me, than at our joined hands. "Sorry," he murmured, loosening his grip. I smiled at him in relief but nearly missed Charlie's next words.

"Sure, you can talk to her. But not alone."

Right then Edward rose from his chair, pulling me up with him, and led me out of the kitchen and into the hall, keeping me behind him the whole time.

Jake's appearance shocked me. He'd growned up since the last time I'd seen him so he was now an inch or two taller than even Edward. His hair was cropped short and even through his long-sleeved shirt – he wasn't wearing a jacket – I could distinguish muscles that hadn't been there before. He looked about ten years older than he really was. What surprised me most though was his face. Gone was the boyish smile I remembered from my birthday or the scared, uncertain look from the last time I'd spoken to him. His features were hard and his eyes were glaring murderously at Edward.

"Hi, Jake," I said, trying to keep my voice light despite being aware of everyone's almost palpable tension. "Jesus, what do they feed you in the rez? You're huge!"

Nobody smiled. I noticed Jake's hands were curled in fists and Edward pulled me even closer to his side, shifting slightly so I was mostly behind him.

I sighed. "I heard you wanted to talk to me," I said when nobody spoke.

"Yes. Alone," Jacob said quietly and his voice was so cold that it sent shivers down my spine.

Charlie opened his mouth, probably to argue with Jacob, but I was faster. "Fine," I said, turning to Edward and Charlie. "We're going to be here on the porch."

"No, Bella," Edward growled, his fingers digging into my side. I was sure I'd have bruises.

I stood up on my tiptoes and whispered in Edward's ear, "I'll be okay, I promise." Kissing his cheek, I quickly slipped out of his protective hold and stepped out on the porch, closing the door behind me before either Edward or Charlie could react. Taking a deep breath I turned to face Jacob who had taken a few steps back so now he was standing on the top step.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked, crossing my arms to keep myself warm.

Jacob's eyes ran up and down my body like he was making sure it was really me. He was quiet for a full minute and I noticed his hands were trembling slightly. At last he closed his eyes, inhaled through his nose and when he opened them again, he look a little calmer.

"I see you're still with _him_ ," he said and it was a relief that his voice sounded a little warmer than before.

"His name is Edward and yes, we're still together." I tried to sound nonchalant but wasn't sure I succeeded. My voice was a little higher than usual.

"I thought you had ended it when you left."

"Well, we decided to try the long distance relationship. And we're doing great, you know." I smiled but I could feel my heart beating in my chest. I wasn't really afraid of Jake, not now when I could see he was somewhat calmer. But knowing that the two men inside the house were most likely pacing furiously around the hallway didn't really make me feel much better.

Right then, Jacob apparently decided to stop beating around the bush. "You should stay away from him, Bella. And his whole… clan. They're dangerous, they could kill you."

"So now you suddenly believe old legends too? You didn't care last time I saw you."

He leaned forward to me but his feet stayed rooted to the spot. "Things have changed since then."

I pressed my back against the door, my eyes not leaving his face for a second. "Sam's gotten to you too, hasn't he? You're a part of his gang now."

His gaze shifted to the kitchen window and his reply sounded more distant, like he was remembering something. "Not a gang," he whispered hoarsely. "I had it all wrong. Sam's the good guy. I know it now." Suddenly he looked at me with an urgency written on his face. "We protect people from those like _him._ " His chin nodded toward the front door. "It's our job. You will break up with him and go back to your mother. I won't let you be around them."

I pressed my lips into a tight line, reminding myself that I shouldn't snap at him or he would most likely transform right here in front of me. Looking down at my feet, I closed my eyes, counting to ten. When I opened them again and looked back up, I noticed Jacob had stepped one step down the stairs, keeping his distance from me.

"Do you know that Carlisle works at the hospital where he saves people every day?" I started quietly. "Or that Edward saved me from a van that nearly crashed into me in the school parking lot? Or that they all do everything they can to push away their natural instincts every second of every day? They are not like others of their kind. They don't hurt humans."

Jake's eyes narrowed into slits. "So you do know what they are." He shook his head in disgust. "And I hoped that maybe you didn't and that's why you're still with him."

I wanted to roll my eyes but resisted. "Of course I know."

"Was it me? Did I broke the treaty?" He suddenly looked anxious.

"No, it wasn't you, Jake. I'd already known."

"How?"

"It doesn't matter." I shook my head, hoping he would let it go. "Anyway, the Cullens are good people and I…" I took a deep breath, "… I won't stay away from them. Sorry."

Jacob gripped the porch railling tightly, grinding his teeth. He closed his eyes again, taking several breaths to calm down. When he looked at me again, I saw determination in his eyes.

"You will or I'll tell Charlie what they are. I bet he won't be so understanding anymore," he smirked arrogantly.

I wanted to laugh out loud at that but somehow managed to keep my face neutral. At least I hoped.

"You want to risk breaking the treaty for real?" I challenged.

Just then I heard the doorknob turn and barely managed to move from the door before it opened and Charlie appeared next to me. "Everything alright?" he asked gruffly, eyeing first Jacob and then me. He stayed in the doorway, blocking the view into the hallway so I couldn't see where Edward was.

"Yep," I said, turning back to face Jacob again.

Jacob straightened up and looked Charlie right in the eyes. "What do you know about the Cullens, Charlie?" he asked, taking me by surprise.

Charlie stared at him for a while before answering. "Enough to know they're good people," he said at last.

"What if you're wrong? What if they're not what they seem? What if he…" he jerked his head toward the door, "is bad for Bella?"

Again, it took a while before Charlie replied. "Edward cares a great deal about her and she cares about him. My daughter is old enough to make decisions about her life. I will not tell her who to date, Jake."

"You are her father, Charlie! You should care about who your daughter spends her time with. What if he's a… a criminal or a drug addict!" Jacob raised his voice, making me press my back to the wall next to the door.

"Are you doubting my parenting methods, Jacob?"

"What if I am?" Jacob lifted his chin defiantly, his eyes flashing angrily.

"Then I must ask you to leave my house and to not come back until you're ready to apologize. Not just to me but to Bella as well. I will not tolerate this kind of behavior, not even from my friend's son." Charlie didn't shout at Jacob but the authority in his voice reminded me why he was the Chief of Police. He put his hand on my shoulder, steering me inside the house. "Now, come back inside, Bella, it's cold here."

And with that we left Jacob standing on steps to our porch, glaring after us.

As soon as the door was closed, Charlie turned to me, all calmness gone from his face. "What the hell were you thinking, Bella? He could have hurt you!"

"But he didn't," I argued back, glancing at Edward who was leaning against the wall, arms crossed, expression unreadable. "He calmed down after it was just the two of us. He wouldn't have talked to me with the two of you there and he could have transformed any time if Edward tried to protect me." I closed the gap between me and Edward and he automatically reached for my hand, though his expression didn't change. "You know I'm right, don't you, Edward?"

He stared at me for a few seconds and then turned his head to the window next to the front door. I could hear the car door slam shut and then tires squeeking as Jacob drove away.

"Bella's right, Charlie," Edward said in a low voice. Then he went on, still looking out the window. "He was close to snapping before she went talk to him."

Charlie glared at me for a few more seconds before he sighed. "Alright. But I'm going to have a word with Billy about Jake's behavior."

"I doubt it'll help, Dad. Billy tried to warn us before, remember?"

"I'll try to talk to him anyway," Charlie said with a sigh, rubbing his face tiredly. "If it doesn't help… well I guess I'll be one friend short."

"I'm sorry, Charlie," said Edward, "I hate causing any kind of argument between you and your friends."

"You keep Bella safe. That's more important," he said with a shrug and shuffled to the living room.

Still holding my hand, Edward led me back to the kitchen. He was quiet and once we sat down in the kitchen chairs, I couldn't stand it anymore.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, my eyes on our joined hands.

I heard him sigh and his finger appeared under my chin, making me look at him. "I'm not angry with you, Bella," he said, the corners of his mouth twitching at my surprised expression.

"You're not?" He shook his head. "But… but I broke my promise. And you look angry."

"I am angry. At Jacob for putting you in this situation. At myself for doing the same. But not at you. You did the only logical thing you could have done and I can't blame you."

I stood up from my seat and sat down on his lap, his arms immediately wrapping around me. "Does Jake know that I know what he is?" I asked, slowly tracing my fingertips across his face.

"He wasn't sure. He got suspicious when we didn't want to let you be alone with him but then you didn't say anything about it and he was determined to convince you to break up with me."

I sighed. "Does he really think you're that dangerous? Because that's quite hypocritical of him."

Edward's eyebrows creased slightly. "He doesn't see it that way. His people see us as their enemy and it doesn't matter to them than we try not to hurt humans. They really think of themselves as protectors." His frown deepened. "And there is another reason for Jacob to insist on you breaking up with me." I noticed his jaw tightening a bit and it wasn't that hard to guess what reason it might have been.

"He still thinks he's in love with me?"

"Yes," Edward said with a sigh. "He was torn between wanting you to stay close to him or wanting you to leave as soon as possible so you'd be away from me. He actually wants to talk to Charlie again after you're supposed to leave."

"I hate lying to him," I mumbled, frowning.

"The truth wouldn't help anything, Bella. It would only make things worse if he knew you'd been here the whole time."

"I know but I still don't like it." I'd always hated having to keep the most important things about me secret. At least I'd never had any close friends before I started Hogwarts and, except for my parents, I had no other family to keep my secret from.

Edward pulled me closer to his chest, kissing the side of my head. "Let's not worry about Jacob Black now. We should focus on enjoying our first Christmas together."

The thought made me smile and I kissed him, determinted to forget all about Jacob Black for as long as possible.

 **A/N: The Christmas chapter next time! And if some of you decide to leave a review, I'd be a very happy person :) Really, I'd love to know what you think about this story. Thank you.**


	19. Christmas

**Chapter nineteen**

Most of the Christmas holidays of my life had been pretty modest. I'd usually spent it just with my mom or my dad, since they were taking turns in having me during the holidays. Just once I'd stayed at Hogwarts for the Yule Ball and two years ago I stayed with the Weasleys to give Ginny support when her dad had been attacked. I knew this Christmas would be different from what I'd been used to and I couldn't wait.

As I found out, the Cullens usually exchanged gifts right after midnight, not waiting for the Christmas morning. This year though it would be a little different. I and Charlie were invited for dinner on Christmas Eve and we would be exchanging gifts right after. I would then stay the night and even though Esme had told Charlie he could stay too, he refused.

Two more guests were expected to show up for dinner. Toby and Sarah. Toby's mother's condition wasn't getting much better, the poisoning was worse that they'd thought, and she might never fully recover. She was still in hospital so it didn't surprise me that Esme had invited Toby and Sarah to spend Christmas Eve with us so they wouldn't be alone.

So on December 24th I and Esme spent the whole day in the kitchen at the Cullens, trying to make an edible dinner. The smell of food effectivelly ensured that no one else would come anywhere near the kitchen.

"You are a very brave woman, Esme," I said with a grin while I was standing over a turkey we'd bought yesterday.

"I enjoy cooking. If the smell gets to be too much, I just stop breathing for a while," she said with a shrug.

Even though we'd gotten quite good at cooking during the last few months, we'd never made such a big meal. I had helped Renee the previous years but this was different. Before, she'd always been there and I'd never been the one making the whole thing. Fortunatelly, she'd offered her help when I called her a few days ago, saying that if we needed her advise, she'd be ready on the phone.

In the end, we didn't really need her help but I still called her, just to talk to her. She was in an unusually bad mood, saying they were on the way to Phil's parents and complaining about his mother for most of the time we talked.

Around noon, we decided to take a break so I could have lunch. I made just a few toasts for myself, knowing that the dinner would be big, and sat down at the table.

"What was the best present you've ever gotten, Esme?" I asked while chewing on the toast.

"Oh, that would be the island Carlisle gave me for our fiftieth anniversary," she said, a dreamy look on her face.

I nearly choked on my toast. " _An island_?"

She laughed, patting my hand gently. "Just a small one, but it's a beautiful and private place."

"But an island, Esme? That must have cost a fortune." I couldn't believe it. It just seemed too much.

Esme chuckled. "Bella, it's not that unusual. There are quite a few rich people that own an island."

Ugh. She was probably right. Still, I couldn't wrap my head around it. To have such amount of money seemed incomprehensible to me. What if Edward wanted to give something like that to me? Would I manage to be grateful, knowing how much money he spent on me?

My discomfort must have shown on my face because Esme let out a sigh and moved closer to me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Listen, Bella. I understand that it must seem incredible to you but one of the things you'll learn when you're one of us is that money is not a problem. Carlisle has been working as a doctor for three centuries, Edward inherited money from his parents and of course we have Alice for the stock market investments. We donate to charities on regular basis and still have more than enough to spend it on things we enjoy." Then she smiled. "And even though Carlisle bought Isle Esme for me, we all go there from time to time to have some much needed privacy. Usually in couples. I'm sure Edward has plans to take you there at some point too."

I had to admit that the idea of being alone with Edward on a private island was very tempting. I thought about everything Esme had said. I knew she was right and I had been overreacting but I just wasn't used to it.

When I didn't say anything, her smile faded a little and she took my hand, looking in my eyes. "Edward is a very generous person. It's in his nature. Please, Bella, let him spoil you a little. I know it would make him happy."

"But I have nothing to give him in return."

I heard an exasperated sigh from behind me. I turned around and saw Edward leaning against the doorway with crossed arms. From the corner of my eye I saw Esme stand up and go check on the turkey in the oven. Edward closed the gap between us and sat down in the chair Esme had just vacated.

He sat there, resting his elbows on his knees, staring at the floor with a frown. Then he looked up, taking my hands in his.

"Bella, we had this conversation once before, remember? I gave you the phone and you got upset."

I nodded. I did remember the moment very well. "You said you were the one in debt. But you never told me why."

"It was still too soon." His eyes slid to our joined hands. "Back then I still wasn't sure about your feelings. I knew you cared but I thought that was it. But still… you gave me hope, however small, that you might choose me after all. That alone was more than anything I could have hoped for." He looked up into my eyes. "Now that I know you actually love me and are willing to become one of us just for me… Not to mention what you've done for my family… You've brought your world to us - magic, new friends, we don't have to hide from everyone…" He shook his head, a small smile appearing on his face. "You already gave me too much, Bella. No matter what I might buy for you, it'll never feel like it's enough."

I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly dry. I didn't know what to say to that. I'd never realized that what I'd taken as something normal and unimportant, meant something else to him. "I… I guess I see your point," I muttered.

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I mean… money doesn't mean much when you don't have anyone to enjoy it with, right?"

He nodded. "I know there are people who would give anything to be rich but… before I met you, I'd rather have had no money at all than live this existence alone. Then you turned up and gave me everything." His lips spread into a smile again. "So, please, Bella, allow me to try to pay you back from time to time."

I sighed. "Okay, I'll try." Then I frowned. "No islands, though."

Edward laughed, throwing his head back. "I promise I'll wait for at least a few decades to even think about it." I rolled my eyes at him and he grinned, leaning in to kiss me. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get some fresh air." He wrinkled his nose.

"You know, if I didn't know better, I'd be offended."

He laughed again, dropping a kiss on my forehead and quickly walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

Charlie arrived a few minutes after four and Toby and Sarah about fifteen minutes later. Toby brought a bouquet of flowers for Esme and little Sarah, who was too impatient to wait for after dinner, gave us all pictures of each member of the family, including me and Charlie. She had drawn them in a magical ink that caused the drawings move. For a five-year-old she was very talented and we all promised to have them framed and hang them in our rooms.

The dinner was really good and I was glad that there were four of us eating. It had always made me feel self-conscious when I ate alone in front of the Cullens. After dinner, Esme served the four of us a slice of pecan pie we'd made in the afternoon.

Once we finished, we all moved to the living room. Under the lit Christmas tree there was a huge pile of boxes of all shapes and sizes. It was impossible to stop Sarah from running right to the tree with a high pitched squeal. I wondered if she still believed in Santa Claus so I asked Toby in whisper.

"Well, yes, only she doesn't believe the whole Santa climbing through the chimney thing. He just sends them under the tree magically." He smirked. We all looked at Sarah, who was now enthusiastically opening all the boxes that had her name on them, not paying us any attention. Rosalie was helping her to avoid accidental papercuts.

"It does make more sense," I admitted which made Charlie laugh. "What?"

"Too bad I didn't think of that when you were just a little older than her and kept asking me how could a fat old man climb through a chimney without getting stuck in it."

Everyone laughed and I felt my cheeks heat up. "What? It was a legitimate question," I said with a huff.

"What did you tell her?" Edward asked Charlie with a chuckle.

"He said that Santa just threw the packages down the chimney because he had to visit like a billion other households in one night." I said quickly and stuck out my tongue at Charlie. Now it was his turn to blush as everyone laughed.

The rest of us then started opening the packages as well. I and Edward had already decided to exchange gifts later in the privacy of Edward's room and I knew that the other couples had similar plans. There was still a lot of presents left under the tree though.

Alice let out a squeal nearly as loud as Sarah's when she opened the gift from me, even though she'd known what it was since the minute I'd thought of buying it for her. She held out a small bottle full of colourless liquid and beamed at me with happiness. "Thank you, Bella!"

"What is it?" Jasper asked curiously. Charlie had finally taken pity on him and didn't protest too much against Jasper being in the same room as me. Still, Jasper had fed even more than usual last night and now was sitting as far from me and Sarah as possible, just in case.

"Um, it makes the hair grow," I said with a smile. "It only lasts for 24 hours though."

"I don't care! I can always buy more!" Alice threw her arms around me, nearly knocking me to the floor.

The others were excited too as they opened their gifts from me. Esme looked happy when she unwrapped the sketchbook and a set of always sharp pencils that went with it. Rosalie beamed at me as she held a bottle of magical nail polish that changed colours according to the person's mood.

"What is that?" asked Emmett curiously, peering into a dark box he'd just opened.

"It's a jokes kit," I said, watching his grin grow. "I just hope I won't regret this," I added, more to myself.

I felt Edward's lips on my temple. "Don't worry, I'll give you a warning if he tries something."

"Thanks," I muttered but Emmett had heard us.

"I love challenges, you know," he said in his booming voice and proceeded to examine the contents of his box.

"These are the most lifelike chess pieces I've ever seen," Carlisle marveled over his new set of chess he'd just pulled out of a box, holding one of the knights in his hand. "Thank you, Bella." He smiled, putting the knight back in the box.

"Maybe you should try playing," I suggested, eager to see his reaction when he saw the full extent of my gift.

"I will," he said but put the set aside.

"Um… maybe you could try now?"

The others laughed at my impatience, only Alice and Toby smirked. Edward was now staring at Alice with a frown; it looked like she was hiding her thoughts from him.

Carlisle raised an eyebrow but right then Jasper put aside the book about magical history he'd just opened and stood up. "I'll play with you," he said, walking to Carlisle.

"Alright then," said Carlisle with a shrug and set up the chessboard.

We all gathered around them to watch. Just as Carlisle, who had the white pieces, reached for one of his pawns to make the first move, the pawn turned to him and shouted, "Don't touch me, you savage!" Carlisle's hand froze and he looked at the offensive pawn with a shock.

I clapped my hand over my mouth to stop the giggles that threatened to escape but some of the others didn't have the same inhibitions. Emmett guffawed loudly and even sweet Esme looked like she had a hard time to keep from laughing at her husband.

"I beg your pardon?" said Carlisle after he got over the shock. Then he turned his head to me, wordlessly asking for explanation.

"Um… you have to – "

"What are you waiting for?" said the pawn suddenly, "just give me orders!"

"Yeah… that," I said as everyone laughed again. "Tell him what move you want to make."

Carlisle just nodded, too entranced to say anything and ordered the pawn to make the first move. The pawn obediently moved two squares forward.

We all watched as the game progressed, even Sarah, who'd apparently never seen wizard's chess before. She put her hands over her eyes as the chessmen started to knock each other out when being taken. It was funny to watch Jasper arguing with his chessmen about his moves. He seemed to like the game just as much as Carlisle did.

After about half an hour the rest of us let them play and we continued opening the remaining presents. As I'd suspected, I got a lot of new clothes from Alice, some books from Esme, including a very detailed cookbook which I loved, and a set of cosmetics from Rosalie. Emmett's gift surprised me: he gave me a new videogame which actually looked quite interesting.

Once all presents were open, we sat down on the sofa and armchairs and talked. The others were curious about Christmas at Hogwarts so I told them all about the only Christmas I'd spent there and of course the Yule Ball. When Alice wanted a detailed description of the dress I'd worn to the ball, I just stood up and went to Edward's room to get the photograph of me at the ball I had hidden in my trunk.

Toby and Sarah left at about nine and a few minutes later Charlie stood up as well, grabbing his new fishing rod and gear.

"I'd better go too, it's getting late," he said and I stood up too, ready to see him out. He said goodbye to the Cullens and the two of us headed for the hallway. He was putting on his jacket when he paused, looking uncertain.

"What?" I asked, leaning against the wall.

"Um… Sue called today," he said hesitantly, putting his hand on the doorknob. I waited for him to go on. He glanced toward the living room but then straightened his shoulders and said, "She invited us for dinner the day after tomorrow. She wants to meet you."

I tilted my head, trying to supress a grin. "Is there something going on between you and Sue, Dad?"

"Of course not!" He looked offended by the suggestion but at the same time I noticed his face going red. "She's still grieving for Harry, it's only been two months since he died. We're friends, that's all."

"Yeah but… you know I wouldn't mind if you found someone, right?" He'd been alone for as long as I could remember and I wished he'd finally got over my mother.

Charlie nodded. "So, what do you think? Would you like to go? Wouldn't Edward mind?"

I rolled my eyes. "Edward doesn't make decisions for me, Dad. I'll think about it."

"If you worry about Jacob then I'll make sure he won't be there."

"I can handle Jake. But it would make it easier if I didn't have to," I admitted and then I thought of something else. "Does Sue know about shapeshifters or vampires?"

He shrugged. "I don't think so. She knows some of the legends and she didn't trust Carlisle as a doctor but I think she changed her mind after he tried saving Harry's life." He shrugged again.

"Okay. I'll go with you."

"Thanks, Bells," he said with a relieved smile and hugged me before walking out into the night.

* * *

Edward was suspiciously quiet after Charlie had left. I knew he had heard me and Charlie talking and it must have bothered him but so far he hadn't brought it up. I was sure he most likely waited until we were alone in his room. So once we were sitting on his bed, I put the still wrapped package I had for him on the bedside table and turned to face him.

"You don't want me to go to La Push," I said, deciding to get it over with sooner rather than later.

I noticed his jaw clench but other than that he appeared calm. "It doesn't matter what I want. I don't make decisions for you," he said in a calm voice but I got the impression that it was with a great effort.

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "Of course what you want matters, Edward," I said slowly, forcing myself to stay calm. "I always want to know what you want or what you think."

"Do you?" he asked and suddenly the calmness was gone. He narrowed his eyes at me, his lips pressed into a line. "You know very well how much I hate when you put yourself in danger, Bella," he hissed, his face now inches from mine.

I didn't flinch. I knew he would never hurt me.

"I seriously doubt I'll be in any danger in La Push. You heard Charlie. He'll make sure Jake won't be there and if it makes you feel better, I promise not to move from his side."

"I remember you making the same promise once, only to break it a few hours later."

I closed my eyes tightly for a few seconds. When I opened them again, Edward was still staring at me with narrowed eyes.

"And I remember you saying it was the only logical thing I could have done," I snapped but then shook my head. "Look, Edward. I don't want to fight with you, especially not tonight. But…" I hesitated, thinking of how to make him see my point, "… you can't protect me from everything. I managed to survive seventeen years without you, I'm sure I'll by fine for a few hours." He opened his mouth but I hurriedly went on. "And I'm pretty sure Jacob will not try anything, even if he turned up. He wouldn't want to break the treaty."

Edward stared at me for about a minute and I was wondering what was going on inside his head. Then he lowered his eyes and mumbled softly, "I'm sorry."

I lifted my hand and cupped his cheek, making him look at me. "Thank you," I whispered, gently kissing his lips. Then I turned around and took the package I had for him from the bedside table. "Now, can I give you my present?"

He raised his eyebrows, now focusing on the package in my hands. I suddenly felt self-conscious. What if he didn't like it? Suddenly I started doubting my idea of a gift. I looked away, frowning, feeling the heat in my cheeks.

"Bella?" Edward's voice sounded uncertain and he turned my head gently with his finger so I'd face him. "What's wrong?"

"Um… nothing. It's stupid," I said, nodding toward the gift. "I really didn't know what to get you and then Alice said something and I thought it was a good idea but now I'm not so sure and… if you don't like it, it's fine – "

Suddenly his mouth was on mine. "Shut up, will you?" he mumbled against my lips and we both laughed. I felt his hand tugging at the package until I let go. Then he gave me one more kiss and turned his head to look at what I'd gotten for him.

Biting my lower lip, I watched as he slowly unwrapped the paper and now stared at the leather bound journal in his lap. There was a new fountain pen attached to the journal with a thin string. As soon as I'd seen the pen in the shop in Western Square, I knew I had to buy it for Edward. I'd already had the journal and this seemed to go perfectly with it. It was bewitched that the ink would never run out so he could use it for however long he wanted.

Now though, he still stared at it without a word which didn't do anything to dispel my doubts.

"You don't like it," I muttered, trying to pull the journal away from Edward's lap.

His fingers wrapped gently around my wrist, stopping me. I looked up at him. He watched me with an amused expression but then his eyes slid back to the journal. "How did you come up with this idea?" he asked.

I cleared my throat before answering. "Well, Alice mentioned that you used to keep journals, so I thought that maybe you'd like to pick it up again," I said with a shrug.

Edward frowned slightly, tracing his forefinger across the leather cover of the journal. "I finished the last one shortly before I met you and haven't gotten the time to start a new one," he said, still caressing the cover.

"Well, now you can start again and you can write about us," I suggested sheepishly.

He smiled. "That's a great idea," he said, leaning toward me to kiss me. "I love it. Thank you, Bella."

I breathed out in relief. Edward put the journal aside and leaned over me to open the drawer in the bedside table. He moved fast so I didn't see what he'd taken but the next second there was a small square package wrapped neatly in golden paper sitting on my lap.

I looked up at Edward and noticed he looked a little nervous. Frowning, I turned back to the gift and carefully unwrapped the paper. Now I was staring at a black velvet box, the kind that was usually used for jewellery. I could feel Edward's eyes on my face as I slowly opened the lid.

I gasped.

There, on the velvet cushion, sat a heart-shaped stone that looked suspiciously like a diamond. It was attached to a thin silver chain.

"Is that... a diamond?" I asked quietly, dreading the answer. My eyes were still locked on the necklace.

There was a moment of silence and it made me raise my eyes. Edward had a determined look on his face.

"Well, I could lie and say it's just a crystal but you deserve better than that," he said.

"But... you said you didn't spend anything," I said accusingly.

"I didn't lie. It was my mother's."

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say to that. My eyes slipped back to the diamond heart. I traced the surface with my finger – it was cold and hard. "It's beautiful, thank you," I murmured, looking back at Edward. "Help me put it on?"

His smile was almost blinding.

 **A/N: I probably won't have time to post another chapter before the end of the year so I just wanted to wish you all Happy Holidays and thank you for staying with me. Oh, and thank you all who reviewed the last chapter. Reviews always make me happy :)**


	20. Messages

**Chapter twenty**

Later, when I was snuggled against Edward's chest in his bed, a thought crossed my mind. I was still tracing the diamond, now settled against my chest.

"Edward?"

"Mmm?" He sounded like he was deep in thought but when I lifted my head to look at him, he was smiling down at me. "Do you think... do you think that she would have liked me? Your mom, I mean."

"She would have loved you. I'm sure of it." He kissed my nose, still smiling.

"What was she like?" I asked, snuggling even closer to him. I remembered him telling me about his human life and that he didn't remember much of it, but I still hoped for at least a few more details.

Edward was quiet for a minute but just as I was about to lift my head to look at him, he spoke.

"She was... beautiful. We had the same hair and eye color. I remember the sound of her laughter the best..." he trailed off and when I looked up at him, I saw he was staring ahead, his eyes unfocused. "She... liked to bake, I remember she smelled of cookies..." Then he closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I can't remember anything else," he finished with a sigh and opened his eyes again. He smiled sadly at me and I immediately felt bad for making him sad.

I cupped his cheek and kissed him. Then I frowned, remembering something he'd said. "What was your eye color?" I'd never thought of asking before.

"Green."

I tried to imagine Edward with green eyes and sighed. "I wish I could see that." An idea crossed my mind then. "Do you have pictures of you as a human?"

Edward nodded slowly. "There are a few. But they're all in black and white."

"Oh… of course," I mumbled, mentally cursing my stupidity.

"But I have a painting of me and my parents when I was sixteen," he added, making my eyes snap to him.

"Really?"

He nodded again. "I keep things like that in the attic. It would look weird in this room, according to Esme and Alice, not to mention what it would look like if I ever had a human visitor in here."

I laughed. "Can I see it?"

"Sure."

He stood up in a flash, making me blink in surprise. He smiled apologetically, offering me his hand to help me to my feet. Then he led me out of his room and up another flight of stairs. We stopped under a trapdoor which I eyed curiously. Edward pushed a button on the wall and the trapdoor opened and a wooden, sturdy looking ladder slid down.

I looked up. The room was lit but I could see nothing but wooden ceiling and walls.

"Ladies first," Edward said, waving for me to climb up. I looked at him uncertainly and he laughed. "Don't worry, nothing will attack you, I promise."

I rolled my eyes at him and started climbing up the ladder. Once I was up, I moved to the side to make room for Edward and looked around.

It was a big room, taking up the whole floor. The ceiling was low, but it was still high enough for me to not having to stoop. The walls and the floor were made of light wood and there was a lot of old furniture, paintings, and a few statues. A lot of boxes and even some chests took up a quarter of the room, but they were all neatly organized, not scattered around like they would be in any other attic. All the things looked to be in a very good shape, there were no cobwebs or even dust in here. It reminded me more of a gallery than an attic.

Edward appeared behind me, taking my hand. He led me to the back of the room. I could see it already. There, on the back wall, about six feet tall painting was hanged, framed in a thick golden frame. In the middle of it sat a very beautiful woman with bronze hair and on her left stood a tall, strict looking, dark-haired man.

My eyes were drawn to the boy on the right. In the painting, Edward was shorter than his father – it looked like he'd grown between the time the painting was made and the day he was changed. He looked a lot like the Edward I knew but different at the same time. Even though none of them were smiling, he looked more carefree and his beautiful green eyes were lit up with his youthful innocence. His hair was smoothed back, probably with some kind of hair product, but there were still a few strands that were loose. That little detail made me grin.

I leaned forward, trying to find any imperfections on his face. I frowned. Even though in the painting he stood straight and faced ahead, I could see something slightly different about his nose. "Did you have a… crooked nose?"

Edward laughed softly behind me. "I think I broke It when I was little. I don't remember what happened though…"

I turned my head to look at him. He was smiling down at me, but his eyes were… curious. I stood up on my tiptoes, kissing the tip of his now perfectly straight nose. I grinned at his chuckle and turned back to the painting, finally focusing on his eyes.

They were a brilliant shade of green and even though I was sure that the colours of the painting must have been slightly different than the real thing, it was still as close as I would ever get to seeing Edward's human eye colour.

I felt Edward move and when I turned to him, he was holding a small stack of old-looking photographs. I gasped as I saw what was on them. They were obviously the pictures of him as a human he'd told me about earlier.

Edward handed the pictures to me, taking a small step back. I looked at the photographs with fascination. There was a picture of a little boy, no more than one year old and I was surprised to see his hair was sticking in all direction even back then. There were more pictures of Edward as a child up to when he was maybe fifteen years old. His parents were in some of them, his mother more often than his father.

"Thank you for showing me these," I said as I looked up at him. He'd been watching me intently the whole time. He nodded and I gave him back the pictures. He returned them back to the drawer of an old looking dresser that was standing against the wall.

"It's your turn now," Edward said, turning back to me. Seeing my confused expression, he added, "To show me your childhood photographs."

I could feel my face heat up. "That's not a good idea," I mumbled, knowing there were some pictures I'd rather Edward never saw. Like the ones from the short time I'd been forced to wear braces when I was about seven.

"That's alright," he said with a shrug. "I can always ask Charlie. I'm sure he'll be happy to show me."

I glared at him, knowing he was right.

* * *

"Why are you smirking at me, Emmett?"

I put the fork with a stripe of bacon in my mouth, narrowing my eyes at the huge vampire, who was leaning against the fridge in the Cullen's kitchen, the aforementioned smirk still firmly on his face.

"Did you have a good night, Bella?" he said, waggling his eyebrows at me and ignoring my question.

I frowned at him just as Edward entered the kitchen, throwing a glare at Emmett. He walked over to me, kissing the top of my head. "Ignore him."

Edward's words only made me more suspicious. "What's going on?"

"Did you know you talk in your sleep?" said Emmett with an evil grin. Right then, Edward flashed to him, trying to push him out of the kitchen. Emmett didn't move an inch.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to supress the blush that had started creeping into my cheeks. "What did I say?"

"Nothing, sweetheart," said Edward with a forced smile. "Are you finished? I thought we could – "

"It was a very interesting – " Emmett had jumped in but didn't get very far because Edward clamped his palm to Emmett's mouth.

"Edward! Emmett!" Esme's voice called from the doorway and they both jumped from each other, looking like schoolboys caught fighting. I had to laugh at their suddenly innocent expressions. "No fighting inside," Esme added sternly.

Before I could inquire more about my sleep talking, something happened. The golden Galleon I had been carrying in my jeans all the time, started to burn. I jumped up, taking it out of the pocket, and held it out before me. The whole room had become quiet as I read the words shining brightly on the bottom of the coin.

 _3 long taps, pswrd: Moony_

I opened my mouth but at the same time Alice appeared in front of me with my radio in her hand. She placed in on the table and I pulled out my wand, tapping the radio three times with it. I was only vaguely aware of Edward now standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders.

 _"Good evening our dear listeners,"_ said the familiar voice of Lee Jordan from the tiny speakers. _"I apologise for disturbing your Christmas dinner, but we'd had to deal with some complications that involved a lot of Snatchers and burning of our former safe place."_ I gasped. " _But no worries, my dear listeners. A little bonfire can't stop us from giving you the truth."_

"I like this guy," said Emmett, clearly amused, but he shut up after seeing my glare.

 _"Tonight, it's only Royal here with me. Our second correspondent, Romulus, is hopefully enjoying Christmas dinner with his family. We won't disturb your family dinners for long, but we do have a few bits of information we thought you'd want to know. So as usual, I welcome here our correspondent, Royal. Hello, Royal."_

 _"Good evening, River,"_ said the deep voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt.

 _"We start with what happened last Saturday on the train from Hogwarts to London. A student has been taken from the train by Death Eaters. Can you tell us more about it, Royal?"_

I held my breath, dreading the next words.

 _"Yes, River. The student that was taken was the daughter of Xenophilius Lovegood, Luna."_ I closed my eyes tightly, burying my head in my hands. It was only thanks to Edward's fingers that were soothingly massaging my shoulders that I didn't break down completely.

With my head still in my hands, I listened to Kingsley's words.

 _"The students that witnessed the kidnapping said that the train had stopped suddenly somewhere in the middle of woods and a pair of masked men barged into each carriage. When they found her, some of the other students tried to stop them but they were knocked out. Luna was hit by a stunning spell and they took her out and disapparated."_

 _"Do you think they took her to make Xeno stop writing his praising articles about Harry Potter?"_ asked Lee.

 _"Yes. We'd thought something like that would happen, if he hadn't stopped supporting Harry that openly. It was bound to happen, and he'd been warned about this danger."_

 _"But he didn't listen."_

 _"No. Apparently he thought he could protect her at home and that was probably why they took her from the train."_

 _"What do you think they're going to do with her?"_ I could hear an uncertainty in Lee's voice and tried to concentrate even more on Edward's fingers on my shoulders.

 _"I don't think they want to kill her. They need her so they could threaten Xenophilius and they need her alive. They will probably hold her somewhere and blackmail her father to do what they want."_

 _"Well, let's hope she's okay,"_ said Lee in a heavy voice. " _Anyway, we have some more news for you, dear listeners. You have a few very reliable contacts at the Ministry, Royal. And I heard there were some interesting rumours."_

 _"Yes. As you all might remember, Dolores Umbridge, the Head of the Muggle-Born Registration Commission, made an announcement back in September about having the means of tracking down all the Muggle-borns that are hiding abroad."_

 _"Oh, yeah,"_ said Lee darkly. _"That caused quite a panic amongst those that have friends or family members that had managed to escape the country."_

I gulped. I'd never even thought about what my friends in Britain had thought about this. The Weasleys must have been worried about me. I frowned. I should have let Ginny know I was okay. But then… she'd never asked. Apart from the birthday message, I hadn't heard a word from her.

Kingsley went on. _"For a long time, we didn't know what Umbridge had done. Until about two weeks ago, when she was overheard arguing with Corban Yaxley, the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement._ " There was a long pause. _"Apparently, Umbridge had found a vampire with the Gift of tracking people. According to the witness that heard the argument, the vampire had been sent abroad at the beginning of October and she haven't heard from him since then."_

"Wonder why," said Emmett with a smirk.

Ignoring Emmett, I leaned closer to the radio, wanting to hear what they thought had happened.

 _"What do you think happened, Royal?"_ asked Lee.

 _"Well, there are really only two options. Either the vampire found their targets and decided to betray Umbridge and have them for themselves… or someone or something stopped them."_

 _"There are not that many ways to kill a vampire,"_ Lee pointed out. _"It must have been either another vampire or a very well-trained wizard. Anyway, I wholeheartedly hope that the vampire was stopped and that our friends out there are safe."_

 _"So do I, River, so do I."_

 _"Now, let's move on. As usual, we have a list of people that have gone missing…"_

As Kingsley started to read the list, I looked up from the radio. For the first time I noticed that all the Cullens were here, gathered around the table and listening quietly with me.

"I have to let them know," I blurted out. Everyone's eyes snapped to me.

I quickly thought what options I had. Sending Agnes was out of the question. I would not put her in danger. I'd seen her only a few times since I'd started dating Edward and it was only when he'd gone hunting. I refused to put her under more stress.

That left only one option. My eyes slid down to the Galleon that was lying on the table in front of me. I knew how to send a message to just one person and I needed to be sure that the person would have the coin on them. And since Lee had sent the message about Potterwatch about ten minutes ago, there was a good chance he had the Galleon nearby.

Grabbing my wand, I slid the Galleon closer to me and closed my eyes, trying to think of what to write. The message had to be short but clear. I still felt all eyes on me when I opened my eyes, but I ignored everyone and, having finally made the decision, I took a deep breath and started tapping on the coin with my wand. After a few moments, the message was shining on the bottom of the coin.

 _The vamp's dead. BS_

The Potterwatch was still on and Kingsley was just finishing a list of recently killed people (thankfully there weren't any names I recognized), so I gave the coin one more tap. It shone brightly for a few seconds and then the writing was gone.

 _"… so, with the sad list of recently killed people –"_ Lee started saying but then let out an audible gasp. There were a few seconds of silence and then we heard Lee clear his throat. _"I'm sorry for that but I've just received a very unexpected message. It says that the vampire that was sent to bring back all Muggle-borns that are hiding abroad, is indeed dead. The message doesn't say how the vampire died but I must admit that knowing our friends out there are safe is a huge relief. What do you think about it, Royal?"_

 _"It is, of course, a relief, as you said, River. It also seems that we might have a very powerful ally abroad."_

 _"Yes. I'm sure that all of you, our dear listeners, are dying to know who sent us the message. And even though there wasn't a full name, I think I have an idea who it was."_ I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't say my name. Maybe I should have kept it completely anonymous. Lee went on, " _But, we will not reveal the identity of the sender. I'm sure you all understand our reasons."_

I let out a long, relieved breath.

 _"So, it's time to say good night for now,"_ said Lee, his voice slightly more positive than a few minutes ago. _"Have as good Christmas as possible and keep faith."_

The radio went quiet. I looked around, spotting Carlisle standing next to Esme by the kitchen counter. "Do you think I did the right thing, sending the message?" I asked, uncertainly. I knew it was too late to worry about it now but maybe I should have asked for their opinion. After all, it was them who'd killed James and Victoria.

"I think so," said Carlisle, giving me an assuring smile. "Just imagine how much your friends must have been worried."

"Yeah, that's why I decided to do it," I said, feeling guilty again.

"There's no point in feeling guilty about it, Bella," said Jasper from the doorway.

I looked up at him. "I should have thought of it – "

"Maybe," Jasper interrupted me, "but you can't change that, and you told them now. So, stop feeling guilty, please." A wave of relief and calm washed over me, and I chuckled, rolling my eyes at him.

* * *

A few hours later I was having lunch with Charlie. Edward had driven me to our house in his car, and I could see that he liked being able to drive me around again. He stayed with us while I and Charlie ate, and I told my dad about what we'd heard on Potterwatch.

"I'm sorry about your friend, Bella," said Charlie, putting his hand on mine. "I hope she'll be alright."

I nodded, glancing at Edward who was sitting next to me, his hand resting on my thigh. I knew he noticed I'd been a little withdrawn the last couple hours, but he'd let me be, not pressing me to talk about it. I was incredibly grateful for it even though I knew he was dying to know what had been going on in my mind.

"You know, if anyone has a chance to get out of it relatively unscathed, it's Luna," I said, making both Charlie and Edward raise their eyebrows. "I mean, I've never seen her upset or angry, even when people laughed at her at school. She was sort of an outsider," I explained. "Always believed in things that didn't exist even in our world. But she just took things like they were. And if she didn't like something, she calmly said it right away. She sort of lived in her own world…" I took a deep breath. "So, if they don't want to kill her, like Kingsley said, then I'm sure she'll be okay."

At least, that's what I'd decided I would believe, otherwise I'd go crazy.

A few minutes later, right after I finished telling Charlie about the message I'd sent to Lee Jordan, I felt the familiar burning of the Galleon in my jeans yet again. I gasped, making both Edward and Charlie look at me questioningly. Was it possible that there was another Potterwatch just four hours after the last broadcast? Had something really bad happen that was so important that they wanted us to know right away?

Before I could panic even further and start thinking about Harry Potter being killed or something like that, I pulled the golden coin out of my pocket. As I looked at the Galleon, I let out a breathless chuckle.

 _Did you send the message? FGGW_

I showed it to Edward and Charlie before the letters vanished.

"Who is it from?" asked Edward, taking the coin in his hand, his eyes fixed on the last four letters. Just then the writing shone even more brightly for a few seconds before it was gone. Edward frowned, returning the Galleon to me.

At first, I'd been confused about the initials as well, but it took me only a few seconds to figure it out. "Well, the W means Weasley, so one of the G's is definitely Ginny. And since she's home for Christmas and she's not allowed to do magic outside of school, I believe she got the twins to send it for her. That's Fred and George."

"The two pranksters?" asked Charlie, surprising me. I had told him about some of the less dangerous things the twins did but I was still surprised that he'd remembered them.

"Yep, that's them." I frowned and my eyes slid back to the Galleon, thinking about what my reply should be. At last, I decided to go for simplicity. And I knew how much Ginny hated when I gave her one-word answers.

 _Yes. B_

I sent it to both Fred and George, not knowing whose Galleon they had used.

For a few minutes, the coin lay still and cold on the table. We all were staring at it and I was wondering, if it had been all Ginny and the twins wanted to know. But I should have known better. The Galleon lit up again and new words appeared on the bottom.

 _Who killed the vamp? FGG_

I hesitated and looked up at Edward. "Can I tell them what you are?" He nodded, so I picked up my wand and pointed at the Galleon.

 _I have vamp friends. B_

The second I send it I thought of something and quickly sent another message.

 _They hunt animals. B_

A few more minutes passed. Then a long one appeared.

 _That's badass. Are you safe? FGG_

I shook my head, half amused, half touched by their concern.

 _They keep me safe. You? B_

 _Everyone's fine. No wrds from R. FGG_

Before I could think of a reply, another message lit up the coin.

 _Gotta go. Merry Christmas. FGG_

 _Merry Christmas. B_

I tapped the coin one last time to send the last words and leaned back in the chair with a smile on my face. It was a huge relief to know that the Weasleys are safe and apparently unharmed, but I wondered how long they hadn't heard from Ron. On the other side I was sure that if their brother was dead, they would have known by now. I was sure Death Eaters knew about his friendship with Harry and You-Know-Who would want to boast about killing him.

* * *

For the rest of the day I felt almost giddy with relief. Only the thought of Luna being kept at some terrible place was stopping me from beaming at everyone and everything. To keep my sanity, I tried not to think of her too often.

"You look happy," Edward observed when I climbed in my bed later tonight and pulled me closer to him.

"Well, you make me happy," I said with a shrug, laying my head on his shoulder.

"Let me rephrase then," he said with a low chuckle. "You look relieved."

I frowned and lifted my head to look at him. "Is it that obvious?"

Edward kissed the tip of my nose and smiled. "Yes. I know you worry about your friends, even if you rarely say so. It's natural that you feel happy that you've heard from them."

"I'm worried about Luna though. Too bad Alice can't see her." I hadn't even bothered to ask Alice to look for her, knowing the psychic can't see people she'd never met.

"I thought you were sure she's alright."

I sighed. "I can't be a hundred percent sure, can I? I just try not to think too much about what they can do to her."

He didn't say anything, but his arms tightened around me. Eager to change the topic, I frowned a little, trying to think of something else to talk about. I didn't feel like sleeping yet. Thinking of not being tired made me remember certain conversation from this morning.

"What did I say in my sleep last night?" I asked, watching closely Edward's reaction.

His eyes widened slightly but he quickly composed his features and gave me a blinding smile. "It's been a long day. You must be tired -"

"Shut up and tell me," I cut in, glaring at him.

"I can't do both."

"Smartass," I mumbled, rolling my eyes at him. Edward chuckled, leaning in to kiss me on my lips. After a moment's hesitation he deepened the kiss, making any other thoughts in my mind evaporate. He rolled us over so I was on my back, Edward hovering above me, supporting his weight on his forearms. As usual, my limbs went automatically around his body, my hands dug into his hair and I felt my body flush as I pressed myself as close to him as possible, feeling every muscle of his body through both of our clothes.

As he started to kiss my jaws and slowly made his way down my throat, the haze that had clouded my mind since the moment Edward's lips touched mine lifted slightly and I realized what he was doing. Willing my mind to focus, I took a shivering breath and tapped his shoulder.

"S-stop distracting me," I breathed out, half wishing he wouldn't listen.

"We both know you don't really want me to," he muttered against my skin and then traced his lips back to my mouth. Gathering all the remaining shreds of willpower, I made my head turn just before his lips touched mine.

Edward pulled away and I glanced at him. He was frowning down at me, his lips pursed in a slight pout. Turning my head back to him, I reached out to smooth the lines on his forehead.

"I can tell that what I said was embarrassing and I know I'll be mortified." He nodded slowly. "But do you really want me to find out from Emmett? Because you know he's going to find a way to tell me and I want to be ready for it."

He rolled on his back, pulling me on his chest. "I can hide you somewhere. He won't find you," he muttered stubbornly but then he sighed. "I'm not going to say exactly what you said, but you may be able to guess..."

I stared at him, nodding for him to go on.

"You – you expressed your desire to make love to me in a very unladylike way." He blew out a breath, turning his eyes to the ceiling.

I continued staring at him blankly for a few more seconds before my mind made sense of his words.

"Fuck," I whispered, my eyes wide as saucers. My face felt like it was about to burst in flames.

"Yes, that might have been the word you used," Edward said, and I groaned, burying my head into his shoulder.

I felt beyond mortified. While I'd used such a language when I was at Hogwarts quite often, I'd always been careful around Charlie and the Cullens, though there had been a few moments when it had slipped. Saying that to Edward made me feel cheap and ashamed, since I'd never heard him curse in front of me. I sometimes wondered if he ever did.

His fingers started running up and down my back in a clear attempt to calm me down. With my face still buried in his shoulder, I mumbled, "Did I offend you?"

His other hand came to my face and he lifted my head, making me look at him. To my surprise, there was a small smile on his face. "No, you didn't offend me," he said, and then bit his lip, almost shyly. "On the contrary, I liked it."

"You did?" I squealed in surprise, making him laugh. "But... you never curse. I thought it would offend you."

Edward shook his head at me, his thumb caressing my cheek. "I don't curse in front of women because I was raised that way and I know Esme hates it."

"Well, I wouldn't mind...," I said, raising my eyebrow.

He chuckled, shaking his head again. "I think one of us should stay decent and since it obviously isn't you..."

I swatted his chest lightly, careful not to hurt myself, glaring at him. Suddenly I gasped, remembering something he'd said. "Who else heard me?" I asked, dreading the answer.

The look on his face told me everything even before he opened his mouth. "Um... it happened early in the morning, shortly after they all had come back from their private Christmas celebrations."

I groaned again but this time I couldn't hide my face because Edward was still caressing my cheek. "Even Carlisle and Esme?"

He nodded but gently pressed his finger across my lips before I could react. "Just so you know, they're not exactly saints either when they're together," he said with a wicked grin and I shook off his finger, clapping my hand over his mouth.

"Don't say another word or I'll have to bleach my brain. Or ask someone to wipe my memory." Ugh! I'd started to think of Carlisle and Esme as another set of parents to me so any kind of thought of them doing more than holding hands was disturbing.

Edward was laughing under my hand and I rolled my eyes pulling my hand away. "Can I have my memory wiped too?" he said when he calmed down a little. "I could do without some images in my _never forgetting_ mind too."


	21. The Wolf Siblings

**Chapter twenty-one**

"Edward didn't look very happy about you coming with me," said Charlie as we were driving to La Push in his cruiser next day.

"He'll get over it," I mumbled, staring out the window at the snow that was swirling outside. Charlie was right, Edward hadn't seemed happy to see me go but he knew that trying to talk me out of it was pointless. He'd kissed me goodbye with a tight smile, telling me to take care and to let him know when I'd be back. Then he'd run off.

"You two didn't fight, did you?" Charlie glanced at me, frowning.

"No," I said, turning to him with a reassuring smile. "I just explained to him that he can't be with me all the time."

"I wouldn't want to get you in trouble or anything," Charlie muttered, his eyes now firmly on the road.

His words made me grin. "You know you're my father, right?" I teased. "It's Edward who should worry about getting me in trouble."

Charlie grumbled something unintelligible, but I could see his cheeks turning pink. I turned my head back to the window. The snow had picked up and it was harder to see now. Suddenly, I straightened up in my seat with a gasp. Something had moved past us behind the trees. It was a huge, dark shape and it disappeared quickly.

"What is it, Bella?"

"I thought I saw something move there." I nodded toward the trees, frowning.

"A bear?" Charlie said uncertainly but I could tell he didn't really think it was a bear.

"Maybe. Or the wolves…"

"We're almost there," said Charlie determinedly, his voice quiet. "They wouldn't dare to stop us now. They don't know we know about them, remember?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, sighing in relief.

"If Jacob turns up, I want you to promise not to talk to him alone again," Charlie went on, his voice firm now.

I looked back at him. "Of course. I have nothing to say to him anyway." This time I was determined to keep this promise. I didn't care how much would Jake insist on talking to me, unless it was to apologize for what he'd said to Charlie and me the last time I'd seen him.

We spent the rest of the journey in silence, but I stayed on alert, looking out the window for any kind of movement. I didn't see anything though so by the time we arrived in La Push, I felt a little calmer. Charlie pulled over in front of a small, red-painted house but when I looked up and down the street, I noticed most of the houses were painted in various shades of red. The Clearwater's house was distinguished by a dark green roof and a small, now covered in snow, garden in the front. There was only one other car parked in the short driveway and it was an old sedan that must belong to Sue.

As soon as we were out of the car, the front door opened and a dark haired, russet skinned woman in her early forties stood there with a kind smile on her face.

She greeted Charlie with a hug, which told me that they were closer than Charlie'd like to admit, and then turned to me.

"You must be Bella." She smiled and took my hand in both of hers.

Sue quickly ushered us in, and we gave her the bottle of wine we'd brought with us. Inside it looked even smaller than Charlie's house. There was a short hallway leading to the kitchen on the right and the living room on the left. I could see two other doors on the end of the hallway, presumably the bedrooms. It looked very cosy with fire crackling in the fireplace in the living room and the amazing smell coming from the kitchen.

"Leah, go get Seth, please," Sue called out and a tall, young woman came out of the kitchen. She gave us a tight smile and disappeared in the back of the house. After a minute she returned with a boy tailing behind her. His hands were in his pockets and his head bowed. He too was quite tall for his age.

Seth raised his head and as soon as he spotted Charlie, he smiled. I gave him a small wave, but he ignored it and started talking about football. They went into the living room, still talking animatedly and I shuffled after them, not really having much to say.

Dinner was ready soon, so we moved to the kitchen to sit at the only table big enough for five people. As we ate, Sue asked me about living with Renee. I answered the best I could, keeping it vague. I picked a few details from my Thanksgiving visit, though.

After dinner, Seth was excited to show Charlie his new videogame he'd gotten for Christmas and I was surprised to see Charlie agree with almost as much enthusiasm. He'd never seemed the type for videogames. I shrugged it off, turning to Sue.

"They seem to get along really well," I said, nodding towards the living room, where Seth and Charlie had disappeared.

Sue nodded, smiling sadly, and started to clean the table. I offered my help, but she just shook her head. She and Leah then started with the dishes.

"Seth is still young enough to need a father figure, so he's found one in Charlie," Sue said, her back to me, as she cleaned a plate. "And I think Charlie still feels guilty for Harry's death," she added quietly.

I frowned. "But it wasn't his fault," I said defiantly, not sure if she blamed him or not.

Sue turned to me and I could see unshed tears in her eyes. "Of course it wasn't, Bella. I wouldn't have let him near my house if I thought it was." She then smiled again and walked out of the kitchen, saying she wanted to check on Charlie and Seth.

The clanking of the plates had stopped, and I turned to Leah, ready to ask if she wanted me to help now, when Sue had left. The question froze in my throat though, seeing her expression. The whole evening she'd been rather quiet, only talking when someone asked her a question. Now though, she was staring at me with a very strange expression.

"What?" I said, unable to stand the silence any longer.

Leah leaned against the counter, crossing her arms across her chest. It took at least a minute for her to answer.

"Why did you go back to your mom?" she asked.

I was taken aback by the question. I'd certainly hadn't expected that. "Um… we… missed each other," I said, trying to remember all the lies I'd prepared for exactly this kind of situation.

She frowned, pursing her lips. "She's married, right?" I nodded. "I thought she'd want to be with her husband."

"Yeah, well, he travels a lot, so she'd be alone quite often." I hated this. Even though I'd kept secrets from people for years, I'd always tried to avoid answering questions about me.

Leah was quiet for a minute, looking deep in thought, her eyes narrowed at me. "I heard you have a boyfriend here in Forks." I nodded again, curious where she was getting with it. "How does it work?"

I supressed a sigh. Again with the lies. When I looked more closely at Leah's face, I could see a resentment written on it, but I didn't think it was aimed at me. I'd thought her silence during dinner had been because she'd been still grieving for her dad but now it looked like there was more to it.

"Well, we talk every day," I finally said, speaking slowly and trying to avoid lying if I could. "And he visited me on Thanksgiving and now I'm here." I shrugged.

Leah nodded. "I had a boyfriend too, you know?" she said, sounding calm but her features turned hard. "Sam. We were together all the time but still, it apparently wasn't enough. _I_ wasn't enough."

I had no idea why she was telling me this, but I was curious. "What happened?"

"My cousin happened," she said through gritted teeth. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again. Then she sighed and sat down in a chair opposite me. "We were always close, Emily and me. When we were growing up, we were like sisters..." she trailed off, a distant look on her face.

The pause gave me time to realize something. Sam and Emily? That seemed familiar... "Your boyfriend was Sam Uley?" I asked, after I'd remembered Charlie telling me about them once.

Leah refocused back on me. "Yeah. You heard about him?"

I nodded. "Just a little. Dad mentioned him and Emily visiting him once. And Jacob Black used to be sort of scared of him before joining his gang."

"Sam used to be different," Leah went on. "Nice, funny... always felt protective of other people, those who were weak or mistreated by others. I loved that about him... We started dating when I was fifteen. We were so in love... just this spring we even started talking about marriage. I went to Peninsula College in Port Angeles just to be close to him. I mean, I could have gone to Seattle, I'd been accepted to UW and got the scholarship." She closed her eyes again, shaking her head slowly.

I listened to her story without interruption. I wondered what had happened but didn't want to pressure her.

"He started getting weird in the beginning of summer break. He became more distant and easily snapped at me even when I didn't do anything. And then he called to tell me he was sick, and I wasn't allowed to see him. It took two weeks for him to get better." She frowned, looking at her hands on the table. "When I finally saw him again, he was different. He'd cut his hair short and he seemed even taller than before. But he still insisted that he loved me, and we were gonna get married one day... And then, Emily came for a visit the last week of August and it was all over."

"What happened exactly?" I couldn't help asking even though I knew I was being nosy.

Leah looked up at me, her expression hard. "He fell madly in love with her," she spat, snapping her fingers. "Just like that. One look and suddenly I meant nothing to him. All the years we'd been together meant nothing."

I stared at her with wide eyes. "But... how could he fall in love with her so quickly? And while you were there?"

"I know, right? I mean, maybe love at first sight really exists but... he could have at least tried to hide in from me... but no. Emily walked in and he just gaped at her like someone had whacked him on the head. He broke up with me the next day, saying that he couldn't help it." She let out a bitter, slightly hysterical laugh.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, still trying to wrap my head around it.

"I didn't tell you, so you'd feel sorry for me," she snapped. Then she closed her eyes shortly and spoke with forced calmness. "That day taught me something though. Men can't be trusted. No matter how amazing and loyal they seem, they can easily betray you in a second."

Even though she tried to look calm, I could tell Leah was getting more agitated by the minute. Her hands were curled in fists on the table and her eyes were flashing angrily.

"Not all men are the same..." I started but the look on her face made me stop midsentence. Her hands were shaking slightly now.

"They are exactly the same. All of them," she growled.

"Edward wouldn't..." I tried again, but she refused to listen.

"You think he's the exception?" she sneered. "His family is not allowed here. There must be a reason for it."

"You don't know them," I said fervently.

"And you do? You don't even see them most of the time!"

My eyes grew wide. She had suddenly stood up, slamming the table with her fist. Why the hell was she so angry all of sudden? Her whole body was shaking now, and she looked quite deranged.

"I'm sorry, Leah. Calm down, please," I pleaded anxiously, but she didn't seem to listen.

"Leah!" Sue's alarmed voice sounded from the door. She and Charlie had been apparently drawn here by the raised voices.

"Come here, Bella," said Charlie, holding out a hand to me, his eyes on Leah, whose body was shaking more violently still.

As soon as I stood up, it happened.

One second, Leah was standing by the table. The next her body exploded into a huge, grey wolf, breaking the table to pieces. It'd happened so fast, that I barely had time to jump out of the way, pressing myself against the wall.

Sue shrieked and I heard Charlie curse, something he'd never done in front of me. Right then, Seth ran in the kitchen before anyone managed to stop him. One look at the wolf that had been his sister just a minute ago, was enough for him to transform too.

The two wolves, nearly as big as horses, were now standing in the small kitchen between me and the door. I could barely make out Charlie and Sue's terrified faces, but at least they seemed unharmed. The wolves were clearly panicking now, growling and whimpering, not knowing what had happened to them.

I stood there, still not able to understand what I'd just seen. Of course, I'd known about the wolves, but Leah and Seth hadn't shown any signs of impending transformation.

But I had a bigger problem right now. How was I supposed to get past them? They were blocking the way and I was scared to make even the slightest move. I could feel my heart pounding in my ears and my legs threatened to give up any second now. I was sure I'd have collapsed by now, hadn't I been pressed against the wall.

My thoughts turned to my wand that was hidden in my jeans, but I was reluctant to use it. They could become even more violent and it would do no good in this small space. And of course, that would mean a lot of explaining.

Just then, I heard the front door burst open and a moment later a huge man appeared in the doorway. "Is everyone alright?" he said, looking around at Charlie and Sue, who had backed away farther into the hallway when he'd arrived. Then the man's eyes swept around the kitchen. I nodded to his question and then he spoke to the wolves. "Leah, Seth, it's alright. I'll explain everything to you, you just must calm down. Go outside, the others will take care of you for now." His voice was calm but full of authority, and to my surprise, both Leah and Seth let out a quiet whimper and jumped out of the window, shattering the glass in the process.

I took a deep breath and slowly moved towards the door, my legs still shaking. Charlie stood there with his arms around Sue, who was sobbing into his shoulder. When he spotted me, his eyes quickly ran over my body. "Are you alright, Bella?" He looked pale and I could tell he was torn between comforting Sue and running to me.

I just nodded again, not trusting my voice. The huge man had walked to me and I instinctively took a step back and yet again pressed my back against the wall. He glanced at me but then turned his attention to Sue. She still hadn't looked at him, her face buried in Charlie's shoulder.

"Sue," said the man and waited until she reluctantly lifted her head and looked at him. "They will be alright. I'm going to take you to Billy now. He'll tell you everything you need to know." The tone of his voice didn't allow for any arguments. Then his eyes flickered between Charlie and me. "You won't tell anyone what you've just seen, do you understand?" There was an undertone in his voice to which Charlie immediately reacted.

"Are you threatening us, Sam?" he said defensively.

"It's not a threat. It's a warning," Sam said, but it did sound rather like a threat.

"I think we deserve an explanation. Those kids just turned into wolves for Christ's sake!" I was glad Charlie had the sense to act like he hadn't known about the wolves.

"You will forget all about it. Both of you." Sam's eyes flashed between us, stopping on me. He hadn't said a word directly to me but from the look on his face it was clear he didn't like me much.

"Or what?" said Charlie who had moved closer to me, pulling Sue behind him.

"I don't have time for this now," Sam growled and reached out for Sue. She glanced at Charlie worriedly, but he nodded reluctantly and let go of her. Sam put an arm around her shoulders, leading her towards the door. Then he turned back to us and said, "Go home and do not talk to anyone about this." He paused, smirking. "No one would believe you anyway. At least, no one normal would." He glanced at me at his last words and led Sue out of the house.

"Let's get out of here," Charlie said as soon as Sam and Sue were gone, handing me my coat. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, Dad," I mumbled, but let him steer me out of the door and towards the cruiser.

* * *

Charlie had decided to go straight to the Cullens. Alice must have seen something because Edward had been waiting for us on the porch and was beside the cruiser before Charlie pulled over. He yanked the door open, pulling me out and into his arms.

"Are you all right? Alice saw you coming here upset but she didn't know what had happened. Was it Jacob? I swear I'm going to kill him if – "

"I'm fine, Edward," I interrupted his frantic rambling, but still, I was happy to be in his arms, feeling marginally better. "And it wasn't Jacob."

"What happened?" he asked but at that moment Charlie walked to us, putting a hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Let's get inside, first," Charlie said, and Edward frowned but nodded, leading me up the steps and inside the house with Charlie following.

"Bella!" a familiar voice squealed, and I stopped, blinking at Alice who'd just appeared in front of us. She'd made a good use of the hair-growing potion I'd gave her for Christmas and was wearing two pigtails tied with pink ribbons. "What happened? My visions are all chaotic, I can't make sense of them! You're all over the place!"

She took me by the arm that wasn't wrapped around Edward's waist and dragged us to the living room. Edward protested against her force, but she ignored him. The rest of the family were there, of course, all looking worried.

Once we were seated on the couch, Alice perched herself on the armrest. "Speak, now," she ordered.

I was looking at Carlisle, who was sitting in the armchair opposite us, as I spoke. I told them everything that had happened at the Clearwater's, including me being nearly killed by Leah's transformation. I kept my eyes firmly on Carlisle the whole time, aware of Edward's tense posture next to me. When I finished there was a long silence.

"But... she's a woman," Rosalie was the first one to break the silence. "I thought only men were able to change?"

"Yeah, that's why it was such a shock. I never thought there was any danger," I said, shuddering internally as I thought about how close I'd been to being seriously injured or worse. "I mean, there even hadn't been any signs, right Dad?" I turned to Charlie.

"No. And Sue never mentioned anything either."

"How old is the boy?" asked Carlisle quietly, speaking for the first time.

"Twelve," said Charlie. "Too young in my opinion."

"Indeed," Carlisle muttered, and his eyes shifted to Edward. It looked like they were having a silent conversation and after a few seconds I saw Edward nod.

"All right," Carlisle said to the rest of us, looking around. "We need to meet with Billy Black or Sam Uley, preferably tonight. I want to know how many wolves there are and make sure they will respect the treaty. I will call Billy and try to arrange a meeting. Edward, Jasper, I will need you two to accompany me."

"I'm coming too!" boomed Emmett and Rosalie nodded fervently.

"No, Emmett," said Carlisle, shaking his head. "Your size might provoke an unwanted reaction and I want it to be a peaceful meeting. Just the three of us will be enough."

* * *

I'd been pacing around my room for the last fifteen minutes. It was one o'clock in the morning and Edward still hadn't come back from the meeting with the Quileutes. Sleep was out of the question – even if I wasn't used to falling asleep with Edward next to me, I was still too wound up to be able to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Leah's body transform into the huge wolf, breaking the table just inches from me. It made me shudder every time I thought about it.

I was also curious about the meeting. I wasn't worried about Edward's safety – he'd told me they just wanted to talk, and I knew Carlisle would do anything to avoid any kind of violence. But waiting until morning seemed too long to me, I wanted to know now.

Finally, I sat down on the side of my bed that was facing the window and tried to summon Edward with the power of my stare. It didn't seem to work though, so after ten minutes I gave up and lay down on the bed, covering my face with my hands.

"Why are you still up?" said a quiet velvet voice from the window, making me gasp. "Sorry," Edward muttered, but I'd already scrambled off the bed and threw myself around his neck.

"Finally! What took you so long? I was going crazy here!" I mumbled into his shoulder.

"Bella," he breathed out with a surprised chuckle. "You didn't really think I'd get hurt, did you?"

I let go of his neck, but he'd placed his hands on my waist, keeping me close to him. "No, it wasn't that. I just... couldn't sleep and you weren't here to calm me down and I wanted to know what happened in the meeting..."

Edward shook his head and an amused smirk appeared briefly on his face. Then he sighed and steered me towards my bed. "Get in bed first and then I'll tell you."

I quickly did as he'd told me and once I was in bed, Edward lay next to me and took my hand. "So?" I asked, my eyes on his face.

"We met with both Billy and Sam and another wolf, Jared, was in the woods. They thought we couldn't hear him, but he wasn't far enough to avoid my mind reading…" He smirked. "They were as surprised by Leah's transformation as we were. Apparently, Leah didn't take it well at all. I could hear her through Jared…" He fell silent, frowning slightly.

"What about the treaty?" I asked, making him refocus on me.

"It's still in place, of course. But they were concerned about you and Charlie knowing about them. They made it our responsibility that you won't tell anyone. It's actually a new addition to the treaty."

I let out a frustrated sigh. "That's ridiculous. I mean, if they knew about the existence of wizards, they would know that we've known about them for a long time and you wouldn't have to pretend to keep your word."

"I know, Bella, but it's not our place to tell them."

I grimaced but I knew he was right. "So, what else did they say?"

He shrugged. "That's about it. Sam was in a hurry to be with Leah and Seth."

"But you were gone for hours!" I said, surprised.

"Couldn't wait, huh?" Edward said with a cheeky smile and I glared at him. He kissed the tip of my nose and said, "I went for a quick hunt. I needed to clear my head a little. The fact that you were nearly killed didn't really sit well with me." His voice sounded calm, but I could detect a slight edge in it.

"I shouldn't have told you that," I mumbled.

He threw me a stern look. "I'd have found out anyway. I got a glimpse of how it had happened in Leah's thoughts… I didn't know it was that close…" he whispered and closed his eyes for a brief moment. When he opened them again, he looked at me pleadingly. "Please, promise you'll never go near them again, Bella."

The anxiety in his voice made me nearly gasp, so I didn't need to think twice about the promise. "I promise, Edward. I have no desire to ever go to La Push or see any of the wolves again," I said earnestly.

He watched me for what seemed like a minute before letting out a sigh. "I believe you but as much as I wish you didn't have to ever see them again, I'm not sure if we can avoid it completely." Seeing my frown, he explained, "They want to check on Charlie from time to time."

I gritted my teeth angrily. "I bet he won't be too happy about it. I'm going to spend more time in your house then. And they won't come here at nights, will they?"

Edward shrugged. "I don't know. But I'll keep an ear out for them and will be able to get you out of here in time."

I sighed out in relief. I really wanted to still be able to sleep here rather than at the Cullens, especially after my humiliating sleep talking the other night. I still expected Emmett to make fun of me again.

Then I thought of something else. "What about Sue? She and Charlie are friends..."

"His feelings for her are more than friendly..." Edward said, pulling me closer to his chest.

"I knew it!" I said with a chuckle.

"I don't know what his intentions are though. He might still want to see her," Edward went on. "I don't believe Sue would turn into a wolf, but Leah and Seth live with her and that is a problem."

I frowned. I didn't like the idea of Charlie in that house again. "We have to talk to him," I muttered, stifling a yawn.

"We will," he said, kissing the top of my head. "Go to sleep, now, sweetheart. I know you're tired."

I scowled at his chest, but he switched the lamp on my nightstand off and soon I drifted to sleep.


	22. Request

**A/N: Hello! I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to update. I got stuck and couldn't think of a way to move the story forward so I had to take a short break. Then I decided to write this chapter in Edward's POV - it was somehow easier to get into his head than Bella's this time. Hope you don't mind too much :)**

 **Enjoy**

 **Chapter twenty-two**

 ** _Edward_**

"Do you really have to play with your food, Emmett?" I said with an eyeroll from the tree branch I was sitting on some hundred yards from my brother and his prey.

Emmett just waved at me cheerfully and continued taunting the great grizzly bear that was furiously swiping its big paws at him.

I sighed, leaning against the tree trunk.

It was the first Saturday of January and Bella had her first Apparition lesson after the disastrous accident. Of course, we all had taken precautions. Esme and Rosalie took little Sarah and were spending the day with Charlie at his house. Alice convinced Jasper to go shopping to Port Angeles with her, even though he would have preferred going with me and Emmett on a whole day hunting trip to the Canadian border where we were just now. Only Carlisle stayed with Bella and Toby, in case there was a need of medical attention. He'd even gotten a magical first-aid kit from Amelia just to be safe.

After a few more minutes, Emmett got tired of his game and finished off the bear with a sudden strike right at the bear's throat. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back. Even though I killed animals to lessen my thirst, I'd never liked seeing them suffer. Emmett, on the other hand, enjoyed the game and found it exciting.

I heard him approach my tree, and in a second, he climbed up and sat down on another branch slightly above me. I opened my eyes and shook my head when I saw the state of his clothes.

Emmett grinned at me. "Did you even eat anything?" he said, waving his hand toward my still clean t-shirt.

"Of course I did." I rolled my eyes again. "Not all of us eat like a savage, you know?"

"Where's the fun in that?" he said with a wide grin. "So," he went on after a short pause. "How's it going between you and Bella?"

I saw in his mind what he meant but I decided to stall, not really eager to give him an answer. "What do you mean?"

Emmett snorted in amusement. "Really? You suck at telepathy if you have to ask that, Eddie."

I kicked him in the knee for that stupid nickname. "We're doing fine, thanks for asking," I said, leaning my head against the trunk again so I wouldn't have to look at him.

 _Wow, what an elaborate answer!_ He sniggered in his thoughts, kicking my branch, nearly breaking it in two. "I'd thought you'd loosen up now that you have a girlfriend."

"It doesn't mean I have to talk about it with _you_ ," I mumbled, still not looking at him.

"Come on, _Edward_ ," he drew out my name annoyingly. "I'll give you some tips if you want." And he started to replay some of his sexual adventures with Rosalie in his mind to make his point.

I groaned. " _Stop it!"_ I growled, but it only made him laugh out loud. I sprang up and threw myself on Emmett so we both came hurtling down to the snowy ground. We pushed around for a minute but ended up laughing. I punched him in the face for good measure before getting to my feet.

 _Don't be so touchy,_ he thought at me, but I ignored him, stalking off in no specific direction. Emmett caught up with me quickly, grabbing my arm. "Hey, I mean it. I want to help." I could see in his thoughts that he was telling the truth.

I sighed, turning to him. "Do I look like I need it?"

 _You've never done it, bro…_

I chuckled. "Trust me Emmett, I know how it's done." I tapped my temple. "And as for the tips – you've never been with a human woman, not since you were changed anyway. What tips can you possibly give me?"

"Well, she's still a woman, isn't she?" he said with a shrug and yet again started giving me _tips_ in his thoughts. He laughed as he saw my disgusted expression but then became more serious. "You _are_ planning on it while she's still human, aren't you?"

I blew out a breath, realizing he wouldn't let it go, and sat down on nearby rock. "We want to try. But we're not ready yet," I said, running my hands through my hair.

Emmett plopped down on the ground opposite me, leaning back on his hands. "You have to practice," he said wisely. _I still don't get it, though… how do you do it when she smells so good to you?_

"I don't know," I said honestly. "I just… can't stand the thought of her being hurt." I closed my eyes, burying my face in my hands. "I was really close to losing control a few times…" I admitted into my palms.

That surprised Emmett. "Really?" _I mean… other than the first day and when she ripped her foot off?_

I nodded.

 _… didn't know that…_ "But still… I can't imagine being around someone who smells so good as she does to you," he said. _I didn't last half a second…_ His thoughts turned to the one time, when he'd run into his own singer and killed the poor woman before he even realized what had happened.

I shuddered internally, grateful that I'd been able to somehow stop myself from attacking Bella the very first day we'd met. I couldn't imagine my life without her now.

"So…" Emmett interrupted my thoughts, getting back to the original topic. "How long do you want to wait?"

I looked up and shook my head to clear my mind a little. "I don't know," I said truthfully. "Not too long, though."

"Yeah, she might attack you soon if you wait too long," he said with a laugh, remembering Bella's sleep talking from the last time she'd spent night in my room.

I rolled my eyes, kicking his shin. "Do you really have to keep embarrassing her?" I asked, half-irritated, half-amused. He had been teasing Bella about it the whole past week.

"Oh, come on! She gives as good as she gets," he said, grinning. _It's fun … don't be such a bore._

I ignored his internal jibe, answering only his spoken words. "That doesn't mean she's not embarrassed. She refuses to sleep over again because of you." I frowned, crossing my arms.

Emmett waved it off. "She'll get over it." He then tilted his head and I groaned as I saw what he was about to ask. "Why don't you just change her anyway? It would be so much easier for you." _And she said she wants it._

"She's not ready yet. She wants to finish school first," I said through gritted teeth. Although I'd been forced to admit that changing Bella would be the only possible way to continue our relationship, I still didn't like the idea of causing her so much pain. "And I doubt it will be me who will change her."

Emmett snorted. "Of course it'll be you," he said confidently. "And after they come up with the vampire potion, it'll be a piece of cake."

"If they come up with it…" I muttered, staring at the ground. A few days ago, Carlisle and Alice had been asked to go to the Magical Congress for a meeting about the potion. It was still in an early stage, but they needed Alice to see what effect certain ingredients would cause when combined.

 _Always the optimist…_ Emmett chuckled sarcastically, shaking his head at me. "I'm sure they will. And then, if Bella goes to Britain, you and me will go with her, kill the bad guys and you will marry her and live happily ever after."

I laughed out loud at his fairy-tale but then frowned at something he'd said. "Wait… you want to go with us?"

"Duh, I thought you were smart." He rolled his eyes at me. "There's no way you'll get all the glory."

I grinned at him, but all the talk about Bella made me miss her even more than usual. I checked my watch and saw that it was time to go.

"Can we go home yet?" Emmett asked. He never bothered wearing a watch.

"Yep."

Emmett got to his feet, grinning at me widely. "Race me?" he asked but before I could react, he shot off. I rolled my eyes after him, slowly getting to my feet. I could give him several minutes of a head start and still beat him easily.

* * *

"Next time, I'll get you," Emmett growled after we arrived home. I'd let him lead for most of the journey but right before we reached the stream near our house, I'd shown him the meaning of the word speed.

"Sure you will," I mumbled, not really paying him much attention anymore. I'd just heard my favorite sound in the world and it was coming from my room. Bella's heartbeat. It sounded slow and relaxed, so it meant she was sleeping.

It wasn't that late, so I quickly focused on the thoughts of my family. All of them were home now but Carlisle was in his office, getting ready for a night shift at the hospital. I went straight to him, since he was there when Bella had had her lesson.

 _Come in, Edward,_ he thought at me before I reached the door.

I opened the door and saw him standing with his back to the door, putting his things into his medical bag. _How was the hunt?_

"It was fine," I muttered but I wasn't interested in a small talk. "How did it go with Bella?" I asked, getting right to the point.

Carlisle chuckled, turning to face me. _Can't wait to see her… I see…_ Seeing my impatient expression, he finally let me see Bella's lesson in his mind. I chuckled at his memory of her stamping her foot frustratingly as she'd yet again failed to Apparate.

"So, she didn't do it?"

"No," he answered aloud. "And with you and Jasper gone, she got easily frustrated."

I sighed, running my hand through my hair. I always hated being away from her but seeing that she could have used my help to succeed at something she wanted to do and not being able to be here for her made me feel frustrated as well.

 _Edward…_ I looked up at Carlisle as he approached me and gritted my teeth at what he was about to say. "You should stay here, next time." He put up his hands to stop me from arguing. "I am sure you can handle it. You're stronger than you think."

"Carlisle, I…"

 _Just think about it, son… talk to Bella._

"I… I'm not sure it's a good idea." Pulling at my hair, I started pacing in front of him.

Carlisle put his hand on my arm, stopping me. "Talk to her."

I turned to him, wanting to argue further but his expression and thoughts stopped me. He rarely used his full authority on any of us but now I could see that he meant for me to really do as he asked of me.

"All right. I'll talk to her," I muttered and at once his face cleared and his thoughts turned to another topic, something he'd wanted to tell me since I'd gotten back from the hunt. "What is it?" I asked with a frown.

 _I've been given a permission to go to the archives at the Congress!_ Carlisle was suddenly excited, and I couldn't help but laugh. He'd been obsessed with the idea of a connection between the vampire Gifts and magic ever since Bella had come up with it. There hadn't been time or opportunity to pursue this idea until now though.

"You think you can find something?" I was intrigued. The thought of magic having something to do with my telepathy was exciting.

"We'll see! I'm going there tomorrow." Carlisle beamed at me, grabbing his medical bag. _I have to go now… see Esme before I leave…_

I nodded and we left his office together. We met Esme on the hallway just before I was about to turn to the stairs leading up to the next floor.

"Tell Bella she can stay the night," said Esme after giving me a brief hug.

"I don't think she'll want to," I said with a sigh.

 _Still embarrassed, isn't she?_ Esme thought, frowning slightly. I nodded. _Poor thing. I'll have a word with Emmett about teasing her like that._

I smiled at her but knowing that she wanted to spend a few minutes with her husband before Carlisle left, I turned and ran up the stairs and straight into my room. I opened the door as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake Bella up.

She lay on her back, fast asleep, with one of my old journals laying open on her chest. I'd allowed her to read them, guessing right that she'd been curious about them but didn't want to appear too intrusive. Sitting on the bed next to her, I carefully took the journal and looked at the page she'd been reading.

I frowned, grimacing uncomfortably. It was about the day I'd contemplated leaving Carlisle and Esme. Although I wanted Bella to know everything about me, it still made me feel uneasy to let her read some of my inner thoughts. Especially the period before I'd left and my four years of rebellion were still painful to remember even now, some eighty years later. Still I knew I wouldn't take the journals from her. She had to know who she would be spending forever with.

I put the journal on the bedside table just as Bella hummed in her sleep, snuggling to my side. I chuckled, amazed as always that she was somehow able to feel my presence even in her sleep. I kissed the top of her head, breathing in her scent, letting it burn my throat. She threw her arm across my chest and stirred a little, burying her face into my chest. I smiled and, knowing that she was about to wake up, took her hand and gently kissed her knuckles.

"Hello, sleepyhead," I murmured and felt her smile against my t-shirt. Then she yawned and slowly raised her head, squinting at me sleepily.

"You're back," she mumbled, her voice still a little raspy. Frowning, she looked around at the clock on the wall. "I fell asleep." Her frown deepening, she sat up, brushing aside her hair that had fallen into her face. "I didn't mean to fall asleep," she said with a pout.

"You're adorable," I said with a chuckle, earning a slight slap over my chest that only made me grin wider. Catching her hand before she could pull it off, I pulled her back to my chest. "Esme said you can stay the night."

"No," she said stubbornly, as I knew she would. "I like the privacy of my room, thanks."

I rolled my eyes, but she didn't see that. "But my bed is more comfortable."

"I don't care."

I sighed. "You're being ridiculous." She looked up at me, opening her mouth but I went on. "You know that they envy you the ability to sleep?" Bella tilted her head in disbelief. "Really. Emmett would give everything to hear Rosalie moaning his name in her sleep." I smirked. It was true.

She stared at me for a few seconds but then shook her head. "No." She sat up again and I knew it was pointless trying to persuade her to stay. She scrambled out of bed and put on her sneakers. "I promised Charlie to tell him how my lesson went." At the last few words, she grimaced. "I didn't move an inch," she grumbled.

I stood up and walked to her, taking her hand. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Of course you know," she muttered with a sigh, tugging at my hand. "Let's go see Charlie."

* * *

I sat quietly at the table with Bella and Charlie while they ate dinner, and Bella talked about her lesson. Charlie was relieved that Bella had managed not to hurt herself this time and sympathetic to her frustration.

"I talked to Sue today," Charlie said as Bella did the dishes. She turned around to face him with raised eyebrows and I could sense uncertainty in Charlie's mind.

He'd accepted the fact that he wouldn't be able to see Sue for some time quite well, but it didn't stop him from calling her from time to time. I knew he worried about her living with two young wolves, though as far as we knew there had been no accidents.

"How is she?" asked Bella, leaning against the counter.

Charlie frowned. "I think she knows about the Cullens."

That didn't surprise me. I knew there was a strong possibility that she would be informed about us now that her children had joined the wolf pack. Bella, on the other hand, looked surprised.

"They are allowed to tell her that?" He eyebrows creased and she looked at me. "Didn't they break the treaty by telling her?"

"There are other people who know about us than those that can turn into wolves," I said slowly, holding my hand out to Bella. She walked to me and sat in the chair next to me, taking my hand. I smiled automatically at the warmth of her touch but quickly focused back on the topic. "The families of the wolves are usually told everything, so are their partners, if they have them."

Bella nodded, looking back at her father. "What did she say?"

"She said she was happy you were back with your mother," Charlie said, frowning again.

"Did she warn you to stay away from us?" I asked, curious.

"Not exactly." He paused. "She said 'I'm glad she's safe.' But she could have meant safe from the wolves…"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I'm sure she meant us. She's in more danger from the wolves that Bella is here."

"I'm worried about the wolves wanting to check on me," said Charlie after a few moments. "Edward, are you sure you'll be able to hear them in time? I know you said you would but…" he trailed off, shrugging.

"Bella is at my house all day and I'm here at night. I'm sure I'll be able to hear them. They don't know how my mind reading works, that I can hear them from miles away."

Charlie felt a little calmer after my words. He glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall and said, "Well, that's a relief. Anyway, the game starts in five minutes, so…" He gestured towards the living room, looking at Bella.

"Go Dad," she said, giving him a small smile. Charlie got up and walked into the living room.

* * *

"Can we talk about something?" Bella asked me half an hour later when we were alone in her room.

"Of course," I said, pulling her into my lap and leaning against the headboard of her bed.

She chewed on her bottom lip, seemingly unsure how to begin. I tried to be patient but, as usual, failed miserably.

"Bella?"

"Um… I was wondering…" she started, hesitating again. Seeing my impatient expression, she finally went on. "I think you should stay with me when I have my next Apparation lesson." She said it very quickly.

I stared at her. Had Carlisle talked to her about it? It was suspicious that both of them brought it up the same day.

"Did Carlisle put you up to this?" I asked, trying to sound calm. I gritted my teeth to keep my temper under control.

"Well… we might have talked about it a bit, yeah." Her cheeks turned red and she lowered her eyes to my chest.

I sighed, lifting her chin with my finger. "I already told Carlisle that it's not a good idea."

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, her shyness suddenly gone. "Why not?"

Seriously? "Well, I don't know… maybe because I don't want to kill you."

She rolled her eyes at me, which made my temper rise even more. I pressed my lips to stop myself from snapping at her.

"You wouldn't kill me, Edward. You're stronger than you think."

I closed my eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Why does everyone think that?" I muttered, not sure she could hear me.

She had. I felt her warm palm on my cheek and opened my eyes. Her face was nearly touching mine and her big chocolate brown eyes were staring into mine. "Because we all know you." I took a breath to argue but she put her palm over my mouth. "We do! Carlisle knows you better than anyone. And if he thinks you can handle it, I'm sure it's true."

Gently, I removed her hand from my mouth. "Carlisle has never met anyone, whose blood smelled to him like yours does to me. He can't possibly know how that feels."

Bella crossed her arms across her chest. "You know, Carlisle told me about Emmett. How he killed the woman that smelled to him as I do to you." I closed my eyes again. I hated losing arguments and it looked like Bella was, yet again, ready for everything I said. She went on. "You resisted me even the first day."

"Only because Alice had showed me what would have happened if I attacked you," I said, but I could feel my will slowly weaken.

She wouldn't give up. "I heard it's impossible to resist. That nothing can stop the vampire from attacking. _You_ stopped." I opened my eyes to see her shaking her head with a small smile. "Then you started talking to me, seeing me, _kissing_ _me_. We've even talked about having… sex." Bella's cheeks turned red again, but she didn't look away.

I lifted my hand and touched her still red cheek. "Why it's so important to you that I stay?" I whispered.

Now she did try to look away, but I held her face, making her look into my eyes. I could tell she found my question uncomfortable, but I needed to know.

"Because…" she started and again tried to look away. My hold was firm. She took a deep breath and went on. "Because your presence calms me. I couldn't concentrate today. I kept thinking about… things I always try not to think about."

I sighed. I didn't have to ask what _things_ she'd meant. She had gone through a lot during the past months, maybe even years. I was sure there were still things she hadn't told me about.

When I didn't say anything, she pressed on. "The other person that can keep me calm is Jasper. I can't possibly ask him, Edward." I shuddered internally, remembering how my brother had nearly killed her. "You can do it. I know you can."

"If I hurt you – "

"We'll make a lot of precautions. We already did today. I took a break after every fifteen minutes, so I wouldn't get tired. We'll cast the Shield charm around the clearing. And Carlisle would be there with you."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "You've clearly thought it through."

Bella smiled. "Yeah. Will you think about it?"

I rested my head against the headboard, closing my eyes. Could I really do it? Was it possible that they were all right? That I was really stronger than I thought? The thought of hurting Bella in any way was physically painful, and it was that that kept me from losing control around her. If she really struggled to focus without me, then I had to do something about it.

I opened my eyes. She was watching me intently, so I slowly nodded. The smile that spread across her face was breathtaking.

"Thank you," she whispered, leaning forward to kiss me.


End file.
